I feel very much as if I'm caught in between two worlds. In one world, I'm happily married and I am a good wife. In the other world, my husband has announced that he "is DONE" and I am no one's wife at all.
I believe, in all honesty, that I am supposed to be inhabiting the second world. The world where I am no one's wife at all. I know that the divorce papers are still to come, that the marriage is still, technically, in tact, but that my husband announced on the morning of October 12 that he was DONE and that as far as he was concerned we were no longer married. Our marriage was over.
However, I am still doing wifely duties around here and while I know there are not rules about how all this works, about how it is supposed to be done, about who does what and who says what and when it is appropriate to stop doing certain things, I have to say that it is a BIG FAT MIND FUCK to play the pretend wife when your head knows and more importantly when your heart knows that you are no longer wanted for that role.
Except, of course, when you are wanted in that role.
Well, I quit.
I am not the wife. In the real role, the pretend role, or any role. Not anymore. If Dave wants a wife, he needs to go find another one. This one is DONE. The end.
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x365 Than, you gave me Clyde. And with that, you gave me more than one hippie girl could have ever hoped to receive from her deadhead boyfriend. Thank you for finding him for me and for making sure I kept him. We both loved you.
