nakedjen

Real Women

I'm sharing this email with all of you because, well, Ashley said I could share it.  Her email really touched me.  Some days, I will admit, I wonder if I am truly reaching the audience that I hope to reach with Nakedjen.  Yes, this is a blog about me.  Yes this is a blog about my life.  Yes, I drone on and on about my dogs and their trials and tribulations.  And I also talk a lot about my marriage to DearSweetDave and the trials and tribulations of that, as well.  Of course, I also mutter about the environment quite a bit and you often hear speaking for the trees.  Or even encouraging you to eat an organic diet and to walk more than you drive.  All of these things are quite true. 

But the reason I started writing Nakedjen, the reason I get naked and share the photos of myself on line, is because I want all of us to appreciate the bodies that we have.  To love ourselves.  Just the way that we are.  All bodies are beautiful.  Our media will have us believe otherwise, as many of us who pick up any big fat glossy magazine these days can attest. 

I have already applauded Dove on this blog for being bold enough to feature women of all body types in their advertisements.  I will also admit that when I saw their advertisement featuring these women on television recently I was actually shocked.  It took me a minute to actually believe my eyes.  Yes, I was thrilled to see all those different and beautiful body types.  But I was so entranced with what I was seeing I couldn't begin to tell you what product they were selling.  I am hopeful that other companies will follow Dove's lead and start using real women in their advertising, as well.  But then we all know that I am also an eternal optimist.

But enough about me.  Let me share with you Ashley's very kind email.  In her brief visit to Nakedjen, she really got what I am all about.  I love that I was able to touch her life in such a special way.  And I hope that for many of you, I'm touching your lives, too.

Hi! My name is Ashley, and I'm a 19 year old female. I occasionally spend way too many long hours 'stumbling' online (terrific, by the way) and came across your page just today. I wanted to send you an email just to let you know that you are a huge inspiration to me.

I have had alot of problems with my body, and accepting myself for who I am. I have never been overweight or obese by any means, I'm 5'6 and 149 lbs, but when you see so many tiny, skinny little supermodels, one begins to doubt themselves. I had tried dieting, was up and down, trying billions of weight loss tricks, and nothing worked. So discouraging. Soon after, it started to affect how I took care of myself, and even my sex drive!  The idea of beauty society has created for my generation is, in general, disgusting. Once I had that distorted image in my head, not even my fiance saying "you look great!" could change my mind. Sad thing is, I know I'm not the only one.

Your site really helped me to realize how to appreciate my body. REAL women don't get their freckles airbrushed out in pictures, and our boobs don't always look fake! REAL women have curves, and sometimes, REAL women's clothes cut in or just don't fit right. REAL women have bad hair days, and REAL women don't have personal make-up artists (sigh...). And the one thing that I know now (that I want to kick myself for not seeing), is that REAL women aren't computerized!!!!

Thank you so much!! You have changed my entire outlook an life and the way I view myself as  a woman. Feel free to use my email, or post it, or whatever, I just think that the world needs more people like you to get the word out there!!!!

-Ashley Nicole

Happy Naked Friday, everyone.  Get naked.  Spend some time loving the beautiful you that you are. 

 

More Than Just NakedJen

On Saturday, I invited myself to celebrate Bubble's first birthday.  It was a really lovely party, a gathering of some folks who I already knew and many that I did not, with amazing food and laughter and beautiful children who were quite busy adorning themselves with sparkly things and glittery paint and just the right balloon animal. 

At one point, Gwendomama mentioned to someone at the party that I was Nakedjen.  As in THE Nakedjen.  From the Internet.  The one she talks about all the time.  The one who just gets naked whenever.  The one who got naked at the Mexican restaurant when she was there and she missed the opportunity! 

That Nakedjen.

But then it didn't stop there.  She loaded this blog.  On her very large flat screen monitor that was sitting right on the buffet table.  There was a smorgasbord of food and behind it was me, upside down on a bed, naked.  Well, I suppose it's not a party until someone gets naked, as I always say, and it was probably a good thing that it was me.

