I have been very fortunate to have known the kindness of strangers on many occasions in my life. There are many tales I could share with all of you, but will limit myself on this occasion to just three. Which I suppose is still a lot, since it’s more than one and even more than two.
One would think that because I am a deadhead, I’d be predisposed to the kindness of strangers simply because of the lifestyle that I chose. And I guess that you might be right. It certainly has been the case for me, although I can’t for certain tell you if it truly is because I am a deadhead or just because I am who I am.
My friends will tell you I have an uncanny knack for finding “miracle” tickets. When you traveled to a Grateful Dead concert without a ticket, you spent a great deal of your time wandering the parking lot, or the freeway (I’ll share the story of my arrest at another time) looking for someone who might just happen to have an extra ticket. When you had no money for that ticket, you were looking for a miracle. Legions of deadheads would wander the parking lots before each and every show with a finger in the air crying, “I need a miracle.” I would be wandering with them.
Since I was more often on tour with the Grateful Dead than I was not, I would often find myself in some random stadium parking lot in some random city without a ticket for myself or any of my traveling companions. Often there were six or seven of us who all needed a miracle. As soon as we arrived on the scene, I’d immediately go to work. What never ceased to surprise me was just how quickly I could find a ticket. Shows could be sold out for months in advance, but all I had to do was put my finger in the air and a ticket would magically appear. We could literally arrive right at show time, park the van in the lot and before we reached the front entrance, I’d have free tickets for everyone who was traveling with us.
I do believe that the reason this happened for me is because whenever I had an extra ticket, and there were times that I did, I was always sure to give it away. I never charged folks for my extras. I always miracled the most down and out hippy I could find.
When the Grateful Dead went to Europe in 1990, I was determined to go with them. Of course, I had nothing to offer, really, but a smile. I sold my keyboards to pay for my plane ticket and flew to London. From there, I relied on the kindness of strangers to get me through the rest of the tour. I traveled to Amsterdam and then to Denmark, all through Germany, to Paris and back to London and scored miracle after miracle along the way. I was never quite sure how I was going to get to the next show or where I was going to sleep each night or even what I was going to eat, but somehow it all just worked out. European deadheads were just as kind as their American brothers and sisters. I became a believer in the power of a smile and a bigger believer in the kindness of my fellow man.
A year later I found myself standing on the side of the road in Sacramento hitchhiking. I was trying to get home to my apartment in San Francisco nearly three hours away. It was about one in the morning and I was certain I’d be spending the night in some field by the side of highway 80. Then a car stopped and I hopped in. The driver was a man who I guessed was in his early 30’s. We chatted and he asked me where I was headed. I told him I was hoping to get myself home to San Francisco. He lived in Sacramento and wouldn’t actually be going very far. I told him that was okay, I’d just find another ride if he let me off further down the road.
But he smiled and told me he would drive me home. I said that wouldn’t be necessary, that I’d find another ride, I was sure. He told me he wanted to drive me to my home because it was no night and no place for a young girl to be hitching a ride.
I said I couldn’t believe he was really willing to make a six-hour round trip journey for a stranger he found on the side of the highway. And he told me to just remember this kindness and some day to pass it forward. That was in 1991. I can assure you I’ve passed on the favor and I always think of that stranger every single time.
There are many of us who have our Amazon Wish Lists posted on our blogs. I have never even been quite sure why we do this except perhaps that we’re hoping for some kind gesture from a stranger or friend. Someone who feels like casting a random act of kindness our way in the form of a treasure mined from those lists. I will admit that when I was a working girl, I used to go randomly searching for these Amazon lists and would send a stranger a gift. Just something small, nothing extravagant. Every month I’d try to choose one or two folks who would get a surprise in their mailbox. A gesture of kindness from a stranger. A sign that nice things can happen for absolutely no reason at all.
Yesterday I got an email from Burt. Burt is a reader of my blog. Of course, I didn’t know this until yesterday. It seems that Burt likes to read my blog for its consistently upbeat and optimistic view of life. (Burt is very kind to say such nice things and I think it helps that I tend to be overly optimistic even in the direst of circumstances). Anyway, Burt had a look at my Amazon wish list and noticed a book there from Nick Bantock that is a continuation of the Griffin and Sabine series. Burt didn’t realize that Nick has chosen to continue them. Out of what I consider both true kindness and generosity, he purchased the book for me for my birthday.
Having done that for others, I know how good it feels. I must share that being on the receiving end feels pretty awesome, as well. Really awesome.
The kindness of strangers is a wonderful thing. If you have the opportunity, pass it on.
