There hasn't been much talk around here about the state of our union lately. I'm sure that many of you are already thinking, "Ho, hum, here she goes again. Whine. Whine. Whine. Why haven't they just called it a day, already?"
Well, the truth is, I just won't give up. I hate to lose. Even in love. Especially in love. Perhaps, I hate to lose most when it comes to love and the commitment I made when I married DearSweetDave.
We're moving forward. We're definitely not moving backwards. I'm such an optimistic person, that I want to believe that we both love each other just enough to continue "this", whatever this is. I say that because when I married DearSweetDave I said in my vows that I was not very good at love, unsure of what it really was or how to properly describe it, but that I knew that whatever this was between us, THIS was it.
Valentine's Day, as you know, was this past Tuesday. DearSweetDave and I are not Hallmark Holiday people. We don't really ascribe to the notion that we need to be told what day in the year to celebrate our love for one another. Usually on Tuesdays, I am at my friend Gail's house watching Gilmore Girls. Go ahead and laugh, but it is my guilty pleasure. And Emily Gilmore reminds me so much of NakedMom that I am often found in absolute FITS screaming at the television. We won't even discuss Rory's most recent boyfriend. It will be sufficient to tell you that should Amy Sherman-Palladino need an extra writer for that show, she could just call me. I have lived Rory's life with Logan. Amy is writing it perfectly. Right down to the Birkin Bag, per-fect-ly.
When I mentioned to DearSweetDave that I would be at Gail's watching Gilmore on Tuesday night, he said, quite emphatically, that it was Valentine's Day and I should know better than to make plans on Valentine's Day. But I reminded him that last year he didn't even get me a card. He reminded me that for me, that was the most perfect thing. And it was! But given that we're not Valentine's people and the recent State of Our Union, well, how was I supposed to know I would be busy on Valentine's Day? I asked Gail to tape the show so we could watch it next Tuesday and I wondered just what my DearSweetDave had up his sleeve.
Tuesday dawned and he told me that he was going to try to make a reservation at Aqua Bleu. It's a hot new asian/fusion restaurant here in town. I reminded him that it was Valentine's Day and it probably wasn't going to happen. Later that day he called and just told me to be downtown at 7:00 p.m. Okay!
I still was unsure exactly what he had planned, but I was deeply touched that he was going to any trouble at all for Valentine's. In fact, he said that while we don't need a special day to celebrate our love, it was a great opportunity to celebrate our love so we should do it. That was just about as sweet as a heart shaped box of Godiva chocolates and well, since I don't eat chocolate, I'll take that instead! Still, I stressed over whether or not to get him a card. There were definitely things I wanted to say, but a card? From the store? They all seemed so overly sweet or overly corny or just not right this year. I was most definitely perplexed. There was no card that said, "I'm glad you're STILL my husband and I hope you always will be. I love you. Always will. Forever times infinity." So since that card just didn't exist, I made him one. That said just that. Because, well, that's how I felt and if I know anything I know that it is always best to be honest. Always.
At 6:30 DearSweetDave came home. There were no reservations at Aqua Bleu (didn't think so), but he said that they were holding a few tables for walk-ins so he was going to just go sit and wait for a table. And when I was ready, I should come and join him. Which is exactly what I did. I tried my best to actually "dress up" for the occasion. It's been so long since I've put on absolutely ANYTHING other than dog walking clothes, that I was shocked that my clothes actually fit. Operation Get Thee To A Gym must be working. At least a little bit. I even managed to squeeze into my tiny black jeans (which I haven't squeezed into in over two years) but then decided NOT to wear them because while I did manage to squeeze all my self into them, it wasn't a comfortable squeeze. More like a stuffing the too large sausage into the too small casing squeeze and I was sure I would burst the seams as I sat in the restaurant making my best attempts at being romantic.
So donning a flirty black silk skirt and vintage cashmere sweater (how can you go wrong with silk and cashmere?) I met DearSweetDave, whom I am still very glad is my husband, at Aqua Bleu. We shared a really delicious meal of sushi and crab cakes and a salmon pineapple stack. The food there is really top notch for Santa Cruz. And we exchanged cards. Yes, cards. DearSweetDave got me a card this year. I told him I was going to blog about what he wrote, well, because that's what I do. Internet, I give you DearSweetDave's Valentine's sentiments:
Some days I'm a prince
And some days I'm a frog
Some days I say things
That make you want to blog.
Some days I get naked
Most days I wear clothes
Some days you get naked
(There's many more of those).
Some days were together
Some days not so much
Some days we feel right in sync
Others we lose touch.
Some days I make lots of sense
Some days I'm confused
Some days I make you feel great
Some days more abused.
Some days I'm excited
Some days I get blue
But every day no matter what
Still know that I love you.
Now, what's missing from that poem are his illustrations. Which were these very cute little drawings for each stanza. I was so touched. And immediately told him that of course I was going to blog about it. Har! I suppose he's used to it, but we do live a very public life.
But dinner and the poem were not all. After dinner we went for a walk down Pacific Avenue, stopped to get me a coffee at Peet's Coffee (where I exclaimed that the coffee really WAS much better than Lulu's) and then we went to the Kuumbwa Jazz Center. DearSweetDave had gotten us tickets to see Tuck and Patti! I had no idea that they were even playing that night, but I absolutely love them. I hadn't seen them in nearly 20 years. So it was a real treat. They didn't disappoint. They put on a really terrific show filled with love songs.
I truly felt so loved by DearSweetDave, my husband. And that's the crux of all of this, I think. That I do still feel so very loved by him. Every day, whether it's a Tuesday or a Valentine's Day or just a day like today when we're both too sick to get off the couch and hope the other one will make some tea.
The future of us may still be unclear, but I can't help but feel just, well, yes, hopeful that it's all going to be okay. Or even better than okay. That it's all going to be good. Very, very, good.