nakedjen

Last Dance With Mary Jane

Ext. Charlie Hong Kong, an Organic Asian Street Food eatery in Santa Cruz.

It's about 7:30 at night.  NakedJen and DearSweetDave have chosen to sit at one of the big wooden tables outside because the inside seats are all teaming with screaming children.  Screaming at pitches that could crack glass.  DearSweetDave is still wearing his clothes from the office.  NakedJen is dressed in her workout gear.  She hasn't showered today.  DearSweetDave is reading the Good Times paper.

DearSweetDave

Is Mary Jane slang for marijuana?

NakedJen

You’re joking, right?

DearSweetDave

No, but I guess that means that it is.

NakedJen

You obviously never hung out with the stoner crowd.  How could you not know that?

DearSweetDave

Nope.  I just never knew. 
I guess that puts a whole new meaning on that Tom Petty Song?

NakedJen

You honestly didn’t know what that song was about??

DearSweetDave

I always thought it was just about some girl named Mary Jane.

NakedJen

I am so blogging about this when I get home!

(See?  I learn something new about my husband every single day!  That keeps the marriage very interesting).

Forever Times Infinity

Forever times infinity,
My life to yours entwined,
As we embrace life's challenges
And hand in hand our futures find.

I'll care for you and help you grow
And learn from all you do and say,
And laughter will become our song,
And joy and tears our poetry.

Forever times infinity,
We'll join together in this dance,
A dance of possibilities,
Of dreams fulfilled and true romance.

And though we know not what's in store,
I pledge my heart will always be,
To you, my love, an open door,
Forever times infinity, and more.

Five years ago today I promised to always wear my seat belt when I drove and to love DearSweetDave forever times infinity. 

If he asked me today to marry him, I have to honestly say that I would say absolutely yes with even more joy and conviction and happiness than I did when he did the first time.

He really does both complement me and compliment me.  And yes, he does complete me, too. 

Happy Anniversary, Dave.  Always will.  Forever times infinity.

NakedJen for Congress!

Dave and I flew home last night to Santa Cruz and I'm back at the cafe this morning doing the writing thing and relishing all that is Santa Cruz.  It's foggy.  It's cool.  The people who keep Santa Cruz weird are all out and about doing their morning thing.  It's definitely good to be home.  While I was in DC, I actually flirted with the idea that we would move to Adams Morgan.  Ha!  As soon as I got home last night I realized how absolutely ridiculous that idea was.  My heart and soul belong in Santa Cruz.  With the ocean and the patchouli smells wafting down the sidewalk.  With organic food literally on my doorstep (my neighbor (hi Kath) reads my blog and left us organic strawberries on our door step as a welcome home present last night).  With two independent movie theaters two blocks from my house playing my fill of good Sundance-type movies.

My biggest sadness last night was walking into my house and not having Clyde there to greet me.  I reallyreallyreally felt his absence last night.  I think I some how tricked myself into believing that he was "here" while I was away on my travels.  And yet, I felt his energy when I walked in.  Kind of odd.  Kind of upsetting.  Kind of comforting.  I am definitely still really missing him.  And some day I will get another dog, but we're so busy traveling that now still isn't the right time.  We leave in ten days for the Oregon Country Fair and then right after that go to Newport, RI.  And then I'm in LA and then Maui.  And then I go back to Tennessee to be the doula for the grand arrival of "babynaked".  Plus we're going to Wisconsin and Chicago somewhere in there.  Craziness.  We're also both trying to volunteer again for Sundance for January, so maybe by February I'll be ready to get another dog.  And maybe, just maybe, by then I won't feel this huge gaping hole in my heart and soul so much.  A naked girl can hope.  It may be that hole just never goes away.

So, now that I’m back in Santa Cruz, home where I belong, my primary focus is getting the word out about Dreamsweet Organic Medicinals and doing some guerrilla marketing.  One really fun idea that has percolated up is to have "tea" parties.  These would be kind of like Pampered Chef or Tupperware parties, but would instead focus on holistic health. 

