nakedjen

Bombing Good Health Care

Yesterday, a day that started like many days in Utah with a five a.m. romp in the snow (Stella was doing back flips!) and me freezing my face off, I was at work at the University when the woman who sits in the cubicle next to mine flittered by and insisted that I attend a meeting in the break room right that very instant. 

The alarming thing about this event was that the woman who sits next to me does not work on my team and rarely, if ever, speaks to me.  I made my way to the break room where I discovered that every employee from all six floors of the building were trying to cram their way in for this "important" meeting. 

Once we were all stuffed inside and had all confirmed that we had been gathered to be told, en masse, that we were being "let go" because of the terrible economic downturn, the Head of University Employee Relations informed us that there had been a credible bomb threat called in to our building not one, not two, but three times and they thought that perhaps they should inform us.

One of our patients was angry that his IRS tax refund had been sent to the University Hospital to help pay his outstanding bill.  A bill that, I suppose, he had previously ignored.  A bill that he most certainly owed.

I am sure, whomever this person was, that times are quite difficult for this person.  It is hard to know whether he actually had medical insurance when he originally received care from the hospital.  I do know, from working here, that many services the hospital provides are non-covered services by a lot of insurance companies and become the patient's responsibility.  So even if he (or the member of his family) did have medical insurance when he was a patient and received care, it does not necessarily mean that the insurance paid for all the care that he received.  

I am a person that wants to believe the best about people, so I'm going to believe that this man never intended to not pay his hospital charges.  I'm going to believe the best and believe that he's one of the many among us who has experienced the downturn in our economy first hand.  Who has lost his job and his benefits and at the moment has a mounting pile of bills that are taking a larger priority than the hospital bill.  That he's more concerned with putting food on the table for his family and keeping his house from foreclosure, but that once his life and bank account are back on track, he fully intended to pay his outstanding hospital bill, as well.

Until yesterday.  When he learned that his missing tax refund, a large check that he was counting on for groceries and the heating bill and his mortgage payment went instead to pay the outstanding hospital bill that he really felt should have been covered by his medical insurance that he no longer has.

In his anger and frustration he called and yelled and screamed and threatened to blow up the building.  When his kids started to cry and he realized he did not have the funds to buy very expensive formula that his baby daughter needs, he called back and yelled and screamed some more.  It probably wasn't the best idea to threaten to blow up the building, again, but he was very angry and the kids were crying and his wife was getting hysterical.

Then, well, then the mail arrived.  There among the fliers from Walgreen's and Smith's touting five for one Easter candies was a bill.  From the University Hospital.  It was more than any man could possibly be asked to bear, but on that day, that day when his back was against the wall, he snapped completely.

He called the hospital business office back.  Quietly he told them of his plans.  While he was still on the phone with the billing office, the police came to the door.  They spoke with his frightened wife and then they spoke with him and took him away for more questioning.  His life just turned even further upside down.

Sadly, I think this story is going to become far more commonplace than any of us want to believe.  The rippling effect of these extreme economic hardships will soon visibly touch every one in some way, I'm afraid.  Yesterday, I was evacuated because of a credible bomb threat.  But tomorrow, will there be time to evacuate?  Should good health care really result in bombs bursting in air? 

Tell me what you think.  I'm listening.

Spring in Utah

i am so glad that utah owns a piece of me.  don't you wish you lived here, too?  look what you're missing today!  we just took a long walk to the coffee garden because that's what we do on sundays.  a little snow is NOT going to stop us. 

even a lot of snow is not going to stop us.

i think it's time to move to maui. so, yes, we just took our sunday sojourn to the coffee garden. which was chock full to overflowing with amazingly cute gay boys today (like there was a gay boy convention happening or something...whew) and i spent the entire walk home thinking..."i've got to get my naked ass out of here. this is RIDICULOUS!"

days like this? days like this make me not like utah very much at all. period. it's one thing to have days like this in DECEMBER. or even JANUARY. it's a whole other ball of snow to have days like this when it is almost april.