Anyway, everyone was, as you might imagine, quite curious about exactly what it meant to be Nakedjen.  Why I did it?  What was the purpose?  What was it all about? 

So I happily explained that I am quite comfortable in my body.  That being naked for me is a celebration of my body and of myself.  I also explained that I was very tired of the distorted images of women that we are constantly fed by the media that make women feel that they are imperfect.  Or not quite good enough.  I was upset by a media that was constantly shoving the photo shopped perfected Barbie Doll images at us from the cover of magazines and television and billboards and was doing its best to create a very large population of women who absolutely hated everything about themselves. 

I wanted to change that.  And I was going to start with me.

So I started writing Nakedjen.  It was my very subtle political platform.  Because obviously I chose to be naked about my entire life, not just that particular agenda.  Once I really started writing Nakedjen, I decided to write completely from my heart and soul.  Bare it all.  To be truly naked.  And raw.  And very real.

I also decided that I would post naked pictures of myself.  That, I will admit, came more from my job at the time than from anything else.  I was the product manager for an on-line sex chat community.  Basically I was working in the porn industry.  And I didn't like what I was seeing at all.  Because the women who were being served up to the men were not REAL.  Men were paying lots of money for the fantasy of these women (and there's nothing wrong with fantasy!), but I decided that I would give them a bona-fide, genuine, absolutely 100% real naked woman. 

Now, let me reiterate that for me it wasn't about being sexual.  That honestly has never been my intention.  I'm just me.  I realize on an intellectual level that there are plenty of men (and women) out there that find my naked body attractive.  Or even, gasp, HOT as they like to tell me.  But for me, it honestly was just about saying, "Look, here I am!  Nakedjen!  This is my body.  I love every inch of it and think it's beautiful.  And I think your naked body is absolutely perfect and beautiful, too!"

So I shared all of that with the folks who were gathered in that small room on Saturday night while I was lying naked behind the buffet.  And the women who were gathered there seemed to really get it.  They all launched into their own stories of shame about their bodies.  And how they wished they could be brave enough to be naked.  That kind of thing.

As I was sitting there one of the men, a grandfather, came over and sat at the table.  And he started reading Nakedjen.  But then he noticed the naked pictures.  (And we know there are quite a lot!) And he started to search for each and every one.  I was sitting right next to him as he did this.  I could tell that he was getting visibly aroused.  Yet he didn't stop.  He just kept searching for the next naked photo.

So this is where it got weird for me.  And it also surprised me that it got weird for me.  As I said, I intellectually know that there are men who find my pictures sexually arousing.  For whatever reason.  And I'm totally okay with that.  But when this man who was sitting right next to me started actually salivating over my pictures, I got a little freaked out.  I wanted to say, "Hey, it's just a naked body!"  And at the same time I was wondering if I should ask him if he'd like me to take my clothes off so he could see the real thing?!  Meanwhile, I was so shocked, I wasn't able to say anything at all.  I just sat there watching him watch me with a strange curiosity. 

When I shared all of this with DearSweetDave last night, he had some valuable insight for me.  He asked me if I could perhaps try to embrace the idea that my pictures are, in fact, erotic.  That I am a beautiful woman with a beautiful body that turns men (and some women) on.  Could I possibly own that and call it my own? 

I believe that I can.  Internet, I give you the beautiful and erotic me.  In another picture taken yesterday by the wonderful Dave Winer.  Who has joined the ranks of "official Nakedjen photographer". 

NaBloPoMo links for today:

Attempted Motherhood

Mixed with Sugar

The Hero Workshop

P.S. If you're curious about my visit yesterday with Dave (and the pictures) he was kind enough to write about it on his blog.  So you can go read about it here. Or you can wait for my Film at 11.  But if you're a regular reader, we all know how that goes.

When Did Breastfeeding Become Such a Big Issue?

