nakedjen

Wow, I need this beet right now!

In an effort to assure the world that I am not dead, here is some of the living I've been actually living with my life recently.  I'm sharing here, not to say, "Oh look, I'm living my life, isn't it lovely?", but more because, well, this space feels like that old closet up in the attic at this point that's filled with old costumes that I used to wear, that I really love and would never, ever discard.  That analogy doesn't even hold water, really, given that the majority of this blog is actually quite naked. There isn't even a box of costumes here. But there's definitely lots of very old stuff that I could never, ever abandon. It's all very much part of who I am now. Even if sometimes I don't want to actually admit it.

I've got arugula and garlic growing in my backyard thanks to the loving generosity of my sweet professor. Already.  I have barely, quite honestly, survived this long winter of my discontent in Salt Lake City this year, and spent a good portion of it surviving literally on love fumes supplied by him, Lilsalty and my two big black dogs.  The sun has shined for the last four days in a row and I feel like we all need to have a parade down the streets complete with glitter and ponies for everyone.  Patios are filling up, people are coming out of their houses, there's the laughter of children.  I swear, it's like we're all literally waking up and rubbing our eyes and looking at this firey ball in the sky and learning how to actually walk again.

Arugula. In my backyard.

In the front yard, I've got brand new triple grow boxes that will soon have beets and carrots and tomatoes.  I've been drinking raw beet juice concoctions every single day since January 1.  Every single day.  All day long.  I need to share that if you drink raw beet juice concoctions every single day it really does change your body composition.  I got rid of one hell of a parasite infestation that I had no idea I was even hosting.  I'll spare you the details, but wow.  I also seem to now have less wrinkles.  I was told this could happen. I did not believe it.  But after nearly four months on this regime, I can report that it is true. I also have stronger nails and shiny hair and have lost at least 15 pounds.  I did cut out all processed sugar, as well, on January 1, so that may be a contributing factor.  My diet, these days, is primarily vegan, mostly raw, all organic and well I eat a LOT of beets and arugula.  Still, I also drink a lot of espresso.  But, I also drink a lot of kombucha.  I don't know.  All of this works for me and I keep saying that we all have to journey on this planet and find what works best for each of us.  To follow our individual hearts.  If we truly follow our hearts, to do what our hearts call us to do, in all things, I believe we'll do exactly what is best not just for us, but for the planet.

I spend my days these days spreading love where I can. In all the ways that make sense to my heart.  I know that sounds ridiculous to many, probably, because, well, love? How do you spread that? 

You smile at strangers. You give real hugs. You share what you have freely without hesitation. You help the old man at the supermarket with his grocery shopping. You volunteer at the hospital. You pick up the trash in your neighborhood as you walk the kid to school. You take your dog to the assisted living home and let him share his love. You plant a garden for a family or three who don't have one. You help a kid to face his biggest fears. You love a kid that might not be your own. You set books free. You just remember that you are a love muscle and love vibrates in every action that you do.

As dear sweet Tom Robbins says best, “Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets.” ...And love with abandon, friends. Do what feeds your own soul, do that. Follow your bliss. It's how we're all going to save this world.

She had nice eyes. They lit up when she spoke.

 

She had nice eyes. They lit up when she spoke.
You are far more beautiful than you know.
You really are.
I mean it.
See that beautiful person that you are right now and love her.
I do.
Always.

Own Your Glitter.

Tick Tock

Today is my professor's birthday. Forty years ago today, somewhere in Virgina, he came screaming into this world and I'm fairly certain, though I was not there, he immediately changed the lives of every person in his world for the better.  The much better. 

How do I know this?  Well, it's just the kind of person my professor happens to be, truthfully.  I don't say that lightly, at all.  In fact, I say it with quite a bit of trepidation.  I whisper around here, quite a lot, that this is all just some big magical prank that the Universe is playing on me.  Or a fabulous sort of crazy dream.  One where I fell down a long and winding rainbow hued worm hole that somehow landed me in this crazy mixed up place called Utah, in a very Salty City that doesn't have an ocean for as far as I can see.