they're calling for days like this ALL FUCKING WEEK. gah.

i'm not joking. days like this all fucking week make me a bit suicidal. i will not be offing myself (no avocado in my future, i promise). but i completely understand those who do. i really do. my own mania just increases tenfold when i look outside and there's this white zion curtain and i can't even see the houses across the street. and i know, just know, the bone chilling freezing cold that awaits me when i open the door which is frequently because, let's remember, i am the mama to two very active black furry dogchildren who seem impervious to white flakes of snow.

i know. i'm bitching and moaning and i'm CHOOSING to live here. there's no reason i can not move. i can. i will. i just have to sort out the hows and whens and wheres.

i will admit that I spent the whole walk home muttering..."I need to move my naked self to maui. maui is warm.  maui likes naked people.  maui has organic vegetables all year long!"  maui?  are you reading?  send me some luscious naked love.

Hi Brow/Low Brow Film Festival

Citizens of the Blogosphere (and really of Salt Lake and its environs)....

I'm thinking about doing a Hi Brow/Low Brow film festival.  Tomorrow.  Yes, tomorrow.  As in a few hours from now.  Like in perhaps less than 12 hours from now.  How's that for flying by the seat of my naked ass?

We'll be going to three, perhaps even four, films tomorrow.  All first run.  All fabulous.  All screening here in Salt Lake (which is a huge miracle, honestly...maybe God isn't angry at Utah after all?).  Fun and lively and clothed discussion to follow each screening.  Yummy treats and at least one communal meal will be shared, as well.  My film festivals really are special events!

If you're interested in joining us (yes, there's more than me attending this little film festival that could) just contact me in the ways that you might usually contact me.  I do promise to provide the actual schedule via Twitter once it is truly decided. 

Come on.  Join us.  What else are you going to do on a Saturday anyway?  Certainly not wash your car.  There's cold rain and snow coming! 

Feed your head, instead.

Death By Avocado

How is everyone?  Everyone okay?  Are we all still breathing?  Is everyone still solvent?  Money socked away for a rainy day?  I suggest you stuff it in your mattress.  Only safe place these days.

The news has my head spinning.  I don't know, honestly, if I can bother even listening to NPR anymore.  I just want to hear about nice things happening.  Good things.  Exciting things that are positive, you know? 

Last night I was chatting on the phone with Dave Winer and he said that I laugh a lot.  It's true.  I do laugh a lot.  I told him that as long as you're still laughing, well, things can't really be that bad, can they? 

Laughter really is good medicine.

Which is something I needed to remember later that evening.

In a moment of not so clear thinking I actually got "take-out" food last night for dinner.  I have not had take out food for dinner in ages because I have been religiously cleansing my body since March 1.   It is really important to occasionally cleanse our bodies, to give them a chance to set themselves back to center, to clean out the toxins and start fresh.  Spring is always a great time to do this. 

As we all know, I gave up sugar on January 1 and I have not looked back.  This, honestly, has been a godsend for me.  Sugar makes me batty.   I'm already manic and sugar just adds fuel to the mania.  Without sugar, my rollercoaster ride through life is far more pleasant.  It's still a rollercoaster, do not get me wrong, but I don't tend to lose my stomach or bang my head nearly as much! 

On March 1, I embarked on a super duper cleanse.  This included a diet of whole, organic foods, mostly raw, and a special fiber mix that I took twice a day.  I created the special fiber mix and it really is mostly herbs and flax and a few other things that scrub your colon. 

It's now March 24.  So I've been doing the cleanse for 24 days.  Last night, I was tired.  I was hungry.  I thought, well, I'll just get some Mexican food from one of my favorite places.  No.big.deal.

Except it was a big deal.  It should not have been a big deal, but it was.  And it wasn't because I've spent the last three weeks cleansing my body.  I know what you're thinking.  That all that pure living set me up to have a horrible allergic reaction to "junk food". 

No, it really wasn't that.

It was the avocado.

