Fashion? Fashion? Seriously??
I can hear all of you now. I mean, let's face it. If anything, this blog is the antithesis of a fashion blog. I am the girl who encourages all of us to not wear anything at all and celebrate our bodies no matter what size or shape they may be. To eschew the images that the media keeps force feeding us and to celebrate, yes CELEBRATE, our bodies right this very minute and love them because they are OUR BODIES and the ones that carry us through the trials and tribulations and beautiful moments of all our days and if we can't love our own bodies, well, than how can we possibly love anyone else?
Every single one of you knows this much. I know that you do. That is why I give you absolute permission to roll your eyes, sigh heavily and say "REALLY?" as loud as any teenager and even stomp from the room.
Go on. You can leave now.
First, my hair.
Emily Gilmore decided that my hair was nearing a disaster of EPIC PROPORTIONS and that if she didn't call in the calvary otherwise known as AVEDA, there might be a death in the family. Hers or mine we were not sure, but since it was also the Professor's birthday she decided she'd couch the entire covert operation as a PRESENT for HIM. She can be clever, that Emily Gilmore.
I will share that I do not own a single utensil meant for the care of hair. Not a one. Other than fingers, if those count? The curls on my head are natural. The colors on my head are not. Emily Gilmore took one look at the conglomeration of current colors atop my head and decided that the Professor couldn't possibly like waking up to THAT every morning, but more importantly she didn't want to look at it, either, or have the conservative population of Salt Lake City wondering whose daughter I might be.
So she sent me off to the Aveda Salon to have them please fix it. Pronto. As a birthday present for The Professor. It took nearly an entire day. Lots of products and potions and utensils that I do not own. I will share that the gods of the universe were with me because my stylist who was randomly chosen for me just happened to grow up on a BEET FARM IN OREGON (you can not make that up) and she absolutely spoke Nakedjen.
I went from THIS:
Besides the blow-out (which all stylists seem to think is such a great idea even though I will never replicate it) she did manage to even out all those mixed-up colors in my hair and cut off three very awful dead inches. I promised Stevie (my new best friend at AVEDA) that I'll let her be in charge now. I mean she grew up on a Beet Farm. It's like I'm putting my hair and heart into the very talented and slightly deranged hands of Dwight Schrute. What can possibly go wrong?
Speaking of slightly deranged, I am. Over these sunglasses. I don't even wear sunglasses if we're going to be truthful and honest about it. I can't stand having things on my face. So I won't wear them despite having blue eyes and hearing over and over and over and over again that those of us who have these blue eyes are supposed to wear sunglasses because of possible cataract damage. I know. I hear the warnings. As the seven year old who currently shares my life with me will tell you, "You never follow the laws."
I can't stop obsessing over these, though. It's that moon and stars, especially, I think. Something about those that make them seem especially alluring. To me. The girl who likes to imagine she might have fallen from the stars to this planet. I know?!! As my grandmother would say, "Jennifer, I'm sending you right back to whatever planet you came from!"
Dreamy. I've got far more important things, though, on which to spend the dollars that happen to come my way. Like dog food. And health insurance. Oh, and kombucha. You know, the little things.
Did I mention the shoes? I did buy these. Because, you know, a girl, even a naked one, can never have too much glitter. Especially in Utah. They make me VERY TALL. I think they're perfect for an Easter parade. No matter what you're wearing with them. Or perhaps even if you're wearing nothing else at all. I happen to know a certain professor who would actually like that little bunny outfit very much. Ahem.
And how are all of you?!