The way I envision a Dreamsweet Tea Party is that I would serve a variety of the teas (and possibly some Clyde’s Cookies and other lovely delicious treats) and would also give a brief talk about holistic health and how it can complement your regular medical care as well as possibly help to give you optimum health by supporting your body's own capability to heal itself.  Not preachy, just informational.  And the host or hostess of the "party" would get a free consultation and Individualitea for either themselves or anyone they choose.

I really think this could be a great way to get the word out and to get it to people who might otherwise not know about how this all works and just how beneficial it can be.  I know just from my travels in the last month (I had three of my teas with me) that a lot of folks were more convinced of the benefits after actually chatting with me face to face and trying the teas for themselves than just by looking at the web site.

If I can get enough parties scheduled in any particular area of the country (or world for that matter), I can also travel where ever.  I'm trying right now to put together some parties locally and in Los Angeles to see how they "fly", but, again, I really think this can be a nice way to get the message out.  We'll see.  If you’re interested in hosting a party, please do not hesitate to contact me.  I’m thinking I’ll create a fun “Dreamsweet Tea Party Package” that I can mail to folks so that they have everything they need to host a party and, of course, I’ll come and press the flesh.  Why I’d even do it naked if someone asked me to! 

So that’s the news for Friday.  It is naked Friday, today, and that picture I’ve shared is 100% genuine.  I really wanted to take pictures with all the national monuments while I was in DC (especially the White House), but let me tell you that DC is a whole new place since 9/11.  Gah.  I have never seen so many special police officers in all my life.  And the Washington Monument is “under renovation” and I couldn’t even get near it.  Boo.  I felt kind of sacrilegious taking a naked picture at the Lincoln Memorial as well as any of the War Veterans Memorials, but the Capitol.  No problem, obviously.  Although, as soon as we took this photo we noticed that the special police for the Capitol had taken notice of us and we abandoned our thoughts that taking a picture on the actual steps of the Capitol would be a good idea.

I hope wherever you are, every one of you spends just a little time getting naked yourselves today.  I’m so happy to be back in Santa Cruz, land of unabashed nakedness, that I may just spend my entire day naked.  With the sand between my toes and the ocean crashing at my feet. Santa Cruz is a wonderful place to be.  Patchouli smells and all.

Finally, DearSweetDave Joins The Party!

Let's review the NakedJen Adventure thus far, shall we?

I left Santa Cruz in May.  May!  Accompanied by none other than the dear sweet ClydeFairy.  Who promised to protect me on all my travels and make sure that no harm would come to me no matter where I roamed.  I think I should have mentioned that I needed EMOTIONAL protection as well as physical protection.  Clyde will work on that for next time.

First stop, Las Vegas.  Where I helped dear Wendee and Randee pack up their belongings and we loaded in the car with the beautiful Sasha and headed East.  The roaring of I-40 became our song and the search for drinkable coffee became our quest.  I kept finding all kinds of places that would be fabulous for naked pictures, but the tires just kept on rolling and we only stopped once.

Though she missed the turn and almost blew it, we did, in fact, make a stop at the Cadillac Graveyard.  Where one of us got naked.  But as we've already documented that for the masses, here's another view.  A picture of my lovely traveling companions. 

We finally reached Tennessee and I got doused with love by Em and Brett and Yvonne and Pinky during my long stop in Nashville.  Good coffee and organic food were some of my bounty.  As well as the most interesting of Rebel Flag statues that I just had to purchase in order to complete one of my challenges for the Amazing Race.  From Nashville, I drove on to Knoxville, where I joined back up with Wonder Wendee and Sasha. 

Then it was on to Disney World.  Where while standing in line for the Haunted Mansion, I learned of the demise of Dear Sweet Dave.  While it's been reported that I spent my time at Disney World on small child overload and finding all sorts of ways to annoy the other patrons, I really was on quite good behavior and that poetic license was taken not only with the reporting, but also with one of the photographs.

Then it was on to North Carolina.  To sister Robin's house.  Where I was surprised to find my father, Albert.  Albert and I created fireworks of our own, much larger than any of those exploding in the Disney skies at night.  I found myself at one point abandoned on the side of a highway in the pouring rain on my cellphone to DearSweetDave contemplating how to get myself back to Santa Cruz.  This certainly was not the Naked Adventure I had signed up for.  I wanted that Adventure back, please.  I think those three days in North Carolina were the LONGEST three days of this entire trip.  They lasted my entire lifetime.