I'm really and truly allergic to avocado.  Deathly allergic to avocado.  And somehow, though I specified and told them I'm deathly allergic, there was a miscommunication, because there was avocado lurking in my burrito bowl last night.

I spent most of the night praying to all the fairies that I could conjure up that I would live.  I also spent most of the night contemplating the wisdom of living a single life in Utah with two furry black dogs who are incapable of being taught how to dial 911.  I had visions that I'd die and it would take the dogs ceaseless mournful howls to alert the neighbors that perhaps they might want to check and see if something was amiss? 

Because I am me, I also then started to fret that the house wasn't as tidy as it should perhaps be should the neighbors come over to discover my dead by avocado naked body.  I actually contemplated getting up and dealing with the recycling pile and the dishes in the sink so they would come into a "clean" house.  Do you know what this crazy person also contemplated? 

No, not to actually dial 911 because I was going to die!  No, of course not.

I contemplated cooking the dogs their breakfast.  So that whomever did come in and discover my dead by avocado naked body could feed the mournful puppies. 

Clearly what I need is a trip to the University's mental ward and not to their Emergency Room.  I mean, honestly, you tell me, please.  What kind of person lies prone on her bathroom floor, naked, certain she's going to die by avocado and then thinks, "Oh, the house is a mess.  The dogs need to be fed.  I need to take care of these things before I die!"???  Someone has been taking drama lessons from Stella, I think.

When I shared tidbits of this story with my own Mother this morning (who had called in a panic last night because the Food Network didn't seem to be airing the story about The Honest Kitchen and I had to call her back RIGHT AWAY! which I did this morning because we all know that calling me and leaving an urgent message works about as well as calling Santa Claus and asking for a pink pony!) that there had been a very excellent chance of my impending death by avocado and wasn't she happy that she was instead talking to me and that I did not, in fact, die she actually said, "Jennifer, only the good die young.  And you and I are NOT on that list!"

Well, then.  Perhaps all of this worry is just over nothing. 

Honestly, Must We Have TV?

It's official.  I have the world's most spoiled dogs.  It is my own fault, I know.  I did it.  I allowed this to happen.  I did not teach them that no means no and I really forgot to teach them how to say please.

Ever since we got up this morning the two of them have been yammering non-stop about how we are not as good as all the other dog houses on the block because we do not have cable television.  How listening to NPR all day long while I'm at the office is just so BORING and how they want to be able to surf hundreds of channels and how I am the world's worst possible dog mama because I have denied them, DENIED THEM, the joy that is Animal Planet their entire short doggie lives.

Good Grief. 

Of course Stella is the loudest complainer.  I have a sneaking suspicion that she's putting Buddha up to all of this and that Buddha really does enjoy listening to NPR all day.  He often likes to talk to me about the things he's heard when I come home at the end of the day and it is because of him that I actually have been far more informed than I want to be about our impending economic doom.  Buddha is really pissed off about the AIG bonuses, but he's even more angry about the way that Congress is handling their own mistakes!  He feels it is totally wrong that they're enacting new taxes to essentially make up for their own initial mistakes.  Buddha insists, to me, that they're reneging on their initial good faith contracts and that it's a very slippery slope when we allow Congress such free reign.  It has his dander up, let me tell you.

But back to this yammering about the cable television.  I have continued to put my foot down.  To say no.  To tell the dogs that they will just have to extract invitations from their other dog friends who DO have cable television for play dates if watching Animal Planet is just so important.  Then Stella, who is nothing if not dramatic, rolled over, played dead, and told me that she was not going to stand up again until I promised to get the Food Network for our television and it MUST HAPPEN BEFORE MONDAY.

The Food Network?  Home of Rachel Ray (who is so saccharin she makes me want to throw up on my own shoes) and Paula (how much butter can one person consume) Dean?  The only reason I can possibly think to ever have the Food Network in our home would be for the occasional re-run of very old episodes of Iron Chef.  Episodes where they use really strange and odd ingredients like sea urchin and they turn it into ice cream!  Stella is quite lovely and sweet but she has yet to actually cook me a meal (dead mouse not withstanding) and so this demand for the Food Network has me quite perplexed.

