Dear Buddha and Stella,
This was the Thanksgiving where I gave multiple thanks to the Universe and whomever else was even remotely responsible for bringing you two lovely puppies into my life. I did this while kneeling at the Altar of Clyde even though I now know, as it has been very much confirmed, that Clyde really is Buddha and Buddha is Clyde. Still, Clyde has his Altar of Clyde and Stella, I don't want you to be sad that you don't have your OWN altar. I know that you want one. You've made that perfectly clear by chewing on the corner of the Altar of Clyde and taking the famous shoe off of it and prancing around the house like you've just won the DOGSHOELOTTERY!
But you know that whole part in the bible that talks about not making false gods and all of that? Consider it a good thing that you don't have an Altar. I mean, what if the goddess of the Universe found out? She might smote you or something. And we certainly don't want any smote Stellas around here. We're vegetarians, remember? Though dog might just be a delicacy in some parts of this great world of ours, here at ChezNaked, we prefer our dogs living.
Which brings me to my second point. The Altar of Clyde was created when Clydesdale departed this earth for parts unknown. I had no idea that he was actually going to come back even though he promised me that he would. I suppose I should have believed, just like all those kids who are currently hopping on Santa's lap in malls across America with wish lists a mile long. And trust me, if you tell me when you're about to leave this planet which will be 30 years from now, at least, because of all that delicious organic food you're eating, I will believe you. Absolutely. And I will also make you an Altar. Because you are, as we know, a dog that deserves worship in all kinds of ways.
And let's face it, Stella, you are already worshiped and adored. Not just by us, but by everyone who meets you. You are the darling of the dog park. All the boys just love you, and all the girls think you're the baddest feminist puppy in the land. They see you coming and bow to your bad ass self. It's all Buddha can do to have any one of the dogs at the park even say hello. Oh no, darling Stella, it's all about you. And we know that is just how you like it and want it to stay.
Of course you are Buddha's sister, you know? You could be a kind family member and share the limelight with him every once in a while. But as I know you have a mind of your own, far be it from me to suggest that you share some of the glory with your brother.
You both have had quite the adventurous last month, haven't you? Stella you got to have your very own visit to the emergency hospital and even have your stomach pumped! I know you just ate those toxic substances on the beach to find out exactly how much I really loved you. I just know it. I just wish you hadn't come home and bragged so much to Buddha about all the attention that you got because he had already had his own visit to the hospital where he got very special pictures of his insides taken. Now he certainly feels that we don't love him as much as you because he didn't get to spend the night in the fancy "hotel" or have all those special nurses fawning all over him.
You both graduated from puppy training school this month and no one was more impressed than I was at how well you learned to sit and stay and heel and leave it. Of course, you don't remember how to leave it if it smells like a rotting gopher, so I think we all need to go to remedial school and learn all about that again. By the way, since we're vegetarians, as I keep pointing out, perhaps you should know that gophers are not vegetables!
Everyone at the dog park wants to know what I am feeding you because not only are you getting bigger every day between the morning dog park visit and the afternoon one, but you do, by far, have the shiniest and silkiest coats of all the dogs there. The other dogs are jealous of those black coats of yours, so please make sure that you don't take them off and leave them unattended when you're out at the bars or the cafe. Another dog is surely going to swipe them!
Speaking of the cafe, you've both joined the cafe society and most definitely know how to order your lattes and liver biscotti when you go to Kelly's with me in the morning. I'm very proud of the way you sit at the table and mind your manners even when all the other dogs around you are yapping away about complete nonsense. Not you. You're both sitting there practicing your French and sipping your coffee and taking small, polite bites of your biscotti. Oh what great puppies you are!
You are, really, very good puppies. Buddha gets a shout out for the evening he managed to not be in his crate for five hours and yet also did absolutely NO DAMAGE to the house. I know this drove you bonkers, Stella. I know it was particularly hard for you to have him free when you were not. And I also know that it is because he was here before that he knew to behave. Since you're so brand new to this whole dog thing, well, we also know that had you been the one out of your crate all my bras would have been restyled so the nipples poked through and my underwear would all be crotchless. And while those undergarments do have their place, even in my wardrobe, I'm not certain that every single bra and pantie need to fit that bill.
Both of you, actually, are so much more mellow now and it's a joy for me to have you wander about the house with me all day while I am working. I love that you sleep on my feet. I love that you curl up and snuggle. I love that you are still so much a brother and sister that you fight over toys and create games for yourselves if no one else is around to play with you.
You are my joy. You are my loves. I can't wait to see what the next month brings.
Love,
NakedJenDogMama
P.S. Thanks for getting that whole POOP and PEE thing figured out. It really is so much nicer when you go outside, isn't it?