My professor is part of that dream of mine.  In the list of all of the things I wrote about the person I wanted to come share my life with me and my dogs, he ticked off every single item.  My professor had no idea the list even existed, but into my life he walked, quite by accident, and then after just a mere 24 hours he announced that he was staying. 

That is how it all happened.

I could write all about how he's turning 40 today, how I'm freaking out because I've never ever been in a loving relationship with any person who has been that old and it scares me to think that I'm capable of doing so, but this is about him, not about me. Instead, I'm going to share that in my own head, he's not actually turning 40 today.  He's 39, plus 1.  From now on, in fact, he'll always just be 30-something plus some other really beautiful combination of things.  I never actually know how old I am, so why should I need to know how old he is?

The most important part is that on March 29, 1973 my professor was born with a heart that beats way far outside his chest and brain that is unquestionably the most curious of all the brains that I have ever met.  His world collided with mine and he decided that he'd make the two of our worlds stick together with some sort of magical super glue.  He makes every one of my days better than the day before. Loving him has taught me all the right ways to own my glitter. My professor really is my best gift ever.  I just hope his next 40 years spinning wildly around the sun are just as filled with love as his first 40 have been.

 

Glitter Lives in the Lining of Your Skin

The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue lands on our newstands today.  As is tradition, the beautiful Kate Upton is baring all on the cover, and she'll be at kid's eye level at our grocery check-out stands for all of us to see.  You don't have to look, but if you do, I have something important to share with you.

I want to remind all of you, each and every one, women and men, both, that we can celebrate our own beauty, our own bodies, and that the bodies in these magazines are not exactly real.  They really are just images of a preconceived notion, of the media's hopeful ideal. They are the result of digital manipulation and lots of plastic surgery.

My wish is that all of you will know and remember that you are far more beautiful than a manufactured picture in a magazine and that you are much more than just eye candy.  The body you have is far more capable than just being "hot" and that the very real you, exactly as you are, gives me way more than just a pretty face.

You own your glitter.  Go and share it. Freely.

 

 

This year, we all get ponies.

“The story is told that when Joe was a child his cousins emptied his Christmas stocking and replaced the gifts with horse manure. Joe took one look and bolted for the door, eyes glittering with excitement. 'Wait, Joe, where are you going? What did ol' Santa bring you?' According to the story Joe paused at the door for a piece of rope. 'Brought me a bran'-new pony but he got away. I'll catch 'em if I hurry.' And ever since then it seemed that Joe had been accepting more than his share of hardship as good fortune, and more than his share of shit as a sign of Shetland ponies just around the corner, Thoroughbred stallions just up the road.” ~ Ken Kesey, Sometimes a Great Notion

I told my professor very recently that the I always believe "there's a pony in here somewhere!"  He gave me the quizzical look that I think he reserves just for me when I say the very things that, well, deserve a look just like that and I explained that no matter what life deals us, no matter how awful it gets, there is always a pony.  My pony these days is hot pink, has lots of glitter, sings and dances and has the most incredible eyelashes you have ever seen.  Her name is Pinkie-Pie.  No, really and truly.  You should see her.  She drives the boys in this house positively mad and I think that is all the more reason I have grown so very fond of her.

Anyway, the thing is, this year for each and every one of us who share this journey on this amazing blue ball spinning around the sun that we all call home has been rather full of both hardship and good fortune and especially, perhaps, our own versions of our share of shit.  I want you each to remember that no matter how deep it gets, there's always a pony.  A glittery, beautiful perfectly pink pony. This year, we all get ponies.

And, please remember that I love you the most. Always and all ways. It's absolutely true. I do.

Travel far enough, you meet yourself.

The NakedJen Film Festival continues.  Goes on.  It may just be never-ending.  I am, I can say, having the very best time ever and the good people of New York City have been quite accommodating and friendly and even put me in a film today.  Wasn't that nice of them?  Also, today I got to do something I have never ever done before.  I got to record a podcast with Dave Winer and I loved every single moment of it. This is, I hope, the first of many more to come. 