Turns out that The Honest Kitchen is going to be featured on the Food Network on Monday.  Stella and Buddha are spokesdogs for The Honest Kitchen.  They have been eating Honest Kitchen food since they were just 8 weeks old.  Honest Kitchen's line of dehydrated human foods, specially formulated for pets, makes it really simple for me to cook for the dogs twice a day every single day.  And Stella and Buddha LOVE it.  Which is also lovely.  I will often supplement the food with some of my own vegetarian leftovers (whatever I'm cooking for myself that evening will get tossed in) but I can truthfully say that this food has been such a godsend for both me and my dogs.  They have beautiful coats, they do not have stinky breath, and they have beautiful teeth.  Plus they lick the bowl clean.  Every single time.

So that explains it.  This sudden request for television in our non-television household.  Stella really wants to see Lucy and Laurette and and all her dog friends at the Honest Kitchen when they're on the Food Network on Monday evening.  I've told her that I will try my best to get one of our friends to let us come over so she can watch it, but that we are NOT getting television in our house.  We just are not.  She'll have to continue to SUFFER with NPR.  Poor puppy.

Oh, and now she's asking for a plane ticket.  To San Diego.  For a tea party.  It just does not end with her.  However, the rest of you really should know, especially if you're in the San Diego area and have a dog, that the Honest Kitchen is hosting a dog tea party at Cafe Merlot on March 24. 

Here are the details:

The Honest Kitchen Hosts High Tea for Pups at Café Merlot

We are teaming up with a local restaurant to Introduce our
New Herbal Tea for Dogs and a Pet-Friendly Menu.

The Honest Kitchen and Café Merlot, a chic fine dining establishment located in the Bernardo Winery, have partnered to host a High Tea for Pups, a one-of-a-kind, whimsical tea party for pooches to celebrate the launch of Lithe Tea, The Honest Kitchen's newest product – and raise money for San Diego Humane Society.

The event will take place at Café Merlot, on March 24th from 2:30-4:30 p.m., at:
Café Merlot at the Bernardo Winery,
13330 Paseo del Verano Norte,
San Diego, Calif. 92128.

San Diego dog owners are invited to bring their pooches to sample the delectable and healthy offerings being provided by The Honest Kitchen and Café Merlot.

While the event is free-of-charge, attendees are encouraged to offer a $5 donation for each cup of Lithe herbal tea. The Honest Kitchen will donate 100 percent of all contributions to the San Diego Humane Society to support their programs and services.

You can RSVP at 619.985.9519 or via email at Natalie@rkpr.net, or just show up!

That herbal tea that they're introducing, Lithe tea, I helped them to develop.  It actually is based on a formula that I originally created for Clyde in his senior years.  It's a GREAT formula and it really does work.  The herbs in that tea are terrific for the entire musculoskelatal system and includes some great support for joints and ligaments.  I credit it for improving and extending Clyde's quality of life for many of his 17 years.  It makes me happy and proud to be a part of the Honest Kitchen family and to have that tea shared with so many well-loved dogs. 

But I Want It Now!

Stella: Oh, your Nakedness?  You know that big empty wall space we have in the living room?  The one where you just can not decide what should go there?

Nakedjen:  Stella!  You're talking!  Um, yes.  The empty wall.  I actually do have plans for that wall.  I just haven't shared them with you.

Stella:  You do?  It can't possibly be as great as my idea.  My idea is the best.  It really is.  It is.  It is.  It is.

Nakedjen:  Stella, stop bouncing on the couch.  And drop the ball.  Please.  It's hard to understand you when you're talking with your mouth full.  So what is this brilliant idea?

Stella:  I think it is the perfect place for a Fotomural.  Of me, of course.  Your most favorite dog of all the dogs in all the world.

Nakedjen:  Stella, have you been surfing the Internet again while I've been at work?  I thought we talked about that?! 

