nakedjen

ARGHHH!!!

I just wrote a veryveryvery long post and it vanished.  I am in no mood to write it all again.  How very frustrating.

We leave at 4:30 a.m. tomorrow for the airport.  I think that should be against the law.  We're undecided about whether or not to capitulate our seats in favor of free plane tickets for future flights.  I don't want to spend my entire day in the airport.  However, given my new employment status, where do I have to be exactly?

I do miss Clyde terribly, however.  And that makes me think Santa Cruz would be a very nice place to be indeed.

Our visit to North Carolina has been a very nice FAMILY visit.  Dave even mentioned yesterday that he could live here.  I laughed.  I'm not moving to North Carolina.  Maui, yes.  North Carolina, no.

News to share on Maui.  Other news to share on a few possible employment opportunities.  I wrote about all of this, but like I said, it all just vanished.

Maybe the Universe decided it just wasn't time to really share it.

Oh, and as for writing plays for the girl-friend get-togethers?  Why not?  We can don our crowns and perform!  Will we charge the neighborhood kids to come and see the plays?  Because that's what I also used to do...charge them all $1.00 each.  I truly had no shame!

Be Thankful

Thanksgiving.  Stuffed.  Full.  Rolly-Polly. 

Seventeen Kerns and psuedo Kerns gathered yesterday around two tables to share a Thanksgiving feast that could have fed half of North Carolina.

For the first time in my life, I was not seated at the children’s table.  Maybe the fact that I’m nearly 40 and married had something to do with that, although it could be that there are now grandchildren involved in the equation and so that necessitated a combination of adults and children that meant there wasn’t really a “children’s” table anymore.  I had told my mother that I was sure I’d still be at the children’s table this year and she laughed at me.  I don’t know why it bothers me, really, but it does.  My grandmother had always found it odd, as well, that I was seated at the “children’s” table when I was in my thirties.  But she’s dead now and without her to defend me and complain, I was sure that I’d be delegated to sit with the kids. 

When we were all children the entire Kern clan always gathered for Thanksgiving.  I took this opportunity to torture my cousins by making them perform in plays that I had written especially for the occasion.  These were no simple productions.  I would spend the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving writing a special play with a part for every one.  On Thanksgiving day, as soon as everyone arrived, we’d all scurry to the third floor of our house where we’d rehearse.  And rehearse.  And rehearse.  By the time it was time for the official meal we were ready to perform complete with costumes and memorized lines.

Oh the torture. 

Last night my cousins all laughed when I told them I had written another play for them to perform.  They said that at least now I had actual professional training!  And then they told me how their own kids perform for them at family gatherings.  The acting gene has been passed along. 

I couldn’t be happier.

By the way.  Don’t go looking for coffee and a pastry on the day after Thanksgiving in Raleigh.  Seems that the Friday after the Thursday is a holiday around here as well.  So much for all that shopping that is supposed to be done.  Not here in the South.  No, that just isn’t done.

Greetings from Raleigh

We made it to North Carolina.  No thanks to United Airlines, although props go out to Clinton, especially, for not having a complete meltdown when I was lessthannice about how unacceptable the arrangements had become.

I am at the library...so this will be very brief.  My sister has been a lovely hostess.  Her house is beautiful.  Raleigh is as I remember.  The skies are still an amazing shade of blue.

More later.  Robin and Duvall are waiting for me outside.  I'm at the library using their free internet access.  I feel guilty keeping them waiting.

THANKS for all the congratulations.  Our future is really bright.  And the stress is shedding off like old skin.

Blessings In Disguise

Dave and I have a saying:  We want the drama in our lives to be on the screen and stage and not actually in our lives.

I have spent the weekend thinking that I was going to write all kinds of things about what happened to us last week.  All kinds of exposes and truths and things as I saw them.  All kinds of thoughts about what really happened.

But you know what?

I don’t need to write about any of that.  Writing about all of that will only prolong the agony. 

So, I’ll just tell you that Dave and I were both fired on Friday from our jobs at our company.  We were not shocked.  There were lots of tears shed by me, but mostly because everyone else in the company (save for the three or four who actually already knew) was very shocked and they were crying, too.

Dave and  I actually view this entire event as a blessing.  It’s no secret that we want to manifest Maui.  It’s no secret that we’re wanting to both move on to other more fun and exciting things.  Yet, neither of us is a quitter so we didn’t feel exactly comfortable just quitting our jobs.

The Universe stepped in big time.  During the Harmonic Convergence, Dave actually asked that he have a life where he could stay up late and write because he finds he’s most inspired in the veryveryvery late hours.  Now he can do exactly that.

I actually asked for change.  I wasn’t specific.  I just said, “Please change it.  Because this isn’t working for me anymore.” 

It’s certainly a reminder to both of us that we need to always be careful what we ask for.  So we both just view this as a blessing.  A true blessing.  We both got fired, so we’re free to move forward together.  One of us isn’t still stuck there, which would have really made both of us stuck there.  There's no more drama in our lives.  It's finally over.

