Front Page News

I realize that this information is about two days too late, but then I have never been a person who is known for being punctual or on time for anything.

There has been a lot of activity on this blog because of the front page story in the New York Times a few days ago.  I have received nearly a thousand emails (they just keep coming) and quite a few people have written to ask me what I thought of the article or to tell me what they thought of the article or just to say that they discovered me because of the article and wish they had had something similar when they were going through their own divorce.

If you've just arrived because of the article, welcome.  I realize the Times did not make it easy to get here like they did with everyone else mentioned in the article.  There's no link to my blog, and I imagine that's because I'm really and truly naked.  I suppose they really are covering their asses. 

I have no idea how you feel about people who write about their lives on the Internet?  You may be among those who find it fascinating or you may be among those who are absolutely horrified that a person would choose to air such personal things in such a public and permanent forum.  It really doesn't matter to me which person you are.  I'm still glad that you're here. 

No, really, I am. 

Welcome.

While I know that at times, especially lately, this blog has been like a very scary train wreck at which you can not help but stare, I also know that this blog, this little naked blog, has helped many people to truly embrace and love their bodies and by extension to love themselves.  I am proud of this blog for doing that.  I am proud of the naked truths that have been shared here.  And I am very very proud of the staunch supporters who read this blog so faithfully and who truly have helped to keep me sane while my marriage has unraveled. 

I am proud to be Nakedjen.

While I understand that the purpose of the New York Times article was to look for the conflict that exposing your deepest hurts on your blog can create, especially when it is just the voice of one party in a two-party break-up, I do feel that the reporter didn't really get the essence of this particular blog or of me.

But that's okay.  She was doing her job, writing her story for her paper. 

I can continue to do my job and write my story here.  And those of you who truly care and want to know my truth (because, let's face it, David will always have his own and he should!) can know that you can always, always find it here.

The New York Times may be all the news that's fit to print, but the news that really matters most to me will always be the news I choose to write on Nakedjen.

Comments

[Karen]

Always fair, you pointed out the right of the reporter to tell her own story. She was able to slant her take on your blog to support her hypothesis. Someone who comes to find out what new horrid nickname you have given the man formerly known as DearSweetDave is going to find out that terrible name is Dave.

Having read one unfavorable opinion of the YouTube video referenced here I have been thinking negatively of it without even seeing it for myself.

Sometimes I too am swayed by one person's vantage point and am thankful when something reminds me that no story is ever an equitable 50/50 and that I can never truly know or understand life or someone else's relationship or how those people have been affected by one another's decisions. I have also often found it possible to empathize with both parties when each side is told.

Thank you for letting me comment.

[Wendy Jones]

I agree with Karen, she made it sound like you had some HORRID name for him. Bull Poopy!

Hey, at least it brought lots of new readers!

Wendy
(who has been an avid reader for quite some time)

[johndoeisme]

You are stupid, histrionic and fat!

Cupcake,

Your STBX is much more tolerant and nicer than I would be with your histrionic, irrational behavior. He is not responsible for your happiness or to take care of you. That is your job. He is not resonsible for you to lose weight and look less like a pear, that is your job. I had a prenuptial agreement in my 1 and only marriage and it was very clear cut. ALL divorces are the unwinding of a business deal gone bad, whether you think of that way or not. The court is ONLY concerned with financial issues while you wallow your ample body in self pity. You may want to see psychiatric help because you sound and act bi-polar. I would have sued you and broken you financially for acting like a tool. His standards must have been low to begin with to marry a haight asbury reject who thinks having pictures taken of her pathetic naked body somehow makes a statement, it doesn't. It makes you unemployable. This is something you should consider as you will need to GET A JOB and take care of yourself. The signs of him leaving were there, but you chose to ignore them and continue acting like a tool wrapped up in what YOU need. This could actually help you, if you are adult enough to address it, become more mature and self-sufficient. Think about that as you lose weight act more responsible and get into the workforce. He is not responsible for you or your happiness. Get over it. Grow up. Move on. Get a life. You should be glad he handled himself with such dignity and directness, under the false assumption you were an adult and could deal with it as an adult. This is your life. Either continue acting like a tool and watch it pass you by, or grow and get involved and move on. The hens who are cheering you on are bunch of losers and the same chunky losers and cat ladies who will be alone acting like jackasses when they are 65. The same irrational imbeciles who will never be taken seriously. You have an opportunity, don't squander it.

