Ten years ago, Thanksgiving, found me on a very overbooked and cramped red-eye flight from San Francisco to Philadelphia. I had known David for about two months and he wanted me to go to Pennsylvania to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I got no sleep on the flight, arrived in Philadelphia bleary eyed and a tad overwhelmed and then we had to make to make the drive in those early morning hours to Redding where his aunt and uncle were putting us in a Sheraton hotel because there were so many gathering at the house there was not room for us.
It was a rather horrific Thanksgiving for me, least among the reasons being that the only thing I was able to eat was bread and salad. The dinner was catered and even the mashed potatoes had bacon in them. It was at that Thanksgiving that I learned of David’s family’s predilection to have 100% consensus on all activities. This meant that we’d spend the large part of every day trying to find one thing, just one thing, which absolutely everyone could agree that they wanted to do…together.
It made me batty. My own family has its challenges. I will not try to say that they do not. But this is not one of them. I found it rather incredulous that entire days would wane slowly by as everyone debated about a walk, a trip to Longwood Gardens, or a game of tennis. None of these things actually happened, but all would be discussed.
One group activity we did all manage was going to see “A Bug’s Life” together. It is still one of my most favorite films and I named the new Beetle that I bought shortly afterward Heimlich because it was a “German” bug.
That was ten years ago.
If you had told me while I was gathered at that Thanksgiving in far off Pennsylvania that in ten years I’d be living in Salt Lake City, separated from David after having been married to him for eight years (and eight other challenging Thanksgivings), challenging myself to be a better me and reclaim my own universe and actually grateful that I no longer had to come up with very creative ways to avoid Thanksgiving dinners with his family, I would never, ever have believed you. Especially the part about Salt Lake City. (WF??) Or even being married because I was never getting married, you know. Not to David or anyone else. (As if!!)
This is a very long way of saying that life is just not something you can ever predict or plan. You can never know where it may take you. You may imagine yourself on that Thanksgiving day ten years ago spending the rest of all of your Thanksgivings with a man who has captured your heart, but what might be better to remember is that there are no forevers. For any of us.
Life happens. Our best bet is to live it. Fully. With love and intention and gratitude every single day.
I am most grateful that this year I am free to spend my Thanksgiving exactly how I wish without apology or excuses to anyone. I am also most grateful to each and every single one of the literally hundreds of you who took the time to reach out to me in the past few days and assure me that this universe is still my universe and that I am truly and absolutely loved.
For all of you, both named and unnamed, I am blessed, I am fortunate, I am always grateful.
Happy Thanksgiving.