Mothering Magazine is hosting a contest to create an international Breast Feeding symbol.  This one, though not one of the finalists, is actually my favorite.  I think it's a good idea that we have an international Breast Feeding icon that signals to women that there's a clean and safe place to breastfeed their child.  I also believe, however, that if a baby is hungry, a woman should be absolutely free to breastfeed that child where ever she is.  Period. 

My friend, Gwendolyn, just recently had her own rather unpleasant confrontation over breastfeeding her son in public. 

You would think that because we live in Santa Cruz, our small liberal coastal community where even I can walk naked down the beach without being arrested, that breastfeeding would be such a non-issue.

But apparently, it is not.  At least for some people.

I'm not a mother, don't have children, have never breastfed and have no plans to ever do so, but even I'm incensed on Gwendolyn's behalf. 

If we forbid our mothers to feed our children what nature intended them to eat when our children are hungry, then we are doing a disservice to all of humanity.  Not just their mothers.

Breastfeeding a baby is natural.  It's healthy.  It's best. 

I urge you the next time you feel squeamish or uncomfortable with the woman who is breastfeeding her child in public to just remember that that mother is providing her child with the perfect food.  And then just quietly leave her alone.  She's just doing her job.  As nature intended. 

Dove. Thank you.

I don't think I need to say anything more.  But I will say this.  For three years I have been writing this blog and sharing with you how our perceptions of beauty are completely distorted by the media.

My deepest gratitude to Dove for taking such a strong stand and for their campaign for real beauty.  They have the ability to touch far many more people than I with their message.

As your sister and your friend, I encourage everyone reading this to share this with your sisters, your girlfriends, your mothers and especially with your young daughters.  Together, we can change our perception of beauty. 

One body at a time.

 

Stop the Madness

Paris Fashion Week is in full swing.  I'm not going to talk about the fashions, although we all know that I'm a girl who absolutely loves her fashion.  I'm going to talk about the models. 
There is lots of buzz in the press about just how thin some of the models are and what these images are doing to the delicate impressionable psyches of our daughters.

But not just our daughters.  What about us?  Their mothers, their aunts, their grandmothers, their sisters, their friends.  These images being beamed around the globe, these women walking the catwalk who are supposed models of perfection, they weigh on our own psyches, too.

 

My sisters, my mothers, my friends, I encourage you to try your best to see the skeletons before you.

While I won't condemn these women for their x-ray thin bodies because I have no idea, at all, the circumstances that have brought them to this state (there are, dear friends, those of us who are just naturally veryveryvery thin), I will encourage each and every one of you to love the very body that you have.  And to encourage your daughters, your sisters, your mothers, your grandmothers to do the same.

Our bodies, every single one of them, are beautiful.  We do not need to be walking skeletons to portend beauty!

We can eat healthy foods and nourish ourselves, our spirit, our souls.  Skeletons may make a grand fashion statement on Halloween, but they're rather out of fashion the other 364 days of the year. 

We can have fat thighs.  A pudgy stomach.  Breasts!!

 

We can look like this.

Let us love every body, but let us start with our own.

An Addendum:

I was contacted today by someone who informed me that the photos associated with this blog entry were photoshopped and alarmist and not real.

Since I like to be about the truth here at Nakedjen, I've elected to remove those photos and replace them with others that are from actual runway shots and to the best of my knowledge are representative of what I'm discussing.

I'd also like to point all of you who happen to land here to THIS ARTICLE from Newsweek.  They have eloquently articulated a lot of what I'm trying to say and have some very interesting facts and figures about how our children view their bodies and what we might want to do about it.

Chocolate Cake For Everyone, Except For Me!

I took this picture on Friday morning.  My intent was that it would be a post for 10:10, but then I forgot to bring my camera to Lulu Carpenter's where I was meeting GraceD for coffee and chatting and planning of her fabulous Woolf Camp.  (You're all invited, by the way.  Don't you want to come?  Come!).