From North Carolina to our Nation's Capitol.  Home to NakedMom and more right wing conservatives than I ever care to count.  That photo was taken on the road right in front of NakedMom's house (good guesses everyone).  The air-conditioning was NOT working at NakedMom's house and the temps in DC were over the 100  mark.  I spent a lot of days really MISSING Santa Cruz and MISSING DearSweetDave even more.  I contemplated shaving my head again I was so hot, got used to the sweat pooling between my breasts and tried to convince everyone that naked really was the best way to go when the thermometer and humidity were making it feel like the sub Sahara.

I escaped from the heat and humidity to more heat and humidity in NYC.  After squeezing Bakerina and Bunni and touching and tasting everything Lush had to offer as well as soaking in all the goodness that those two women just effuse, I was off to Pleasantville.  A long overdue visit was in order with Lydia, she of the infamous and glorious boobs.  We hugged, we laughed, we shared long conversations until way too early in the morning.  And I experienced the life of "desperate housewives" in suburbia NY.  Life in suburbia certainly is grand.

Monday found me back in NYC.  In the very good company of D.  Who made sure that I had the time of my life complete with the absolute largest frozen hot chocolate I assure you I have ever consumed.  And I can also assure you that I consumed the whole thing.  It was the ONLY thing that really soothed my aching heart over the demise of the Plaza Hotel.  Really, it was.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I came back to DC for a couple days.  Had lunch with my bestest friend Elizabeth.  Did some retail therapy in Georgetown.  Relished in the coolness of my mother's home which now had an air conditioner that worked!  Then I hopped in a rental car and drove to Richmond, Virginia.  Home of confederate statues.  Also home to Kristy and Adam.  And their beloved dog, Sassy (Maggie).  My stay with them was like staying at a luxurious bed and breakfast, only even better.  Where else in America, in all my travels, did I go where I was greeted as I walked in the door with a freshly prepared 100% organic meal?  Where there was Santa Cruz Organic Cranberry juice in the refrigerator for my cadre of vitamins?  Where I even had organic cream for my coffee?  People, I told them I was moving in.  Life in Santa Cruz is not even that good.  If I had not had the promise of Dear SweetDave waiting for me at the airport, I think I would still be there.

FINALLY!  Yes, finally.  After what felt like three lifetimes, DearSweetDave arrived on Friday from sunny Santa Cruz.  I scooped him up at the Dulles Airport (but not before having a bit of trauma as I took the wrong exit on Friday in rush hour traffic and if you haven't experienced DC Metro area rush hour traffic, darling, you just haven't lived) and we were off to Pennsylvania for the bat mitzvah to beat all bat mitzvah's.  Honestly, this was a party like none other.  His cousin read the Torah, we all sang praise, and then danced the night away swirling about in fuzzy hats and feather boas.  It was a lovely celebration and the rest of the weekend didn't suck, either.  In fact, it started off really well as the moment we arrived at the hotel I was informed that I had been chosen "The Most Fashionable" guest of the day and we were upgraded to a suite complete with complimentary everything!  Breakfast, movie, wine and cheese.  While it still couldn't compare to the Richmond hospitality, they were definitely trying and this time I had DearSweetDave with me.  So things were bound to be good.  And let me just say, they were very good indeed.

We're now back in our Nation's Capitol one last time.  Visiting with my relatives and loads of my oldest and dearest friends.  I've dragged DearSweetDave all over town showing him my old haunts and even took him to show him Clyde's fountains of his infamous "fountain trick".  DearSweetDave was kind of shocked at just how very large those fountains really were.  Gave him a whole new appreciation for Clyde's athleticism. 

We will go back to Santa Cruz on Thursday afternoon and bring this Naked Adventure to an end.  We have lots of other adventures planned for the summer, however.  This was just the kick-off party.  There's loads more fun in store.  Loads.  You can be sure of that.  Cross my naked heart.