Stella:  Um, but Nakedness.  I promise on all four paws that all I've been doing is voting!  Over and over and over again.  I haven't once looked at kitty porn.  Not once.  Buddha does that.  Not me!!  Buddha is the one who gets on your computer and fills it with all those Kitty Porn pictures.  Buddha!  Buddha! Buddha! 

Nakedjen:  Stella.  Really.  Buddha will hear you.  And what makes you think I love you more than him?

Stella:  Because I'm so absolutely, positively, breathtakingly gorgeous.  That's why.  Come on, your Nakedness.  You love me the most and you know it. 

Nakedjen:  Stella!  Buddha has bigger ears than you.  He can hear you from the other room. 

Stella:  Nakedness, he has no idea we're talking about him.  Remember, he rides the short bus. 

Nakedjen:  Stella!  That's enough!  It's when you act like this that I wonder who exactly your mother is?

Stella:  So, the Fotomural?  Are you going to get it?  Of me??  Puhlease??  It will be beautiful right on that wall.  Then all the world can gaze upon the glory that is me!!

Nakedjen:  Darling Stella.  While I agree that you're a very lovely dog, worthy of a Fotomural, really and truly, I think that if I'm going to do this, I should perhaps celebrate both you and Buddha, no?

Stella:  No! No! No!  Not at all.  His big boxy body would just be a huge distraction on the wall.  But I will be a work of art!!!

Nakedjen:  Oh, yes, Stella.  You are most certainly a work of art. 

Stella:  So, Nakedness, you'll get one?  You'll put me up there, larger than life?  I'll be immortalized and glorified?  Everyone will bow to me as they come through the door?

Nakedjen:  Stella, how many people exactly come through that door? 

Stella:  Well, zero.  But once that Fotomural of me is on the wall, you'll have people clamouring to get inside.  I promise.  It will absolutely change your social life.  And, um, Nakedness?  You kind of need to change your social life.  This mural of me?  Of beautiful, beguiling me?  This will do that!

Nakedjen:  Enough about my social life, Stella.  I'll think about it.  We do need something for that wall...

Stella:  Yes!!!  Me! Me! Me!!  Me!!!!!

Nakedjen:  Stella.  Please stop doing back flips off the ceiling.  Show off.

*********

Transform your house, your social life, and celebrate the very most important people (or pets) in your life.

Fotomural by Colorblind Productions make an awesome party decoration or a terrific wall installation, especially in a child's bedroom or for that big old living room wall you just are unsure how to decorate.

For art that is uniquely you and uniquely yours, that transforms your space and your life. Fotomural. 

(This fab mom-owned start-up biz is up for an award as a 2009 Leading Mom in Biz.  Go vote and then go get a mural for your wall!). 

Lá Fhéile Pádraig

 

With the surname, Neal, there is no question that I am Irish.  Those are my decidedly non-naked ancestors.  My cousin's wife, Patty Neal, who is our family historian, recently sent all of us these pictures to see if we could possibly identify any of the folks in them.  We're all fairly clueless and how sad is that?  I do think it is important to at least have an idea about those who came before us, if for no other reason than to not make the same mistakes! 

 

I completely forgot that today was St. Patrick's Day until I got to the office and they asked me where my "green" was.  My green?  I'm always green!  I am an environmentalist.  But that wasn't what they meant at all and it took me a few seconds to realize that I had blown it with my head to toe all in black uniform.  My heart is green, though.  Remember, I'm Irish!  This vegetarian grew up eating corned beef and cabbage.  In fact, I was taught how to cook it practically from the moment I exited the womb. 

 

So, I may not know who those people are, but I do know that they're my Irish ancestors in fancy dress.   Perhaps they were celebrating St. Patrick's Day and were going to march in the parade in Boston (where all the Neals live...if you're a Neal in New England, we're related!).  It's an official public holiday today in Ireland.  I believe I should follow in the foots of my dear ancestors and spend the day in homage with a decent beer and a rousing chorus of Amhrán na bhFiann.  Who's in?

