nakedjen

The L O N G Stop

This is not the first time I have done a road trip.  Not by a long shot.  It’s a well-known fact that I spent most of my twenties on the road going somewhere quickly in pursuit of those forever young hippies that comprised the Grateful Dead.  Which meant that I was taking whatever car was available (and HalfNakedRobin has a story all her own about my taking “her” car on a road trip and leaving it in a corn field somewhere in Indiana never to be seen again), tossing in a tent and backpack with whatever belongings felt “important” at the time, making sure that the dog had what he needed and that I had enough spare change to at least get me to the next show. 

There were times when the distances between the shows was rather short and didn’t require much more than a stop for gas and the paying a few tolls along some turnpike or another.  But there were other times, and these were far more frequent, when getting to the next show meant driving for 17 hours straight or else you just might not find your free miracle ticket in the parking lot, have enough time to sell your famous organic vegan chocolate chip cookies before the gates opened or, gasp, miss the first song!  Missing the first song of the show wasn’t the most unforgivable sin in the deadhead world (missing the show all together when you had managed to get your poor battered car to the parking lot and just, somehow, had not been able to score a ticket was, perhaps, the worst possible sin and while I am proud to say that I never committed that particular sin, I have committed enough sins in my lifetime to just be ever so grateful that I have NeverNakedBeth the Mormon standing in my corner to assure that should I go to hell, I not only will enjoy the ride, but will also have quite a marvelous time with all my friends once I arrive), but you surely didn’t want to spend 17 hours driving non-stop just to arrive and then miss the first song.  No, it just wasn't supposed to happen that way.

While doing all that road tripping around America (and Europe and Canada, too) following that particular band of gypsies, I often was joined by my naked brother in all things fun and fanciful, NakedIan.  I have written about NakedIan before, but for those of you who are knew to the NakedJen world, NakedIan is one of my very bestest friends.  Our friendship began quite by accident back in 1988 outside the Greek Theatre in Berkeley when an innocent NakedJen wasn’t even really known as NakedJen, but instead was known as Jennifurri and was wandering around after the show selling ashtrays.  Yes, ashtrays.   I know, disgusting.  And I wasn’t even selling them for myself.  But for my friend who had made them and was using the money to support himself while on tour. 

So there I was.  Carting around these ashtrays.  Trying to sell them for $5.00 a piece.  And there was NakedIan.  Selling wooden cherry crates.  That he had gotten for free from a co-op.  He was selling them as “tape” boxes.  To hold all your tapes of the shows.  We chatted and he asked if I wanted to trade.  An ashtray for a box.  I said sure.  And that was that.

NakedIan and I have often road tripped together.  And he has this tradition of having short stops and one very L O N G stop.  The short stops are for gas.  For peeing.  For grabbing more candy.  But the long stops usually involve a Denny’s restaurant and include sitting down and ordering a meal.  And they can take a really L O N G time.  I used to giggle when we’d be traveling together, set on getting ourselves to the next show in record time and the question would pop from the back seat, “Can we make this our L O N G stop?”  It became a joke between us.  The L O N G stop.  When were we going to take the L O N G stop?  How soon until the L O N G stop?  Let’s make sure we stop at Denny’s for the L O N G stop! 

I explained all of this L O N G stop business to Wendee as we were driving across America, but as NakedIan was not along for the ride there really were no L O N G stops.  Just were not happening.  Pee breaks and gas fill-ups were it.  The show was starting and we were not going to miss the first song! 

Until we reached Nashville.  And then, BLESSED BE TO THE HEAVENS AND ALL THINGS NAKED, I GOT MY L O N G STOP!

Nashville is the home of my good imaginary friends, Emily and Brett and Yvonne and Pinky and Michelle.  I’ve mentioned these imaginary friends before on NakedJen.  I visited all of them last October when I flew to Nashville to see Yvonne perform in Beauty and the Beast.  I thought that I wasn’t going to get to see them at all this time around as when I was planning my road trip it seemed that my timing was slightly off and none of them would actually be in town when I was going to be able to visit. 

However, my luck changed and as we passed through Nashville I bailed from the little red Honda and landed safely in the warm and welcoming environs of Emily and Brett’s house where I proceeded to just make myself right at home as if I was moving in for good.  LONG STOP, indeed.  I spent the afternoon seeing Yvonne perform in another play, Faith County.  While I was a bit aghast at some of the playwright’s artistic licenses and what he considered “funny”, Yvonne was still absolutely fabulous and it just makes me so happy when I get to see her do what she does so very well.   Em and Brett and Pinky and Yvonne and I all had dinner and dessert together that evening and then Em and Brett were the ultimate hosts and made my LONG STOP even more enjoyable by taking me to downtown Nashville in search of tacky tourist tchokes and a walk down Printer’s Alley. 