Naked Ron on Naked Monday

Sometimes, not often, I am blessed to receive naked pictures from other people.  And they tell me that it is okay for me to share those pictures on the Internet.  With everyone who happens to come to this little corner of the universe known as Nakedjen.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, Naked Ron.  Who happens to be a very faithful Nakedjen reader and who was more than kind and generous enough to offer to pose with me for a naked picture while I was visiting NYC.  We were unable to connect that day, but I am holding Ron to his promise and some day soon a picture of the two of us together (non-photoshopped) will appear right here on this very site.

Until that day, here is Ron.  Naked.  He looks positively fabulous, don't you think?  I think he deserves a standing ovation.

Dreamsweet Organic Medicinal Tea

We interrupt this Naked Adventure Across America to bring you a special broadcast. 

As mentioned here previously, when I am not taking fake naked pictures in Minnie's house at Disney or traipsing around the country on my naked tour, I am at home, in Santa Cruz making organic medicinal teas.  This past March I decided to throw up a very rudimentary web site and just "see" if it stuck.  See what happened, really.  See if anyone would even order the teas or be the least bit interested in them.

Well, they did.  And the Fertilitea, especially, has been not only popular, but very helpful for women who are trying to get pregnant.  So far, just since March, I can attribute 10 successful pregnancies to that tea.  Not bad, huh?  Especially since I've probably only sold about 40 bags.  That's a pretty good success rate if I say so myself.

When I asked all of you what kinds of teas you would like to purchase, you all answered me in spades and gave me great fodder for expanding my line of teas.  And I have done just that. 

Dreamsweet Organic Medicinal Teas now features 15 teas that all really do work.  In addition, I can make an Individualitea for those who have special health concerns that are not already addressed by one of the teas offered.  The new and improved web site launched today. 

Those folks at Innocent didn't want to hire me, remember?  So I've decided that I need to make these teas just as wonderful as those juices.  Actually, if you've got an ailment, they're even better because they really will cure what ails you.  They're 100% organic, 100% herbal and caffeine free.  And like I said, they really do work.  We're now live.  We can take your orders.  Go and get yourself some tea.

Conversations with Dear Sweet Dave

are you bringing all of santa cruz with you??
Plus, mom likes to spend time with us, and she always says that those drives are some of the best qulatiy time she gets with me.
Your suitcase is huge.
Mine will be not quite as big.
oh my suitcase
right
But I was thinking of the seats.
He has a small car.
i have a large SUITCASE
yes.
what's left of it.
which is broken
Unless you bought another.
no, i didn't
i contemplated it at target the other day
maybe i'll have mom take me to marshalls so i can see what's out there
I can always just bring along the other duffel bag when I come.
Then we can buy something at our leisure.
we're going to need something. we've got MORE trips this year than ever
yes, I know. and they keep growing.
we can buy some stolen samsonite luggage off of ebay.
right
good idea
stolen merchandise is always my fave
oh...speaking of stolen
so about the plaza
the plaza hotel has been sold
and is no longer going to be a hotel
but when d told me this on monday she wasn't sure what had transpired
like if it was truly out of business or what was going on
so we hiked over there to see and possibly have TEA in the PALM COURT (as i've done my entire life) for one last time
D had never even been to the plaza. she was born and raised in NYC and had never been there, imagine??
wow.
so we went there.
and there's YELLOW DO NOT CROSS POLICE TAPE surrounding the building
and cops everywhere
and it's a MESS
there's bird poop on all the steps and entryways
total shambles
i get VERY SAD
but you can go inside
I'm guessing the tea would have sucked.
i think, well, maybe you can still have tea??
so we walk in
and in the palm court, they are having a fire sale
selling EVERYTHING
2:35 PM
chandeliers
paintings
furniture
televisions
phones
pads of paper
weird.
yes, weird
did you buy anything?
we walked through one ballroom that was FILLED with nothing but ironing boards
and luggage racks
and we wandered to the second floor
and they were selling all the sheets and towels
and bedspreads
and mattresses
$10 for a mattress
it was surreal
you should have bought some towels. Or bathrobes.
and kind of spooky
and they were selling the MAID's Uniforms
which is what i really wanted
did they have the logos on them?
the maid's uniforms had the logos
and the maid's name embroidered on it
i wanted one!
but they were $100
and i wasn't paying $100 for a maid's uniform
they wanted $25 for the hair dryers
that's a lot. I thought it was a fire sale.
and they didn't even say "the Plaza".
i was determined to get something that said "THE PLAZA" on it
i really wanted the china from the Palm Court
or a Tea Pot
or something
but it felt like all that stuff had been snatched up
and whomever was running this sale
had actually brought out OTHER CHINA and was selling it
because this was not PLAZA china.
weird again.
i could tell since i've spent my whole life there
yes, totally weird.
it was all stamped MADE IN KOREA
and was still in the boxes it came in
totally weird
so then we go to the higher floors
and we're wandering through the suites
and hotel rooms
and they've been DESTROYED
and i'm having flashbacks
to the times i've stayed there
and running in my ballgown down the hallways
i really wanted to do a naked picture in one of the suites
standing next to a fireplace, looking totally forlorn
but D didn't want to be the photographer
so...
we're wandering about and in one narrow service hallway there is this HUGE pile
2:40 PM
of hangars and telephones and fax machines
all just DUMPED
and on top?
hangars with the planes still inside them?
no the other kind of hangers
LOL!
sorry.
you deserved that, miss what base does he play
Huge pile.
And...
sitting on the very top?
An ice bucket
that has the Plaza logo on it.
so i grabbed it
and shoved it in my "suitcase"
and walked out of the building with it
and now i have it.

