nakedjen

Wishes for Fishes

Wishes for fishes
Flying to the magic isle
Dreams do come true.

I just have to believe that some how, some way, I'm going there this week.  Wishes do come true.  Right?

I'd Like To Thank Miss Clifton...

I will NOT be thanking God if I ever win an Oscar.  I may also forget to thank YOU, so just be prepared for that.   I'll probably also forget to thank Dave, so you'll be in good company.  You, God and Dave.  Could be worse.

- email to NakedMom 02/27/07

Healing the Naked and the Clothed since 1964

Favorite Google Search Result Ever?

Naked Healer.

It lands you right here. 

Welcome!

Beautiful Breasts Uncovered

My friend Ellie, who is a fabulous mother to Max and a breast-feeding activist and the maker of super capes for kids in Portland, has shared with me today an absolutely beautiful and perfect website to share with all of you for Naked Friday.

If I could, I would give Jordan Matter his own personal Nakedjen Crown of Glory to wear.  His collection of photographs of New York women just being themselves, topless, in and around New York, is such an amazing and beautiful pictorial of what we're all about here at Nakedjen.

Really.

I mean, look at this one.  He's even got a woman in the classic Nakedjen "ta da" pose!

But even better are the thoughts and words shared by the women themselves who have been photographed.  They are clearly women who love the bodies that they have, even if they have not always loved the bodies that they have. 

Go and check out Jordan's photos.  They are my gift to all of you on this beautiful Friday.  I know because you are here and a reader of Nakedjen that you will love and appreciate each and every one of these beautiful women just as much as I do.  And you'll thank Jordan for sharing them with all of us.

And then perhaps you'll also go get naked.  Because loving your body is a beautiful thing. 

Your Naked Hostess for Urgent Migraine Care

You know when you call your blog Nakedjen sometimes your blog ends up in the search results on Google for folks who probably were not searching for a blog written by a woman who gets naked to help make other women and men feel better about their bodies and spends most of her time talking about her dogs and her DearSweetDave and how if you really go for your dreams the Universe really will provide.

I'm guessing that whomever was looking for "girl naked feeling poop" today wasn't exactly looking for me.

Neither were the legions of folks who are looking for "naked Disney" all day long every single day.  What is up with those people?  Are they looking for a topless Snow White?  Or do they want to ogle Cinderella without her fancy blue ball gown?  Or maybe what they really want to see is exactly how well hung those seven Dwarfs really were? 

I was pleased to see that someone today was actually looking for "eggplant reubens" and stopped by here to see what I had to serve up. 

And with all the blogs out there, that when looking for the "drive time from Santa Cruz to Los Angeles", Nakedjen was actually able to provide some answers.

But what I am most grateful for is that I was able to provide dog teachings about urgent migraine care.  Because if Buddha and Stella and Clyde can teach us anything, it is certainly how to urgently take care of a migraine.  Especially when we're naked. 

Seriously Undervalued

Last Saturday night I had the good fortune to gather with some of my best women friends for our monthly new moon gathering here in Santa Cruz.  If you didn't know it was the new moon on Saturday night, I apologize for not telling you.  It was.  That means that it was the perfect time for you to cast out your intentions to the Universe, dream your big dreams, ask for the things you want, make that grand wish. 

Now that you're feeling a bit miffed at me because you totally missed the chance to make sure that the Universe actually provided you with the winning Lottery numbers for the MegaMillions and also made sure that your new Hybrid car was delivered on time directly to your driveway and it also managed to create peace between your uncle Bob and your uncle Phil who actually haven't spoken to each other in so long that no one can even remember why they are no longer speaking to each other, now that you're miffed at me for missing your one and only monthly opportunity for all that wonderfulness, I will share with you that you haven't actually missed your chance. 

Oh sure it would have been a great thing to actually perform some sort of incantation and ritual on Saturday, but the Universe is still listening.  And the moon is still waxing.  You've still got time, grasshopper.  So light a candle.  Do a dance.  Write an intention.  Whatever it is that you feel you need to do.  Go right ahead.  I don't think the drawing for the MegaMillions is for at least another few days.  Those numbers have plenty of time to be delivered.

While I was at the gathering of wonderful women on the New Moon, we watched the DVD of The Secret.  You know the one that Oprah is talking about?  The one that your neighbor is also talking about?  The one that even the cleaning lady at the office is talking about?  The secret that just isn't so secret anymore?  Yes, that one.  That one, exactly.

When it was over there was a lively discussion and eventually one of the women turned to me and said, "Nakedjen, what's your take on all of this.  I consider you an expert on the Law of Attraction!"