Forty-Five Days

My head hurts.  I told a friend last night that while I'm quite grateful for all the work that is flowing my way these days, I think I need to learn how to say no once in a while.  Within seconds he had me saying "NO" to him to show me just how easy it is to do. 

This week kicked me all over the place.  My life, usually, is one where Friday is just another day.  But today I actually woke up and said, "THANK GODDESS IT IS FRIDAY!"  See?  Kicking me all over.

I have a laundry list of things I really want to write about, not the least of which is the 45 day legislature session that just ended for Utah.  Um, that's it.  We got forty-five precious days of their time and I have now learned that is it until next year.  WTF??  Of course I have spent the last 20 years living in California where the State Legislature never sleeps because they can't even figure out a budget, but just 45 days?  Out of 365?  What on earth are we paying these people for and why are they spending MY tax dollars for their very own medical health insurance when they only work for 45 days?  Perhaps what I should be asking is how can I get elected? 

I ask this sincerely because in the last 45 days the Utah Legislature has made some pretty bone headed moves as far as I'm concerned and if I've learned anything in this life it is that if I want to change something I need to just get in their and do it.  So if I want to really change the laws in this state and the way they do business, well, I need to become one of the voting members of the legislature.  Sitting here ranting on my blog is going to do nothing except, well, hurt your eyes and ears.

45 days. Really.  I want to know what those good men and women of the legislature DO for the rest of the year?  That's 320 days.  And again can I please be a part of their health plan? 

Meanwhile, my most favorite coffee person in the whole world was distressed this morning!  He owns the Coffee Garden and my Friday mornings are the very best because Alan makes my lattes.  Perfectly.  In fact, he knows if it's NOT perfect and will dump it and make me another one before he even gives it to me.  That's how perfect. 

Today he told me that Sam Weller's, the bookshop where the other location of the Coffee Garden is located, will be moving.  And what that means for his coffee?  He does not know.  He told me today he's just going to keep making coffee until the lights go out.   He's worried if the new location will include a spot for his coffee?  He's concerned about the plight of the five employees at that current location.  "Can I somehow give them work here at this location?  I can't have them lose their jobs!?"

Xango, one of Utah's uber famous MLM's that makes me batty, is laying off 30% of its workforce.  My cousin actually sells Xango juice and tried to rope me into selling it as well, but honestly, I don't do MLM's.  I particularly don't do MLM's for products that claim all kinds of undocumented health benefits and cost $100 a month for your "supply". 

I told my sister recently that my own tea orders had been dropping off since before Christmas and it is because my teas are considered a "luxury" item for so many people.  Yes, they're specifically for your health.  Your good health!  But I know that for most they consider them, despite the health benefits, a true "extra" and something that is not a necessity when money becomes tight. 

I honestly do not blame them.  I mean, really.  However, it's my livelihood.  So I just have to hope that the folks who do understand just how beneficial the tea is for their own health will continue to purchase it, bad economy or not. 

So, is it any wonder that I'm considering a job with the Legislature?  I'll bring the "Libertea" and make sure that we all have open hearts and open minds.  Now, in Utah, that might even necessitate 46 days instead of 45!

All Those Obama Dollars

As mentioned, I was in Las Vegas over the weekend.  It was a really brief trip and honestly I think brief is best when it comes to visits to Las Vegas.

1.  My flight to Las Vegas from Salt Lake City was completely full on Thursday night.  I wanted to do some sort of NPR interview of all the passengers and ask them how with our current economic plight they could possibly be justifying a trip to Las Vegas right now?  One that necessitated leaving on a Thursday evening and missing a work day on Friday?  Of course they could have all asked me the same thing! 

My trip was necessary because my friends had chosen to get married at the Las Vegas Wedding Chapel on Friday.  Yes, I could have flown down on Friday morning, but as the wedding was at 6:00 p.m., the flight choices available on Friday actually made it rather dicey about arriving on time.  So I chose to fly Thursday night.  But what about all those other people on my flight?

