My Dearest, dearest Brad,
I just wanted to write you to tell you how absolutely moist I became when I learned about your recent breakup with that washed up TV star, Jennifer Aniston. She obviously doesn't go downtown or maybe it's her stupid "friends" that caused the breakup. No matter how lonely you are right now, it will get better, I promise. Especially if you call me immediately. If you ever need a late night booty call I would be there for you. I realize we've never actually met, but I promise you, I've seen all your movies and stalked you at least three times. If you're curious about me, I'm disease free, and love to get all naked and, you know... and I can't stand mindgames. By the way, I absolutely loved you so much in Ocean's Twelve and I think you DEFINITELY should have won an Academy Award for your work in Snatch -- I'm serious!. I know I'm just three anonymous holes to explore but sometimes its helpful to have a naked girl who can make you laugh. We can make fun of David Schwimmer whereever and whenever you want. I will listen to you and not steal money from your wallet and maybe I can eventually become your lover. I wish you nothing but my legs wrapped around your neck.
Tie me up,
nakedjen
PS: Please say thanks for last night to George Clooney.
PPS: Oh yeah, and I also have this friend stephanie and she loves to have threesomes and also wouldn't mind making you feel better.
To send Brad your own love letter, go here. Come on, you know you want to.
And Steven Tyler is separating from his wife. I suppose we should all send him a letter, too.
Dear Steven,
I have an idea of some things you could do with that mouth....
