This is not the first time I have done a road trip. Not by a long shot. It’s a well-known fact that I spent most of my twenties on the road going somewhere quickly in pursuit of those forever young hippies that comprised the Grateful Dead. Which meant that I was taking whatever car was available (and HalfNakedRobin has a story all her own about my taking “her” car on a road trip and leaving it in a corn field somewhere in Indiana never to be seen again), tossing in a tent and backpack with whatever belongings felt “important” at the time, making sure that the dog had what he needed and that I had enough spare change to at least get me to the next show.
There were times when the distances between the shows was rather short and didn’t require much more than a stop for gas and the paying a few tolls along some turnpike or another. But there were other times, and these were far more frequent, when getting to the next show meant driving for 17 hours straight or else you just might not find your free miracle ticket in the parking lot, have enough time to sell your famous organic vegan chocolate chip cookies before the gates opened or, gasp, miss the first song! Missing the first song of the show wasn’t the most unforgivable sin in the deadhead world (missing the show all together when you had managed to get your poor battered car to the parking lot and just, somehow, had not been able to score a ticket was, perhaps, the worst possible sin and while I am proud to say that I never committed that particular sin, I have committed enough sins in my lifetime to just be ever so grateful that I have NeverNakedBeth the Mormon standing in my corner to assure that should I go to hell, I not only will enjoy the ride, but will also have quite a marvelous time with all my friends once I arrive), but you surely didn’t want to spend 17 hours driving non-stop just to arrive and then miss the first song. No, it just wasn't supposed to happen that way.
While doing all that road tripping around America (and Europe and Canada, too) following that particular band of gypsies, I often was joined by my naked brother in all things fun and fanciful, NakedIan. I have written about NakedIan before, but for those of you who are knew to the NakedJen world, NakedIan is one of my very bestest friends. Our friendship began quite by accident back in 1988 outside the Greek Theatre in Berkeley when an innocent NakedJen wasn’t even really known as NakedJen, but instead was known as Jennifurri and was wandering around after the show selling ashtrays. Yes, ashtrays. I know, disgusting. And I wasn’t even selling them for myself. But for my friend who had made them and was using the money to support himself while on tour.
So there I was. Carting around these ashtrays. Trying to sell them for $5.00 a piece. And there was NakedIan. Selling wooden cherry crates. That he had gotten for free from a co-op. He was selling them as “tape” boxes. To hold all your tapes of the shows. We chatted and he asked if I wanted to trade. An ashtray for a box. I said sure. And that was that.
NakedIan and I have often road tripped together. And he has this tradition of having short stops and one very L O N G stop. The short stops are for gas. For peeing. For grabbing more candy. But the long stops usually involve a Denny’s restaurant and include sitting down and ordering a meal. And they can take a really L O N G time. I used to giggle when we’d be traveling together, set on getting ourselves to the next show in record time and the question would pop from the back seat, “Can we make this our L O N G stop?” It became a joke between us. The L O N G stop. When were we going to take the L O N G stop? How soon until the L O N G stop? Let’s make sure we stop at Denny’s for the L O N G stop!
I explained all of this L O N G stop business to Wendee as we were driving across America, but as NakedIan was not along for the ride there really were no L O N G stops. Just were not happening. Pee breaks and gas fill-ups were it. The show was starting and we were not going to miss the first song!
Until we reached Nashville. And then, BLESSED BE TO THE HEAVENS AND ALL THINGS NAKED, I GOT MY L O N G STOP!
Nashville is the home of my good imaginary friends, Emily and Brett and Yvonne and Pinky and Michelle. I’ve mentioned these imaginary friends before on NakedJen. I visited all of them last October when I flew to Nashville to see Yvonne perform in Beauty and the Beast. I thought that I wasn’t going to get to see them at all this time around as when I was planning my road trip it seemed that my timing was slightly off and none of them would actually be in town when I was going to be able to visit.
However, my luck changed and as we passed through Nashville I bailed from the little red Honda and landed safely in the warm and welcoming environs of Emily and Brett’s house where I proceeded to just make myself right at home as if I was moving in for good. LONG STOP, indeed. I spent the afternoon seeing Yvonne perform in another play, Faith County. While I was a bit aghast at some of the playwright’s artistic licenses and what he considered “funny”, Yvonne was still absolutely fabulous and it just makes me so happy when I get to see her do what she does so very well. 
Em and Brett and Pinky and Yvonne and I all had dinner and dessert together that evening and then Em and Brett were the ultimate hosts and made my LONG STOP even more enjoyable by taking me to downtown Nashville in search of tacky tourist tchokes and a walk down Printer’s Alley. 
I crashed hard into bed in the lovely purple bedroom and was oh so veryveryvery grateful that these imaginary friends of mine allowed me to just call from the roaring road and announce that I was making them my EXTRA LONG STOP. Those are, indeed, the very best imaginary friends a girl can ever hope to have.
I continued the EXTRA LONG STOP into the next day by inviting myself to stay for Em and Brett’s Memorial Day picnic. I will admit to only making myself somewhat useful BY RISKING MY VERY LIFE with the cutting of avocados for guacamole (let’s not forget that NakedJen is deathly allergic to avocados) and a trip to the grocery store for jalapeño peppers and butter. Many wonderful lovely people arrived and brought with them copious amounts of food and there was badminton and croquet and sangria and sunshine and good times and in the middle of all of it my VERY EXTRA LONG STOP had to sadly come to an end. I had to go. The first song was about to start, I had to find my miracle ticket and I certainly didn’t want to miss the show! Actually, I was due to hook back up with Wendee and the red car for some more of our fabulous road trip. A L O N G stop can only last for so long before it’s time to ramble on. And that’s just what I’m doing. Rambling on.