Even more interesting was that Caesar's Palace, where I was staying, was completely SOLD OUT.  Sold out?!  Not a single room available in a casino that has probably a thousand rooms?  I'll say it again.  Who are all these people?  And why do they feel compelled to come to Las Vegas right now?

2.  The wedding was truly beautiful.  I cried.  I rarely cry at weddings, but my friend, Renee was just beaming true happiness and it was just infectious and I couldn't help myself.  Before R&R's wedding, I got to witness a "walk-up" wedding at the Las Vegas wedding chapel.  I had heard about these, but didn't think they TRULY happened.  But there it was.  A guy and a girl walking right up to the walk-up window and saying "I do" and voila.  They had done the deed.  Right there in the drive way! 

3.  As I mentioned, I fell in love.  But it is important to remember that one shouldn't necessarily believe everything you read on the Internet.

 

Jill-Ann is a beautiful and lovely woman.  I'm sure if the circumstances had allowed for it, she'd now be my wife.  Which is more my point.  Las Vegas seems to be missing out on the same-sex marriage bandwagon.  It seems like such a natural for a place like Las Vegas.  Don't you think?  The mayor was bemoaning how the city needs more revenue.  How they're going to legalize prostitution within the city limits to take advantage of that income.  Well, hello?  Perhaps they should embrace same-sex marriages, as well?  Take that Prop 8!  There's just as many gays and lesbians and transgendered folks who might be happy to get married in Las Vegas as there are straight couples.  Give them their weddings, too!

4.  I had a very difficult time eating in Las Vegas.  I also grew quite frustrated with the Las Vegas tourist.  Gah.  So.damn.lazy.  There are moving sidewalks and escalators all over that entire city.  For whatever reason, the average Las Vegas tourist has completely forgotten that he or she has legs that actually are capable of propelling their bodies forward all by themselves and when they land on these moving sidewalks or escalators they STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS like frozen statues.  It's like someone has said RED LIGHT and they're afraid to move until the sidewalk stops moving! 

I pissed off so many people with my "excuse mes" as I insisted upon walking on the moving sidewalks and actually walking up and down all the escalators.  My legs work!  It is not necessary for me to have the sidewalk move me forward!  If an alien were to land in Las Vegas, I'd swear they'd decide that we were one very fat, very lazy, very stoic and unhappy nation who only seems to yell with happiness when the craps table hits the right number! 

5.  Which brings me to five.  The gambling.  I didn't gamble this weekend.  Because I'm not exactly feeling flush with money to just flush down a toilet.  And if I were, I think I'd be buying a plane ticket to London not gambling on a slight chance that I might hit a jackpot in some random casino.  But every table and every slot machine in every casino was jam packed this weekend.  People were determined to "win".  They were determined to turn their $20 into $200.  They were determined to hit the jackpot.  And they all looked so unhappy!  No one was smiling.  It was just so sad. 

All those Obama dollars were exchanging hands faster than chicken dinners at a church function.  But it was mostly a one way street into the casino coffers.  The casinos may be crying that their profits are down, but their rooms are filled, their tables are hopping and no one seems to be winning so I'm unsure what they're complaining about?!  The economic stimulus seems to be alive and well in Vegas.  I'm just not sure how very much it's doing for the rest of us?!

Finally, I posted it last night, but I can never resist getting naked in Vegas.  I think it is the city where I have gotten naked the most!  And it was a wedding.  It's tradition that I get naked with the bride!  Renee was a terribly good sport (as were all her friends).  It takes a team to pull this off.  They were such a great team.  And while I was getting naked, my shoes were having an adventure all their own.  There's more to that story.  I'll save it for another time when I get the pictures from a certain vixen in Amsterdam.

When in Vegas...

I am at the airport.  Shout out to Las Vegas airport, by the way, for free all accessible wireless.  Well done. 

I have lots to share and lots to tell.  I will.  Soon.  For now, when in Vegas...

Did I happen to mention that I now have a fiancee in Amsterdam? We fell in love at first sight at the Vegas Wedding Chapel. Our eyes met across the crowded waiting area and, well, the rest is history.

Oh the things that happen in Vegas!