better than buying made in korea china.
you should pot a plant in it.
yes, absolutely better.
that's what i'm thinking. i'll make it into a planter for one of my plants
it's rather large
and i'm quite happy to have it.
so even more luggage requirements....
i really wanted to get the painting of Eloise
i could feel her CRYING while i was there

honestly, i could feel lots of souls feeling quite displaced
was the painting there?
the energy was palpable.
no.
painting wasn't there.
there were loads of paintings from the rooms that were for sale
but THAT painting wasn't there
I imagine that was sold by a major auction house.
the wallpaper was even being ripped off the walls
the rugs were being torn up
the beautiful velvet drapes were all for sale
it was just so odd.
the entire KITCHEN was for sale
i was tempted to get a cake pan or something
have you looked online for an explanation?
well, it was sold
and it is being turned into condos
nice.
I had a feeling it was something like that.
imagine how expensive they will be??
or an office building.
but it made me so sad. that building has always been my favorite hotel.
and now, it's gone.
progress.
no more parties in the grand ballroom
no more afternoon tea
i left my first PLAY at the plaza...remember?
and when i remembered and went back to fetch it they had it in a beautiful plaza binder with a note on the front on plaza stationary that said: "play by jennifer neal"

that's nice.
and now all i have is an ice bucket
but at least i have that!
there ya go.
Well, sadly things change.
yes. fucking progress
but what can you do?
London seems to be more constant.
somewhat.
Monus a few fires now and again.
Minus
okay, go work.
yes, good idea.
talk to you later.
right.
i'll be online later tonight.
checking more on the site
(l)
what the hell is that??
hmm.
what did it look like?
perentheses l perentheses

how about that?
ah, now i got a kiss!
lovely.
the other was a heart.
oh, well, it didn't work
oh well.
on this end
:heart:
the thought, and all that.
that didn't work, either
yes. lovely thought.
i'll see you soon.
I'll talk to you later, and see you real soon.
Love you.
love you, too.
ciao.

Please Examine Every Inch, Cellulite and All

So I suppose that I've created quite the controversy over my photo shopped picture at Disney in the previous post.  Goodness gracious, we all know that I was never intending to cause folks to get in such an uproar.  Especially over something so silly as a naked picture of myself in Minnie's house.

Since today is Friday, I'm making it up to all of you.  We all know Friday's around here are Naked Fridays.  This particular Naked Friday finds Nakedjen still on her tour across America and somewhere in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.  In fact, if any of you can tell me precisely where I'm standing in this picture, I'll give you a prize.  I'll send you a batch of Clyde's Cookies, those yummy vegan organic chocolate chip creations that kept Clyde and I happy and fed while we toured with the Grateful Dead.