Expert?  Me?  Um, why thank you, but no.  Let's put that out there right now.  I am not an expert at anything except, maybe, perhaps scooping up dog poop.  And even that I manage to bungle quite frequently, so probably wouldn't be winning any gold medals in the Olympics of dog poop scooping, either.

I am certainly not an expert at the Law of Attraction.  I'm not sure that anyone is really.  If they say they are, well, I'd be quickly on the path to search for another guru.  The Law of Attraction is so malleable and interchangeable and well, personal, that I don't believe it even comes in a one size fits all cloak that can be worn by anyone claiming to be an expert. 

Of course anyone who practices the Law of Attraction will be able to share with you their own experiences and their own practices and their own successes.  But that doesn't mean that it will work the same way for you. So you should just listen intently, take good notes, and then go practice it for yourself and find out exactly what does work for you and what doesn't.  Create your path!

The gist of it is this.  We are all energy.  And that energy is unique.  Because it is unique it is going to vibrate at a unique frequency (or at least I believe it will).  So what works for me, my vibration, my energy, is going to be uniquely different from what works for you.  There may be similar threads, but because we are all truly individuals, we're all going to experience our life's paths in very individual ways.  So we should find them and, yes, manifest them, in our own individual ways, as well.

But thinking about all of this made me remember something.  Many, many, new moons ago, I wrote a play called Strawberries and Cream.  In that play there is a long monologue by the main female character about "the secret".  I wrote that play twenty-five years ago.  Last night I went looking in my library for a copy of the play because I wanted to remember and read exactly what I had written (and possibly blog about it) and realized that I have given all of my copies away.  Including the one that I had that was signed by Edward Albee. 

So I went looking for a copy on the Internet.  And I found one which was quite surprising actually.   Now, people, don't you think that copy is seriously undervalued?  It's one thing to have a first-edition that is signed by Edward Albee.  But obviously that seller does not realize that they also have in their possession one of the only first-editions left that includes an award-winning play by Nakedjen! 

I'm sure if they realized the rarity and magnitude, they'd want at least $76.00 for it, don't you think? 

Oh, I think most definitely.  Most definitely, indeed.

I Wonder If Her Mom Is Worried About Her Mental Health?

Do you all think Britney's mom called her and said, "I still love you even though you shaved your head and got those tattoos?"

According to Tognozzi, Britney did not speak much, exchanging just a few words about her baby with the shop owner. She also noted Britney said, "Mom's gonna kill me."

A source from the salon confirmed to Access Hollywood

The singer left the salon after a short time, making her way to a tattoo parlor in Sherman Oaks around 7:30.

Video on KABC-TV showed the newly shorn Spears with tiny tattoos on the back of her neck as she sat Friday night for a new tattoo — a pair of red and pink lips.

"She just wanted something real small on her wrist, something dainty," Max Gott, the tattoo artist at Body and Soul, told the TV station. "She got some cute little lips on her wrist."

I really hope that she did.  If she didn't, at least I know that NakedMom would.  And for that I am very grateful.

Celebrate the Pig not the Pop

I suppose when our country is enmeshed in a war in a far off land that is costing its citizens over $195 million dollars a day.  Wait.  Do you all actually realize what that number truly represents to you, the tax paying citizens of this country?

$195 million dollars a day could instead be used to purchase 63.1 million gallons of fortified whole milk.  Or it could be used to provide health insurance coverage for one year to 380,900 uninsured children in America.  Or it could instead be used to employ 4,269 elementary school teachers or 4,027 secondary school teachers for one year.  Maybe we'd like to use just take one day of the war and instead use it to employ 4,919 fire fighters, 4,222 police patrol officers, or 7,052 paramedics and emergency medical technicians for one year each.  I don't know, how would you like to spend that money?

It's a lot of money.  And we're spending that much every single day in our war on terror in Iraq.  Every.Single.Day.

But what I was going to say before I got side-tracked by the thought of all those dollars and how we could be spending them was that with all that going on over there in some foreign land, is it any wonder that we're sitting here at home and are instead completely and overly obsessed with the death of a former Wal-Mart employee turned waitress turned stripper turned Playboy Bunny turned model turned trophy wife to beat all trophy wives turned reality-TV star turned movie star turned TrimSpa spokesperson?   

And if the news of her will and the fight over the embalming of her body and where to bury it and who is the father of her baby is not enough to keep us glued to CNN for the latest ticker updates then certainly we must be watching because we have to know if Britney is in rehab or out of rehab, is wearing panties or not wearing panties, why she shaved her head and what exactly was that tattoo she got and did she have the kids with her in the tattoo parlor?  Did she?  Huh???