Yes, this is a true blessing.  What the future holds, we haven’t decided yet.  But I can tell you this.  We’re both giddy with excitement and we haven’t been giddy in a really long time.

All thanks to the Universe.  Again.  She always listens.

(and a reminder to those reading Sunday...it's the new moon...light a candle and ask for what you really need)

Patience? I Don't Have Time!

So much to say, so little time.  It's only 7:54 a.m. and I'm already late.  That feels very wrong to me.  I honestly believe that I'm doing something to try and change that in my life, but right now it doesn't seem to be happening as quickly as I'd like. 

I'm always preaching patience.  I think I need to listen to the words I utter.

There are lovely things being said in the comments here about friendships and the nature of friends.  I think that the word friend has just taken on too many definitions and it's not able to encompass them all.  We need new words.  We always need new words.

In other news, we leave for North Carolina in a few days.  And before we go, I've got a conference to attend in San Francisco, two web sites to redesign, Clyde's pyschic is coming and I have to get him all sorted.  The Care and Feeding of Clydesdale takes a bit of preparation when you're leaving it to others.

Halley's Fame and Fortune

I read this tonight and was glad that I did. 

Nice little reminder.

Thank you, Halley.  You don't even know me, but I did speak to you at BloggerCon.  Very briefly.  And now I read your blog. 

That tidbit?  Absolutely perfect.

Opus Redux!

A really good article and interview about the Return of Opus.

You all already know I'm drooling all over myself with excitement.

I feel like I'm waiting for Santa!

Mike Sheehy is Alive and Well

He's alive. And well.

I found Tony Munroe alive and well in Hong Kong. He confirmed for me that Mike is also alive and well.

Just wanted to set the record straight.

Rumour mills can make me crazy.

Starting Over

Born Famous and I are embarking on a journey together.  She's ready to make some really significant changes in her life.  Life changes.  Things that will ultimately will make her life better.  I'm going to help her try.

We won't do it alone, however.  We'll bring in others to help when necessary.  She's got lots of clutter in her life and I believe that clutter is more than the mounds of paper that are piling up around her making her feel trapped and the filled with even more despair. 

I've been there.  I know exactly how she feels.  Together, we're going to see if we can't get the Universe to help us make it just a little bit better.

To keep us honest, we're going to blog about it.  So if we're slacking, let us know. 

The Nature of Friends

I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends lately.  The word friend seems to have been bastardized somewhat I think.  Now we all have best friends, and best best friends and one true friends and long lost friends and childhood friends and even pseudo friends.

What happened to just plain friends?

I admit that I am certainly guilty of claiming to have all of the above.  However, in a conversation that I was having today with my “sista” (yet another friend classification), I realized that some friends move from category to category during the course of a friendship.  For example, my friend Elizabeth.  We were best friends in sixth grade.  We are still best friends.  However, we only talk about twice a year.  Do best friends really only talk to each other twice a year?  Well, if they’ve known each other all their lives, the answer is yes.  I can call her at 4:00 a.m. and she talks to me like she talked to me just yesterday.  She knows me inside and out.  There’s no filling in the blanks necessary.  She just knows.  She could be classified as best friend, long lost friend, childhood friend.  All of those fit.  Yet for me, she’ll always be my best friend.  Period.

Those kinds of friendships are truly rare and should be cherished.  I’m having lunch with three girlfriends tomorrow whom I haven’t seen in over a year.  We all live in the same town.  How can something like that happen?  Our lives are all filled with our own dramas and somehow we’ve forgotten that we “have” each other.  My call last week to say, “Are you still breathing?” has resulted in a lunch date.  But honestly, don’t these three girlfriends deserve better from me?  As I heard last weekend, you have to give to receive.  I think of myself as a giver, but maybe I’m not.  Maybe I’m coming up quite short on the giving end.   Maybe I’m just not giving the quality of friendship that I should be. 

These questions of friendship have me quite perplexed.  Friends are important to me.  I cherish my friendships and truly value them.  Friends are the ones who sustain me when all else seems to fail.  And yet, I can go an entire year without even contacting them.  What kind of friend is that?

And tomorrow night I’m gathering with yet another group of “friends” that I’ve met through the Internet.  Are they any less real because I met them on-line in a forum dedicated to wedding planning?  I don’t think so.  Some people like to call those friends my imaginary friends.  I know they’re real.  I’ve lived through their weddings, the birth of their children, the loss of their pets and parents, and even the break-ups of their marriages.  These friends are very, very real.  Just because most of our contact is through email does not mean that I don’t love them and care about them. 

I hope my friends know that I care.  I hope that they know that I love them.  I hope that they know that at the end of the day I’m very glad that they are a part of my universe.  I probably don’t tell them that enough. 

Hey you.  I love you.  Thanks for being my friend.