I had NeverNakedBeth (my Mormon sister) take these photos just a few moments ago.  I had her take two.  One with clothes, one without.  We waved to the traffic while I disrobed.  She was certain that we were going to be arrested.  I assured her that we'd simply tell the officers that we were doing a photo shoot for Nakedjen and all would be well.  Since no one even really noticed, I'm beginning to think this whole naked in public thing is just becoming rather ho hum and passe.

Anyway, tomorrow I am on my way to NYC.  To see Bakerina among others.  And to get in some very deserved and needed retail therapy.  My visit to North Carolina was filled with drama the likes of which none of us has seen in quite a while.  When you mix my father, Albert, with Nakedjen what you get is fireworks.  Bigger than any you'll ever see at Disney.  Trust me.

By the way, it's my friend GraceD's 50th birthday today.  If you're feeling at all generous, please go over there and wish her a very happy next 50

years, as well.  I just know she's going to live FOREVER.

Ten Things To Know About Walt Disney World

1. Crabby children come with even crabbier parents who are determined to make sure that little Johnny or Susie squeaks every possible moment out of this magical vacation that took every single penny of the cash advance and second mortgage to afford.

2. Even if you’ve never liked Mickey Mouse and his big ears, you will find yourself overwhelmed with having to purchase souvenirs.  That were all made in China.  Forget McDonalds.  Disney has the lock on cheap, plastic crap made in China.  Every single ride ends with a “store” where you can purchase special memorabilia of the moment you just spent with Pooh and his friends.

3. If it looks like it is going to rain, it is going to rain.  And the clothes you’re wearing should be able to withstand torrential downpours.  Unless, of course, you’re Nakedjen and it happens to be Friday.  Then getting absolutely drenched and walking around the park in your see-thru top and pants is perfectly acceptable no matter what your Mormon niece and nephew have to say about it.

4. Wearing your pajamas to the restaurant for an afternoon snack is perfectly acceptable as well.  Especially if it is, again, going to rain.  Might as well do the wet pajama contest while you’re there.  And not worry about how you have completely embarrassed your Mormon relatives.  They’ll get over it.  So will the other restaurant patrons.

5. The kale that is growing under the trees in Morocco in Epcot is NOT organic.  It looks very good, but it is riddled with pesticides.  As is everything else served at Disney.  Organics just aren’t popular enough to sell according to everyone I asked.  And believe me, I asked. 

6. Speaking of organics, when the limo driver tells you he’s taking you to a very exclusive grocery store that has all the organic produce and rice cakes you could possibly need, he’s lying.  The grocery store has carpeting.  As well as a wine section large enough to keep all of Florida drunk for the entire hurricane season.  But there is not a single organic item to be found in the whole store.  Demand that he take you to Whole Foods, instead.  Even if it is 30 minutes in the wrong direction.

7. There is no good coffee at Disney, either.  Not even Starbucks, which I would have settled for, given my increasing lack of good nutrition anyway.  In Morocco at Epcot you can find a saint who will make you a café au lait.  Praise her and ask her to marry you.  She’ll then make you another one.  For free.

8. There is no flash photography allowed on any of the rides at Disney.  Apparently, they have signs and public announcements telling you this.  I never saw or heard a single one.  And so I happily took lots of pictures.  I was also reprimanded many many times for doing just that.  I’m not sure why there is no flash photography allowed.  It’s not like the characters are “real” or will screw up if the flash goes off in their eyes.

9. Speaking of those characters, in the words of my astute nine year old niece, “They’re just entertainers, you know.  They’re paid to hug you and make you smile.  It’s not like they really like you.”  She said this to her own mother who was quite keen on getting hugs and autographs from as many “characters” as possible while she was there spending her children’s college fund on the family vacation. 

10. When attempting to take a naked picture lying on Mickey’s Bed, alarms will go off.  There’s a reason that there is a do not cross sign there.  His bedroom really is off limits.  The minute you step into his bedroom, loud alarms sound and Disney cast members come running to see what all the commotion is about.  They then will discover you standing there half in the room, half out of the room without your clothes on and they will not be PLEASED at all. 

It is a far better idea to take your “naked” photos in Minnie Mouse’s house, which is right next-door.  While there are loads of very small children traipsing through, there are no alarms and thus you have a far better chance of actually getting naked, having your niece snap a quick photo, and moving along to the next attraction without creating a spectacle!