I realized today that I am quite out of practice when it comes to flirting with members of the opposite sex. Member of my own sex? No problem. But boys? Not so much. It's like I've lost all the skills I honed in high school and college and those ever important early years in my twenties. Is this a use it or lose it skill? Isn't flirting like riding a bicycle? Something you only need to learn once?
Uncle Charlie's Summer Camp is back in session. The young, fresh, nubile boys and girls of UCSC have descended upon our town once again and are staking claim to our waves and our cafes and calling them their own. These are the beautiful children of the UC system, quite frankly. And why not? They've chosen to pursue their higher education in Santa Cruz, of all places. At a college where you can elect not to receive grades and actually take surfing for credit. Where as much emphasis is put on what party you're going to attend on Saturday night as what party you're voting in the next election. This is not the school of rocket scientists. This is the school of sun-kissed surfer boys, kick-ass babes on mountain bikes and the requisite round out of trustafarians.
While I'm completely floored and flattered that these boys who are running amok in our town think that I am anywhere NEAR the same age bracket as they, I still find myself completely tongue-tied by their bold flirtations and come-ons. There I am, walking a puppy, bopping along with my iPod, quite oblivious to most things around me, and the beautiful half-naked dripping wet surfer boy is smiling, making eye contact, asking me all about the dog, then all about me, then asking if I'll be back tomorrow. Goodness. While my seven shades of red cheeks certainly belay my attempt at cool, it's all I can do to keep standing, not mumble, and not dash off like a ferret in search of a very deep hole. I'm absolutely sure that Peter Funt is going to jump out from behind a bush at any moment and yell, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera!" How else to explain this sudden fawning from these boys?
It would be one thing if this was a rare occurrence. And perhaps it's happening with such frequency because the dogs are getting a total of six walks a day. That's a lot of walks with a puppy. But I can't help but wonder if perhaps I'm being wound up? Is this not some huge prank? Has UCSC decided to offer credit to these boys in the form of a class in Flirting 101? Turn 30 over 40 women to blushing babbling idiots before the end of the semester for 3 credits? How else do you explain it?
Whatever the reason, I would like to publicly thank those beautiful young men. Boys, thank you. Really and truly, thank you. If this is for credit, all I can say is that you certainly deserve A's. I'm definitely loving the attention, even if I do find myself reverting to complete dorkdom and unable to respond in kind.
Carry on. This naked woman of Santa Cruz most definitely thanks you.