I crashed hard into bed in the lovely purple bedroom and was oh so veryveryvery grateful that these imaginary friends of mine allowed me to just call from the roaring road and announce that I was making them my EXTRA LONG STOP.  Those are, indeed, the very best imaginary friends a girl can ever hope to have. 

I continued the EXTRA LONG STOP into the next day by inviting myself to stay for Em and Brett’s Memorial Day picnic.  I will admit to only making myself somewhat useful BY RISKING MY VERY LIFE with the cutting of avocados for guacamole (let’s not forget that NakedJen is deathly allergic to avocados) and a trip to the grocery store for jalapeño peppers and butter.   Many wonderful lovely people arrived and brought with them copious amounts of food and there was badminton and croquet and sangria and sunshine and good times and in the middle of all of it my VERY EXTRA LONG STOP had to sadly come to an end.  I had to go.  The first song was about to start, I had to find my miracle ticket and I certainly didn’t want to miss the show!  Actually, I was due to hook back up with Wendee and the red car for some more of our fabulous road trip.  A L O N G stop can only last for so long before it’s time to ramble on.  And that’s just what I’m doing.  Rambling on. 

Turn! Turn! You Blew It!

It's Friday.  I hope that you have a wonderful Naked one.  Wherever you are.  Obviously, I did. 

Driving Naked Across America 2005

And so the advenuture begins. 

My assignment:  To travel these United States on the route shown (and yes, that really is the route) and get as many lovelies as I can to pose for "naked" photos with yours truly. 

I also have to keep myself out of jail and manage to rely on the kindness of lots of strangers along the way as this trip is very much like those days of old and my pockets are practically empty.

Your assignment, dear readers, should you wish to accept it:  If you happen to live along that blue line shown on the map, it would make NakedJen a very happy naked hippy girl if you would be so kind as to pose with her for a photo for her blog.  You certainly do NOT have to be naked, but wow, now wouldn't that be something?  However, in reality, I don't expect that there are many of you who will want to actually bare all for the Internet.  But maybe you'd like to just show your beautiful faces while I stand beside you?  Perhaps? 

A girl can hope.

I leave today.  I will be gone until June 23 when I'll finally return to Santa Cruz.  I am taking the laptop and camera, of course, and will update from the road when I'm able to find internet access. 

I hope to meet many of you along the way and know that there are more than some of you that I will surely see for the things that only YOU can give me to fill my very soul.  More on that later. 

Right now, it's time to get this grand adventure started!

Let's Get the Mayo Off the Page, Shall We?

For your organic enjoyment.  Since that movie is coming out today, I really couldn't resist the force now could I?

Does it bother anyone else, but me, that the folks at Mars are now selling "dark side" M&M's?  I'm all for dark chocolate anything, but do we want kids purposefully choosing and associating themselves with the evil dark side? 

Think about it. 

A Thousand Thank You's

Every single one of you, and you know who you are, who wrote to the folks at innocent and asked them to please hire nakedjen, thank you.  A thousand times, thank you.  You did a very good job of making quite the impression on them.  According to the folks at innocent, I have a lot of fans.  If I could, I'd send each and every one you a very special hand-written nakedjen thank you card. 

It wasn't meant to be, however.  I received the following from innocent today.

Hello Jennifer,

It is not often that we get someone apply for a role here who has gone to as much trouble with an application as you have (oh yes, the hire NakedJen emails are still being sent to us), so thank you - we appreciate it.

We have had a huge response to our search and have now had a good look through the CV’s that have come in. We know this isn’t nice to hear, but unfortunately your application wasn’t successful this time around. 

You have amazing experience and we are sure you would fit in really well at innocent, unfortunately we think you may have a little too much experience for this role and it wouldn't give you the challenge you desire.

Sorry we can't take your application any further at this time.  Don't give up on us though, we are a growing company and the right role may come up in the future.

You should expect a little package from us over the next week as a little thank you for your efforts.

Good luck with everything and keep up the good work - your blog's great.

Bye for now

Bronwyn

So what does this mean?  Well, it simply means that I will not be moving to London any time soon (bummer), DearSweetDave and I will get to stay in Santa Cruz and continue to enjoy the good life (who wants to leave Santa Cruz, anyway?) and I will put all my love and more love and did I mention love? into making Dreamsweet Organic Medicinal Teas the best little tea company on the planet. 

What I was going to do for innocent, I'll just do for myself.  I know the rewards will be even greater.

HUGE NAKEDJEN THANKS to you all.  You really are the best blog fans a crazy naked girl could ever hope to have.