I know we need to escape.  I understand.  But is there nothing else that we can find to obsess about?  Like maybe that it's Chinese New Year's and we're ushering the Year of the Pig? 

Do you know what this means?  It happens to be a GOLDEN PIG YEAR!  That just happens to mean good luck and prosperity for all.

Now that's something I'd like to focus on.  Good luck and prosperity for all.  Even for Britney.  She seems to need all the good luck she can get these days.

Mushy Valentine's

Forever times Infinity,
My life to be with yours entwined,
As we embrace life's challenges,
And hand in hand our futures find.

I'll care for you and help you grow,
And learn from all you do and say,
And laughter will become our song,
And joy and tears our poetry.

Forever times Infinity,
We'll join together in this dance,
A dance of possibilities,
Of dreams fulfilled and true romance.

And though we know not what's in store,
I pledge my heart will always be,
To you, my love, an open door,
Forever times Infinity and more.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. 

Love Every Body.  Especially the Naked Ones.

Children with Guns

As you know, we don't really have TV at ChezNaked.  Not in the way that most American's have TV.  Most people are absolutely SHOCKED that we have a small Sony television that we use mostly for watching videos from Netflix that is so last century that it barely even has stereo sound.  It does have stereo sound, but nothing fancy.  And it is certainly not HD.  Nor is it 50 inches wide.  Those 50 inch television screens?  They're REALLY BIG.  I think you need a REALLY BIG room to pull those off.  ChezNaked is small.  So we're sticking with our small television, too.

Our small television that does not have cable.  And receives, if it is in a good mood and Mercury is not retrograde and the stars are all aligned in the right configuration and Lydia is feeling especially wonderful about her boobs, exactly two channels.  Two.  Two channels that have so much snow you feel as if you're also getting a live broadcast of the latest snowstorm to blast the Midwest.  But we do get two channels.  The local Fox affiliate and the local NBC affiliate.  But again, let's remember, that's only if things are completely in synch.  If Lydia is not feeling especially wonderful about her boobs, well we can just forget watching anything at all on our Sony.  It cares that much about Lydia's boobs.

Lydia must have been feeling especially wonderful about her boobs last night because we were able to receive not only all the snow that was pummeling Chicago, but a broadcast of Studio 60, as well.  I'm a fan of Studio 60, but am beginning to believe that we're better off watching it via the web broadcast than to rely on our very emotional television.  In fact, I've actually learned, thanks to Dave Winer, how to download Bit Torrents and watch episodes that way.  I'd be even more excited if I could get the downloads of Gilmore Girls to actually work, but so far not a single one of them has.  Perhaps they are also reliant upon the emotional well-being of Lydia's boobs and I keep choosing the very wrong day for the download. 

Last night, after Studio 60 was over, the local news came on.  We hardly ever see or hear the local news on the actual television because of all the aforementioned reasons.  Who is going to ponder the emotional state of your best friend's breasts just to hear about another e coli outbreak linked to Watsonville spinach or that Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband wants custody of Anna Nicole Smith's baby?  Really.  He does.  Not making that up!

The lead in story last night was so horrific I was reminded why I do not watch the news.  National Shooting Sprees.  Utah! Arizona! Salinas!  Good grief.  Dearsweetdave asked me why I thought it was that there were so many people with guns who were so trigger happy?  Did I think this was in response to the Iraq war?

No.  I blame the NRA.  I know that it is our constitutional right to bear arms.  I know this.  And I am not one to casually dismiss the rights granted us by our Constitution.  I'll leave that to our current Administration.  But I do think we're a nation that is just a tad too gun-happy.  My nephew owns two or three of his own guns.  He's 14.  He lives in Utah.  When I heard the story last night on the news about the young man who went on the shooting spree in Trolley Square in Salt Lake City all I could think about was my nephew.  And his guns.  I know that he's a lovely boy.  A good boy who goes to church on Sundays.  An Eagle Scout.  But what would happen, do you suppose, if one day in the not too distant future he was pushed beyond the point of reason, or he had his heart just completely broken by a girl and he decided that he would take his shotgun and go shoot someone to show those folks who hurt him that they were wrong? 

It could happen.  And it scares me more than just about anything else. 

When it comes to guns, I believe we've become a nation that has become much too unconcerned about who exactly is bearing them.  I know that there are rules and regulations in place that are supposed to keep the guns out of the hands of those who would do most harm with them.  But just like anything else in this world, those rules and regulations are very easily subverted and the folks who most want the guns are the ones who can most easily access them.

I don't have an answer.  I just worry about my nephew.  And all of his friends.  I do not believe that this is the end of news broadcasts like this.  I believe this is just the beginning of the avalanche.