When I look at this picture now, all I can say is that it is a VERY GOOD THING that I have just joined the gym today.  It is quite obvious that I have enjoyed the holidays and my birthday just a tad more than I should have.

Chocolate cake for everyone, indeed!

No more chocolate cake for me.  I usually really do try to avoid sugar.  And chocolate.  Both are terrible triggers for my seizures.  I'm lucky I haven't been seizing all over the planet these past few months because I can honestly say that very few days have passed that some form of sugar laden something has not been consumed by moi. 

Look at those hips and thighs.  They're showing off all that yummy sugary goodness just for you, dear Internet. 

Gah.

But I joined the gym.  Today!  As noted here, I turned 42 last week.  This little body of mine is NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.  If I truly intend to live to be 136 (and I do, as insane as that lofty goal may sound), I better get my ASS IN GEAR, as they say, and really start getting this body of mine in condition to actually last for another 94 years. 

So, no more chocolate cake.  Please.  I think I've had enough to last me for quite a while.

Flirting 101

I realized today that I am quite out of practice when it comes to flirting with members of the opposite sex.  Member of my own sex?  No problem.  But boys?  Not so much.  It's like I've lost all the skills I honed in high school and college and those ever important early years in my twenties.  Is this a use it or lose it skill?  Isn't flirting like riding a bicycle?  Something you only need to learn once?

Uncle Charlie's Summer Camp is back in session.  The young, fresh, nubile boys and girls of UCSC have descended upon our town once again and are staking claim to our waves and our cafes and calling them their own.  These are the beautiful children of the UC system, quite frankly.  And why not?  They've chosen to pursue their higher education in Santa Cruz, of all places.  At a college where you can elect not to receive grades and actually take surfing for credit.  Where as much emphasis is put on what party you're going to attend on Saturday night as what party you're voting in the next election.  This is not the school of rocket scientists.  This is the school of sun-kissed surfer boys, kick-ass babes on mountain bikes and the requisite round out of trustafarians.

While I'm completely floored and flattered that these boys who are running amok in our town think that I am anywhere NEAR the same age bracket as they, I still find myself completely tongue-tied by their bold flirtations and come-ons.  There I am, walking a puppy, bopping along with my iPod, quite oblivious to most things around me, and the beautiful half-naked dripping wet surfer boy is smiling, making eye contact, asking me all about the dog, then all about me, then asking if I'll be back tomorrow.  Goodness.  While my seven shades of red cheeks certainly belay my attempt at cool, it's all I can do to keep standing, not mumble, and not dash off like a ferret in search of a very deep hole.  I'm absolutely sure that Peter Funt is going to jump out from behind a bush at any moment and yell, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"  How else to explain this sudden fawning from these boys?

It would be one thing if this was a rare occurrence.  And perhaps it's happening with such frequency because the dogs are getting a total of six walks a day.  That's a lot of walks with a puppy.  But I can't help but wonder if perhaps I'm being wound up?  Is this not some huge prank?  Has UCSC decided to offer credit to these boys in the form of a class in Flirting 101?  Turn 30 over 40 women to blushing babbling idiots before the end of the semester for 3 credits?  How else do you explain it?

Whatever the reason, I would like to publicly thank those beautiful young men.  Boys, thank you. Really and truly, thank you.   If this is for credit, all I can say is that you certainly deserve A's.  I'm definitely loving the attention, even if I do find myself reverting to complete dorkdom and unable to respond in kind.

Carry on.  This naked woman of Santa Cruz  most definitely thanks you.

Naughty or Nice?

There are some of you who actually received this card in the post.  There are many others of you for whom I did not have a mailing address.  This card is for those of you.  Dave and I wish you the very merriest of merriest holidays, whichever one it is that you choose to celebrate at this time of year.  And we wish you an abundance of nakedness and all the best for 2004.

In related news, I wrote a long post last night, posted it and then deleted it.  I've never done that before. Ever. However, last night I was suddenly gripped with panic because the URL for this site has been included in the holiday cards that we mailed to all our relatives, family and friends.  I suddenly was quite worried about what Uncle Paul might think if he should come here and see this. 