There's A Blog Entry In There Somewhere

08-27-72 Old Renaissance Faire Grounds, Veneta, Or.  (Sun)

1: Promised, Sugaree, Me & My Uncle, Deal, B. T. Wind, China Cat> I Know You Rider, Mexicali, Bertha

2: Playin, He's Gone, Jack Straw, Bird Song, Greatest

3: Dark Star> El Paso, Sing Me Back Home, Sugar Magnolia, Casey Jones, Saturday Night

Springfield Creamery benefit - "Field Trip" - also: NRPS

That's the setlist from the Grateful Dead's concert at what was to become the parking lot for the Oregon Country Fair.  Before there was a fair.  But there were still lots of naked hippies.  I saw them all tonight in a film called Sunshine Daydream.  It was the final filmed screened at the Santa Cruz Film Festival.  The guy who shot it claimed that he had used most of the film footage that he had and that very little editing had been done.  I believe him.  What I couldn't believe and had to really verify was that my dear sweet Dead would really and truly choose to be playing an etheral and trippy and out there song like Dark Star and somehow wind their way around to Bobby standing at the mike and belting out El Paso without ever missing a note or a beat or well, even a sideways glance at one another that Texas was the next stop on the journey. 

Contemplating this after the film tonight, I remarked to DearSweetDave (who has never been to a Grateful Dead concert in his life...the mystery of how I ended up with a non deadhead husband will have to be left to science to solve) that they must have chosen to edit the film that way.  It just wasn't plausible to me that the Dead would really go from Dark Star into El Paso all in the same breath. 

DearSweetDave laughed at me.  And when I pressed him as to why, he remarked that he found it funny that someone could possibly care whether the band had actually played El Paso after Dark Star at a concert in a field that happened over 30 years ago.

DearSweetDave is both dear and sweet, but what he is not, quite obviously, is a deadhead.  This is important knowledge people.  And now, all of you know, as well.  It is true.  On that hot sunny electrified afternoon in Veneta, the Grateful Dead did, in fact, play Dark Star into El Paso. 

And this naked hippy is very sad that she missed it.

Innocent NakedJen

Dear sweet Nakedjen fans and friends.  I have a request.  It is a rather simple request, but it will require you to actually write and send an email, so I hope that there are some of you out there who will be willing to put fingers to keys and help a naked girl out.

I have written about Innocent Juices on this site before.  They are this absolutely fabulous little (or not so little anymore) juice company based in London (although there are now offices in Paris and Amsterdam..they're just growing by leaps and bounds) that I fell in love with six years ago when I was still wearing my global marketing director hat and was spending 3 of every 4 weeks holed up at myhotel in Bloomsbury.  The brilliant folks at Innocent had stocked the library at myhotel with their cranberry raspberry smoothie and more than any other reason it was for this reason alone that I kept booking myself back at that very hotel. 

As many of you know, I am a girl who takes a lot of vitamins.  And I'm also quite picky about the juice I drink every morning to take that cadre of vitamins.  It has to be 100% pure. No additives.  No concentrate.  No sugars.  Just pure juice.  So you all can just imagine the sheer joy and excitement I felt when I discovered those perfect little bottles tucked into the refrigerator of the library at myhotel.  I was certain the folks at Innocent were putting something addictive in those juices because after drinking just one, I found myself hoarding them.  Taking two and three up to the hotel room just to be sure I would have enough on hand to get me through the day.  I'd practically empty the refrigerator of all flavors each morning and take them with me to the offices up in Watford each day and pass them out to my staff who were more than appreciative and soon just as hooked as I was.

Regular readers of this blog also know that eventually I decided to leave that particular software company.  I went to work for another, but as its focus was desktop video conferencing, there was a lot less need for travel and my trips to the UK became less and less frequent.  I missed those juices.  I wrote to the dear folks in Fruit Towers and begged them to send them to Santa Cruz.  Unfortunately for me, the juices are just too fresh and not up to the task of such a long journey. 

So, I have sat in Santa Cruz and complained, loudly, about Odwalla juices not being good enough and have told anyone and everyone I know who lives anywhere near a cow van to not only drink Innocent, but to give it to all their friends and neighbors, as well. 

Occasionally, I've sent them along my CV.  In the past, It has been a rather half-hearted effort on my part, I'll admit, because of Clyde.  While my desire for a job with those out-of-the-box thinkers at Fruit Towers has always been more than keen, getting old Mr. C into the UK would have been more than troublesome and I never really knew if a job there was worth turning his life upside down.

But now?  Now, as we know, Clyde is a Clydefairy.  He has wings of his own and is free to come along if he'd like.  We all know that I have spent the last eighteen months concentrating all my efforts on becoming a holistic healer and naturopath and yes, I've even launched my own medicinal tea business.  And all of that is going more than well.  It's going better than I could have expected.