Cupcake, you lost 30 lbs and still look like a fat block. You ever think that how you treat yourself is how you treating you X? What a dumbass you are. Your passive agressive actions where you let yourself blow up like a dirigible and you blame him? WTF is that all about. God, you are pathetic, needy and stupid. He is better off without your loser ass.

[Vi]

Jen,

I am so sorry that your blog was (falsely) cited in The New York Times. I have read every one of your entries and I don't ever recall you being slanderous, defamatory or hostile towards David.

I don't remember you behaving like a victim or throwing a pity party in any way shape or form either. (Although in my opinion you would have been entitled to the pity party at the very least.) What I do remember from reading the entries concerning your break-up was how your experience of the divorce was strictly yours, devoid of blame, hysterics or any negativity towards David.

I specifically remember being impressed by your handling of David's decision because I was going through a painful breakup as well. M past breakups had always been negative for me so I aspired for honesty, selflessness and keeping the focus on myself in this one. You had seemed to achieve my aspirations of ego detachment almost effortlessly throughout your divorce and I was often astounded at how you let David be David while you (sometimes painfully) got on with your own life.

In fact, your blog became a beacon of hope for me as you rebuilt your life, not only independent of David, but starting over in a new city thousands of miles away. Your journey has inspired me and kept me honest about my own emotional peaks and valleys concerning my ex, myself and our breakup. You have given me hope and strength. I don't say this to flatter you, but because I am being honest about how your very public experience anonymously helped someone on the other side of the country.

Again, I am sorry for The New York Times painting a picture of anything other than what you intended your blog to be for you and what I was fortunate enough to receive from it.

[Melanie Fletcher]

I've been reading you for some time, now (as you know, Bob), and I've been cheering for you all the way. It's a pity the NYT distorted your blog, but that's an all-too-common side effect of dealing with the media. The people who come here and read your journal will get the straight dope, which is all that matters in the end.

And John Doe? Dude, take a Xanax, chill out and go for a walk, already. The fresh air will do you good.

[badkarma]

so. interesting. johndoe, maybe society has come to believe that marriage is just a business arrangement - apparently you have. so much for the concept of love. this is probably why the world is as f'd up as it is. unfortunately, johndoe, until natural selection is legal again, we'll have to put up with morons like you...

jen, thanks for sharing the love...

[stephanie e.]

Your blog is lovely and honest and inspiring and completely without vitriol.

johndoe is an ignorant, bitter, hateful, childish asshole who evidently has been rejected by enough women (for reasons apparent!) to make him hate women in general--and to make him project onto you things that have nothing to do with you and that are completely untrue.

You, on the other hand, are a beautiful, intelligent, mature, compassionate, and respectful woman beloved by far more people than johndoe probably even knows.

Anybody who agrees with even a smidgen of anything that misogynistic fool said is either an idiot or a jackass--or both.

[punxsyphil]

Screw 'em. Keep up the good work. We who know you still love you.

[Cowpunk]

Johndoe seems to be fixated on weight issues, a continuous theme in his small-minded, mean-spirited little rant. Along with being an utterly complete MORON (look up the word you moron; it fits you). What’s the matter John? Can’t find that perfect woman you feel you so deserve? It is you, asshole, who has a serious personality defect and can’t move on. It sounds to me that your sorry life is filled with absolutely nothing. No love, no passion, no compassion, no zest for what really matters in life. All I hear is “What’s in it for me?” It is you, asshole, who wins the prize for the biggest loser. That’s quite an accomplishment for you. Good luck with that, you self-absorbed, ignorant fuck.

Jen darlin’? You so rock. You keep doing what you do.

[Karen]

Wow. I am in stark disagreement with JohnDoeisMe. Apparently he does not feel any need to even attempt to be respectful in voicing his opinion and if the marriage relationship best suited for him is mostly a business deal, well that is his need.

And heaven, God, and all the love in the world please save any woman like us from getting tied up with the likes of him. We would be miserable.

It amuses me that he says, "This is your life," after slamming your choices and feelings all over the place without regard.

He fueled our fires and got us talking though didn't he? Thanks John!

[Suz]

Oh good heavens. Johndoeisme can get his own blog if he wants to pontificate. If it were my house, I'd delete his sorry posts. He adds nothing to the conversation but gets his jollies watching the aftermath. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Isn't this a returning troll?