I realize that I now live in Utah and that this is not California or Washington, D.C. or New York or London or any of the other places that I've lived. I am still trying to sort the deeply rooted cultural traditions here out. Thursday we all got drunk, set off a lot of explosives and celebrated Pioneer Day.
On Thursday morning as we were walking to the Pioneer Day Parade that was actually quite close to my house I asked my niece Heather who has never lived anywhere other than Utah her entire life what was the whole purpose of this Pioneer Day business? Could she please explain?
"I don't know, it's the founding of the state, I guess?"
"The founding of the state? Like when it became a state? Joined the Union? All this for that?"
"Well, no, it's more than that. It's when we got here and became a state!"
"Who's 'we'? You mean the Mormons? Is today really a religious holiday disguised as a Statehood Celebration?"
"No. It's about the Pioneers arriving."
"Which Pioneers?"
"Brigham Young. I don't know? We learned about it at school in History class. It's the day they arrived in the valley or something."
"So it is a religious holiday. That's why the Tabernacle Choir is performing with the Osmonds!"
"Jennifer, stop making it all about the Mormons. It's about Utah. It's about all of us!"
"Well, Heather, I'm just trying to figure it all out. We don't have celebrations like this in California. We have Gay Pride parades. But we don't have huge parades with 150 floats all depicting pioneers dragging hand carts across the plains and building temples! We just don't!"
"Well, then you people in California don't care about your heritage. But you live in Utah now. So you need to care so you'll fit in!"
"Or not!"
"Right. It's you. Or not! Of course not! Can we go now? This parade is really boring!"
"Oh sure, Heather. I'm not going to ever fit in anyway..."
Later that afternoon, I went to a party. Because it was a holiday, of course there were parties.
My friends, being oh so clever, actually decided to commemorate Pioneer Day as PieNBeer Day. With Pie and Beer.
Oh, yes, I do believe I might just fit in here in Utah after all.
Just look at the fabulousness that ensued.
We were joined by one of Jeffs' many wives! Can you believe it?
And the uber famous SLC bloggerista was there!
It isn't a true Mormon Celebration without Jello, as I've stated so many times before. Of course, since we're not Mormon, my friends added the evil alcohol to the Jello. I can attest that this absolutely did NOT make it any more palatable.
Of course there were PRIZES awarded for our awesome pie-baking efforts. Mine was an all organic, all vegan berry and coconut pie. And I can tell you it was really yummy. I whipped it up with stuff I found in the kitchen. I'll totally share the recipe. It was almost TOO easy.
That really famous SLC dog, Penny, came to celebrate, too. Can you believe all the celebrities at this party? I mean, just look:
My advice? When in Utah, embrace the culture. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to eat ALL the Jello or slather mayo on your body parts, but you might just want to put on your bonnet and have a little PieNBeer.