Silly me.  There I am lying stark naked in the banner and I'm concerned about what Uncle Paul might think about a holiday advertisement for a rampant rabbit.  (Note to Uncle Paul:  If you're reading, I hope you'll find it as humorous as I do).   

I believe this is just further proof that I don't find nudes sexual.  Beautiful, absolutely.  Sexual, not on your life.  Nude bodies are all gorgeous in my eyes, but they are gorgeous as the Universe's lovely expression of individuality.  It is our bodies individual differences that make each of us the beautiful souls that we are.  I never cease to be amazed at that.

Go get naked, hug your loved ones, and have yourself a holly jolly holiday.

Naked Friday

Today is Naked Friday.  Every Friday is Naked Friday, but today is the first Naked Friday here.  For those of you not familiar with Naked Fridays, I'll provide a few pointers.  Naked Fridays are sort of like taking Casual Fridays to a whole new level.  In my effort to encourage everyone to become more comfortable in their own skins and to celebrate their own unique and beautiful bodies, I'm always telling people to get naked. 

I believe if we all got naked a little more often there'd be a whole lot more love in the world and a lot less hate.  Why?  Because when you're naked you're just plain out there.  You've got nothing to hide.  You're who you are, no strings attached. 

Now there are quite a lot of people who get squeamish when I suggest that they get naked.  There's a lot of self-loathing going on in this world.  People are embarassed by their naked bodies.  So I encourage these folks to try some naked minutes on for size.  And those who are brave enough?  Well, Naked Fridays are their graduation day!   

So it's finally Friday.  Time to get naked.  I promise that once you get used to it, Fridays will become even more cause for celebration than they already are.  Because being naked is quite possibly the best thing there is. 

The Number No One Can See

Two things caught my eye in this morning's Wall Street Journal.  One was this.  I don't feel compelled to truly discuss it here because it's more related to the business that I am in, but it has far-reaching implications, I believe.  I don't know how many of you have heard about Skype?  In their first week alone they claimed over 1,000,000 downloads.  Now being associated with KaZaA certainly doesn't hurt their download rate, but I do think we're on the cusp of a revolution in the way that people think about both the internet and their PC's and what both are capable of providing.  It would be wise for a device manufacturer of some sort to lead the parade and give us the familiar phone that has presence awareness and just plain works, but also does all those things that good old Microsoft is promising with giving you your communications the way you want them when you want them and how you want them.  But I said I wasn't going to talk about all of this. 

The second article that truly captured my attention was this.  It's no secret that I'm on a quest to become a super model.  It's a ridiculous quest as anyone can see from my pictures posted here.  But in my head, it's what I long to be.  With forty fast approaching, I've suddenly become overwhelmed with making sure that my body is in great shape.  This is a contradiction for me on so many levels.  I'm constantly telling other women (and men) that all bodies are beautiful.  That the images projected to us by the media are just that, "images" that are very hard to obtain and most likely can't be without the aid of an airbrush and a professional team of make-up artists and work-out trainers.  Yet here I am buying into it.  I get up at the crack of dawn and meet my trainer at the gym so I can be a super model.  A super model who is 5 feet nothing and forty years old.  It's completely laughable and I hope you all are laughing along with me. 

So I read this article and learn that Asian women are popping diet pills and getting massages to obtain their picture of svelte.  What is the world coming to I wonder?  I want to ascert that women need to reclaim their power.  We are all goddesses.  Society is killing women with these skewed perceptions of what is beautiful.  I honestly believe that we're going to have serious repurcussions from the generations of women who have denied themselves proper nutrition and have obsessed about a number sewn into the inside of their pants.   A number that no one but they themselves can even see.  A number that means nothing to the people that truly love them. 

I say all of this and yet I will be getting up and going to the gym in the morning.  I, too, need to learn to accept that that number inside my pants is a number that no one but me can see.  I'm working on that.