Let's review the NakedJen Adventure thus far, shall we?
I left Santa Cruz in May. May! Accompanied by none other than the dear sweet ClydeFairy. Who promised to protect me on all my travels and make sure that no harm would come to me no matter where I roamed. I think I should have mentioned that I needed EMOTIONAL protection as well as physical protection. Clyde will work on that for next time.
First stop, Las Vegas. Where I helped dear Wendee and Randee pack up their belongings and we loaded in the car with the beautiful Sasha and headed East. The roaring of I-40 became our song and the search for drinkable coffee became our quest. I kept finding all kinds of places that would be fabulous for naked pictures, but the tires just kept on rolling and we only stopped once.
Though she missed the turn and almost blew it, we did, in fact, make a stop at the Cadillac Graveyard. Where one of us got naked. But as we've already documented that for the masses, here's another view. A picture of my lovely traveling companions.
We finally reached Tennessee and I got doused with love by Em and Brett and Yvonne and Pinky during my long stop in Nashville. Good coffee and organic food were some of my bounty. As well as the most interesting of Rebel Flag statues that I just had to purchase in order to complete one of my challenges for the Amazing Race. From Nashville, I drove on to Knoxville, where I joined back up with Wonder Wendee and Sasha. 
Then it was on to Disney World. Where while standing in line for the Haunted Mansion, I learned of the demise of Dear Sweet Dave. While it's been reported that I spent my time at Disney World on small child overload and finding all sorts of ways to annoy the other patrons, I really was on quite good behavior and that poetic license was taken not only with the reporting, but also with one of the photographs.
Then it was on to North Carolina. To sister Robin's house. Where I was surprised to find my father, Albert. Albert and I created fireworks of our own, much larger than any of those exploding in the Disney skies at night. I found myself at one point abandoned on the side of a highway in the pouring rain on my cellphone to DearSweetDave contemplating how to get myself back to Santa Cruz. This certainly was not the Naked Adventure I had signed up for. I wanted that Adventure back, please. I think those three days in North Carolina were the LONGEST three days of this entire trip. They lasted my entire lifetime.
From North Carolina to our Nation's Capitol. Home to NakedMom and more right wing conservatives than I ever care to count. That photo was taken on the road right in front of NakedMom's house (good guesses everyone). The air-conditioning was NOT working at NakedMom's house and the temps in DC were over the 100 mark. I spent a lot of days really MISSING Santa Cruz and MISSING DearSweetDave even more. I contemplated shaving my head again I was so hot, got used to the sweat pooling between my breasts and tried to convince everyone that naked really was the best way to go when the thermometer and humidity were making it feel like the sub Sahara.
I escaped from the heat and humidity to more heat and humidity in NYC. After squeezing Bakerina and Bunni and touching and tasting everything Lush had to offer as well as soaking in all the goodness that those two women just effuse, I was off to Pleasantville. A long overdue visit was in order with Lydia, she of the infamous and glorious boobs. We hugged, we laughed, we shared long conversations until way too early in the morning. And I experienced the life of "desperate housewives" in suburbia NY. Life in suburbia certainly is grand.
Monday found me back in NYC. In the very good company of D. Who made sure that I had the time of my life complete with the absolute largest frozen hot chocolate I assure you I have ever consumed. And I can also assure you that I consumed the whole thing. It was the ONLY thing that really soothed my aching heart over the demise of the Plaza Hotel. Really, it was. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I came back to DC for a couple days. Had lunch with my bestest friend Elizabeth. Did some retail therapy in Georgetown. Relished in the coolness of my mother's home which now had an air conditioner that worked! Then I hopped in a rental car and drove to Richmond, Virginia. Home of confederate statues. Also home to Kristy and Adam. And their beloved dog, Sassy (Maggie). My stay with them was like staying at a luxurious bed and breakfast, only even better. Where else in America, in all my travels, did I go where I was greeted as I walked in the door with a freshly prepared 100% organic meal? Where there was Santa Cruz Organic Cranberry juice in the refrigerator for my cadre of vitamins? Where I even had organic cream for my coffee? People, I told them I was moving in. Life in Santa Cruz is not even that good. If I had not had the promise of Dear SweetDave waiting for me at the airport, I think I would still be there.
FINALLY! Yes, finally. After what felt like three lifetimes, DearSweetDave arrived on Friday from sunny Santa Cruz. I scooped him up at the Dulles Airport (but not before having a bit of trauma as I took the wrong exit on Friday in rush hour traffic and if you haven't experienced DC Metro area rush hour traffic, darling, you just haven't lived) and we were off to Pennsylvania for the bat mitzvah to beat all bat mitzvah's. Honestly, this was a party like none other. His cousin read the Torah, we all sang praise, and then danced the night away swirling about in fuzzy hats and feather boas. It was a lovely celebration and the rest of the weekend didn't suck, either. In fact, it started off really well as the moment we arrived at the hotel I was informed that I had been chosen "The Most Fashionable" guest of the day and we were upgraded to a suite complete with complimentary everything! Breakfast, movie, wine and cheese. While it still couldn't compare to the Richmond hospitality, they were definitely trying and this time I had DearSweetDave with me. So things were bound to be good. And let me just say, they were very good indeed.
We're now back in our Nation's Capitol one last time. Visiting with my relatives and loads of my oldest and dearest friends. I've dragged DearSweetDave all over town showing him my old haunts and even took him to show him Clyde's fountains of his infamous "fountain trick". DearSweetDave was kind of shocked at just how very large those fountains really were. Gave him a whole new appreciation for Clyde's athleticism.
We will go back to Santa Cruz on Thursday afternoon and bring this Naked Adventure to an end. We have lots of other adventures planned for the summer, however. This was just the kick-off party. There's loads more fun in store. Loads. You can be sure of that. Cross my naked heart.
