my youngest sister, halfnakedrobin, sent me a package. i received it today. seventeen years ago, shortly after clyde came whirling into my life, i left colorado in a whirlwind of my own and landed on my own mother's doorstep in washington, dc. me and my puppy and little else. the clothes on my back. i was thankful that my mom had a house where i could, in fact, land.
my sister, halfnakedrobin, was living there at the time in the english basement apartment that is part of my mother's townhouse. she had recently graduated from college. in fact, clyde went to her college graduation in north carolina. he even waltzed across the stage with the graduates and paused to ask for a diploma before running off and narrowly escaping the big gruff security guys. that dog.
anyway, after graduation, halfnakedrobin left north carolina and came and took over the apartment in mom's basement. and then i arrived from colorado. and announced that i was going to liver there, too. halfnakedrobin was not at all happy about this arrangement, but because she's the YOUNGER sister, she had to go along with it. before you go saying, "poor halfnakedrobin" do not feel too sorry for her. she has always been our mother's most favored child and has had her share of many blessings. and clyde and i needed a place to crash, man. it was there or the streets and the streets wouldn't come until much later.
now let's remember that clyde was a puppy. a tasmanian devil puppy. a whirling dirvish puppy of fur and teeth and unbridled energy. a puppy who for some reason could discern which shoes belonged to halfnakedrobin and which shoes belonged to nakedjen. maybe it was because my shoes were all from england and were made of expensive leather. or maybe it was because halfnakedrobin's shoes were not. but in any case, clyde seemed to get lots of joy out of choosing one of halfnakedrobin's favorite shoes and chewing it into one inch by one inch pieces. always her shoes. never my shoes.
the thing is, halfnakedrobin is just as much a dog lover as i am. really and truly. she loves dogs with every fiber of her being. but clyde knew that she wasn't his. and never would be. and neither were her shoes.
so a package came today. for me. from halfnakedrobin. inside? one seventeen year old half eaten shoe. complete with clyde teeth marks. lots of clyde teeth marks. the note from halfnakedrobin said that she thought it would make me laugh. it made me gasp. there was still so much of the young whirling nutso clyde in that shoe. halfnakedrobin suggested that i get it bronzed. which i think i might. for now, it's sitting on clyde's altar. next to his ashes. with his tennis ball. a tribute to all that he was and still is.
halfnakedrobin also included a CD. music by jack johnson called "in between dreams". she said that she always used to sing to her own dog, lucy (who tragically died two years ago) every morning. halfnakedrobin never noticed it, but her housemates always did and that's how they knew exactly how much she loved lu,lu,lucy. she heard the song "better together" from this CD and the minute she heard it she thought of her morning walks with lucy and knew she would have sung that song to her dog. it also made halfnakedrobin think of me. and clyde. and how much the two of us shared and our own morning walks together. for hours.
there was another song on the CD, though, that really, really struck me. truly. to the core. better together is a happy song and i love it. but this song, "if i could" just hit me in the heart. and to my core. as i doula i witness life being born all the time. and in my work as an herbalist and healer, i see life slip away. one goes out. one comes in.
i wish i could somehow link the mp3 for you here. it's an amazing song. halfnakedrobin had no idea when she sent me that package just how deeply she'd touch me. or maybe she did. the shoe made me cry. but the music? it will always make me smile.
p.s. halfnakedrobin reads nakedjen. thank you, dear sweet sister. you made me both laugh and cry today and love you more than ever.
