So for those of you whom are keeping track (Is anybody keeping track any more or have you all just plain given up? I certainly wouldn't blame you if you have. No, not me. Not at all.) yesterday, Thursday, 26 June 2008, would have been my eighth wedding anniversary.
As was already documented here, I spent a lot of the day hassling with rude technical service providers from Qwest. Certainly not the way I would have probably spent my anniversary had I still been living in Santa Cruz and still been married to David.
But...and this is a rather large but, a but that is perhaps of gargantuan proportions at this point and would not even fit in size extra extra extra extra large clown pants even if we pushed and shoved and put it on a diet it is such a large but (and yes, I know we need another t for that kind of but, but this is my blog and if you want to have the extra t, go get your own blog and put the extra t there) I am no longer married to David and more importantly I am no longer living in Santa Cruz and I now live in Utah where I am subject to dealing with inept and rude technical service representatives who I am not sure ever even graduated from the first grade.
Ahem.
There's an even bigger but than that. That is that my love for David, despite living in Utah and despite not being married to him and despite having to deal with rude technical service representatives just to ensure that I have a connection to the Internet (not that that really has anything to do with being married to David or not, but I was already discussing it so I'm keeping it for continuities sake) has not faded. Not really.
I'm guessing that I've reached that point in the grieving or healing or whatever you want to call it process called acceptance? Is that what we call this point? Where I just plain love him anyway? Not in a romantic, gushy, princess bride I can't possibly live without him kind of way. Oh no, not that. But in a genuine, I love him, he's a decent person, I shared a lot of myself with him, I don't wish him anything but the very best, kind of way.
That kind of love. Genuine heartfelt love.
Still, this wouldn't be a decent blog entry if we didn't have some drama, right? Or are you all over the drama? Shall I save it for my mama? Probably should.
However, I'm going to spill it anyway. Oh come now. You knew I would. You all are sitting there ticking the box saying, "Still needs her meds. Make sure she sees shrink!"
It's just teeny weeny drama. I didn't even vomit or bang my head.
David and I spoke on the phone. Yesterday. We chatted about our anniversary among other things. I hung up. I burst into tears. I sobbed. I had to cancel my well-laid plans for the evening.
Why?
I do not even know.
Perhaps it is the last remnants of the purging process.
Or, perhaps it is because true love will never fade.
