This is not at all the blog post that I was intending to write. However, as I started to write the blog post that I was intending to write, one that was about purple glittering clitoris shaped geodes and 240 million years of careful construction, other words, other thoughts, other feelings kept getting in the way.
So you’re getting those first. The purple glittering 240 million year old clitoris will just have to wait for another day when all this emotional upheaval and what will certainly feel like silly drama has been properly released.
Shall we? Well, I think I shall, at the very least.
I received an email from David (from this day forward I shall refer to DearSweetDave as David. Why? Because that is how he has chosen to refer to himself. I never knew him as David. I have always known him as Dave or even DearSweetDave. But he is no longer DearSweetDave to me and since he really isn’t even Dave to me anymore and I don’t feel comfortable calling him Ex anything since that feels , well, so rather like he’s been wiped out with an eraser or something even worse, I’ll just refer to him as he calls himself. David.) that said he had read my blog and enjoyed the entry with the poetry.
I wrote him back and thanked him and reminded him that the poetry was very old, from my days of living in London, but that I was glad he appreciated it all the same. I also then shared with him that we had quite an adventure on the cruise today what with our tour bus breaking down on the side of a highway in Mexico and all of us having to sit in the sun waiting for another tour bus to come and rescue us! It could have been a scene from a movie it was so classic. I also shared with him that I was ready to go home. That now that I actually live near my sister, vacationing with her isn’t such a novelty. And that a cruise is never my first choice for a vacation anyway! Plus I miss my dogs.
He wrote back and said to me, “Say hi to the puppies for me.”
It was then, well, it was then that I got upset. This is also the point in the story where many of my most devoted Nakedjen readers are going to feel compelled to write to me and tell me that I need therapy. For those of you getting ready to fire up your email programs, may I please remind you that I already am in therapy. Telling me I need to go more often or switch therapists or try a new drug combination is only going to serve to upset me further. So let’s find another reason to write to me, shall we?
I will agree with most of you right now that it is probably not worth my getting upset over David saying, “Say hi to the puppies for me.”
That doesn’t change the fact that I did. Very upset.
When David left last October, he not only left me, he left the dogs, as well. He not only broke my heart, he broke their hearts, too. And while I was a human with a brain that could somehow, someway wrap itself around the fact that he no longer wanted to be a part of my life, Buddha and Stella still have no idea what on earth happened to him?
He just left. Packed everything that he believed was his and disappeared.
As much as I am their world, David was a very large part of their world, as well. I know for a fact that those dogs miss him. Terribly.
How do I know?
Because whenever they see anyone who remotely resembles him in body shape they take off to go and greet the person as if he is the prodigal son returned at last! And the look of sadness and disappointment on their faces when they reach the person and realize that it is someone other than David entirely just breaks my heart. Every time.
But they do it over and over and over again. My eternal optimists, they hold out hope in their huge puppy dog hearts that one day that man walking towards them will be their beloved David.
I don’t think David even realizes how much they truly miss him. I know he doesn’t miss them, really. I’ve asked him.
“Say hi to the puppies for me.”
I wonder how he possibly expects them to reply?
and...in case you missed it....
You Made The Front Page of The New York Times Today!
Seriously, you did. Here's the link.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04
_r=1&ref=todayspaper&oref
I was reading it at school today during my upper division writing
class. I was interested because my sorority sisters and I have blogs.
I just wanted to let you know about your front page debut because I
would want someone to tell me. :-)
Alison
Fresno State Student