So why am I still pestering the folks at Innocent about a job?  Well, quite frankly, because it makes me excited.  They posted a job this week that is a perfect fit for a person exactly like me.  As I mentioned, I absolutely, positively love their juices.  I believe in them and their philosophy.  If I'm going to work for anyone else on the planet besides me, it should be the folks who call Fruit Towers home.

They're thinking, right this minute, about new directions to take the company.  Baby Food?  Body Products?  I personally think that going organic and adding in medicinal herbs to some of their offerings to give them added health benefits could be very beneficial for them.  I know organics are more expensive and less reliable as far as being able to source consistent flavour, but perhaps you make just a little bit less of the organics and you charge more.  The organics industry is a multi-billion dollar industry.  Folks are quite willing to shell out a few pence more when they know it's organic and  it tastes good and is good for them.  Innocent already has the tastes good and is good for you part in the bag.  Adding organic to the mix can only add to their bottom line.

So all of this is well and good, you're thinking, but I bet you are all wondering where you come in?  And some of you, I'm sure are saying, "London is so far away.  What about DearSweetDave, will he go too?" 

I can tell you that DearSweetDave is uber-supportive of this whole wacky adventure.  And London is not that far away.  I promise that all of you can come and visit and stay with me whenever you'd like.  That is if you'll do me this small favour. 

As the folks at Innocent are a breed apart and thus think a little differently, I thought it would be fun to not only send them my CV, but have all of you drop them a little note telling them how much you love nakedjen, that they should hire me to dance with them on the AstroTurf at Fruit Towers as their Direct Marketing Manager, and that you cross your heart and hope to die promise that should they give me the job you'll always drink Innocent juices whenever you're in London.  You can also remind them that I've already lived in London before and I've got the t-shirt, so I'm really good to go!

If you want to help Nakedjen get the job, please drop an email on my behalf to:  jobs@innocentdrinks.co.uk  In the subject line you can put:  HIRE NAKEDJEN FOR DIRECT MARKETING MANAGER and then remember to promise about the drinks! 

I know this is an unusual way to get a job.  Pointing them to my nakedjen website and asking them to take a gander certainly isn't conventional.  But have I ever been conventional?  Ever?  No, I don't think so.  And neither have the folks at Innocent Juices.  Which is why I think we're a perfect pair.

He Helps Yank The Plug, What More Can You Want?

Sometimes, when you go out to lunch with your girlfriends, the universe takes that opportunity to bonk you right over the head and remind you just how very lucky and blessed you are.  It gives you a big, fat, glaring neon sign that says, “oh yeah, baby, you can thank me now!”

Sometimes, this big, fat, glaring neon sign gets thrust at you while you’re just innocently sitting on the couch watching your favorite television show. 

Or in my case, the big, fat, glaring neon sign from the universe gets a glitch and snaps and crackles and keeps you lying awake all night as it buzzbuzzbuzzes and you wonder if unplugging it will make you seem just a tad ungrateful?

Really, it’s not as bad as all that, people.  On Sunday, DearSweetDave and I joined some of my imaginary friends for sushi at Paradise in Capitola.  Capitola is really far from Paradise, but the sushi at Paradise, let me tell you, is an experience as close to nirvana as you’re ever going to hope to find.  At this particular gathering of imaginary friends were three single women.  One of them had just recently left her husband (and we were very glad about that) and she had brought along her cute knight in shining armor for all of us to meet.  The rest of us were certainly not there to pass judgment about how quickly love had swept her away.  We just all wanted to check out his package! 

Oh and what a package it was.  Witty, smart, adorable and wrapped up complete with a Redskins bow!  What was there not to absolutely love?!  So we all sat and fawned over the new paramour and we gossiped and we chatted and we snarked about life.  Though they are imaginary, I’ve known these women for what feels like forever. 

It was while sitting there that I gazed over at DearSweetDave and realized just how very blessed I was.  Those other imaginary women, as I said, were all single.  And being single and in your 30’s just isn’t easy.  I know, I know.  It can be empowering.  Every one of them is the epitome of “I am Woman, Hear Me Roar!”  And yet I couldn’t help hearing a sense of longing and “sadness” about how they wanted something more in their life.   Our friend with her new shiny knight was exclaiming how wonderfully he treated her and how he hung pictures for her and helped her move into her apartment. The other two women just nodded along and I could tell they probably had more than a few things that they could use their own shiny knights for as well.

There, sitting next to me, was the shiniest knight of all and all I could possibly ask for in this life.  Talk about hanging pictures.  And doing things for me (or anyone really) just because that’s what people do.   DearSweetDave may make me a little bit nuts at time, but honestly, I am so very blessed to be loved and cared for by him. He completes me in so many important ways.  The most important being that he’s not at all afraid to help me yank the plug on that big, fat, buzzing neon sign from the Universe.  That thing was getting so damn annoying!