I am tempted to ask how can it get any better than this?  The thing is, I know it absolutely can and will!  Life is just beautiful just like that.

All the mystery, all the beauty in the world. New York City makes my own heart do a little dance. It makes my head buzz faster. These are all good things.

I'm headed to New York City. For my own little pretty much completely unknown except to those of us who choose to participate film festival.  Even the films who are featured have no idea that they're part of it.  We're naked and disruptive and crazy fun that way. The Nakedjen Film Festival usually happens during Christmas, but, you know, Christmas finds theatres packed to the gills and full of people who are not there necessarily to appreciate the films as much as they're there to escape grumpy old Uncle Saul who showed up again this year for the holiday family gathering and is still berating you, yet again, about why you did not go to law school and have instead decided to work saving the environment from ruin and help poor people who don't have health insurance and goodness knows don't you know that global warming is just a myth and those people, THOSE PEOPLE, need to just get a job and stop asking for a damn handout? Right? Eep!!

Of course, you love sharing a film with exactly those same refugees in a dark theatre who are escaping their own form of Uncle Saul, but at the same time it can sometimes, especially at Christmas, make getting an actual ticket to the actual film you're hoping to see for your own personal festival that you've curated so carefully a little bit challenging.

This year, then, we're doing the festival right now. Before the crush of the holiday escapees. It's stretching over ten days.  Which is extraordinary, really.  A long time for a lot of film viewing and discussion and time for digestion and thinking and inclusion of films that might even have been overlooked if we were cramming this all in during just the quick Christmas crush.

In no particular order and with no particular screening times (currently...but if you'd like to join us, please contact me and we'll sort it out for you, by all means) here's the 2012 Nakedjen Film Festival line-up:

The Sessions
Anna Karenina
Hyde Park on Hudson
Waiting for Sugarman
Silver Linings Playbook
The Central Park Five
Killing Them Softly
Skyfall
Hitchcock

* A quick addendum: This important news about the New York Film Critics Circle awards does not change the line-up for the NJFF, but I will attest that I am surprised, at least a little bit, by what happened with BEASTS (hands down my favorite film from Sundance 2012) and MOONRISE KINGDOM (which holds a very special place in my own heart, but also in the hearts of most quirky film lovers).  That said, I am now even more intrigued by Bigelow's ZERO DARK THIRTY which I was already planning to see as soon as possible, just not for this festival as it hasn't officially opened yet.

I want to give a huge shout out to Dave Winer, right now, for being so very generous and supportive and making the Nakedjen Film Festival always so very much fun. If you want a partner in crime for film festivals, he's your guy.  Also, I need to give a big shout out to Project Latte.  I just discovered them thanks to Twitter and they've been especially helpful in making certain that I will be properly Espressoed (that is a word, people!) while I'm festivaling and watching all these films.  They're full of everything a girl like me needs when it comes to finding the perfect espresso and cafe experience in New York.  I believe you'll find them especially helpful, as well. 

Now, to finish the packing. I'm flying solo. With the requisite glitter, of course.  I am blessed to be loved so dearly by my professor and the small child that sometimes lives with us and my sweet dogs that I am able to go off on these grand adventures, leave a small bit of me here, behind, safely in their hearts with them, and then most definitely come back to their sweet, warm embrace.  I get to go and love the world as my best me and be an even better me because of it.

New York and its beautiful people whom I love so dearly make me buzz just a little bit faster, a little bit brighter, a little bit higher.  I can't wait to get there and give them my best love bomb.

Let's do this.

 

Things You Might Just Like

I know it is that time of year. Feast of the Cash Register time. There was some sort of Black Friday, a Cyber Monday, a Giving Tuesday, maybe even a Fuck All Wednesday?  It seems we all just feast together on a big fat bird that probably never saw it coming and then go rabid over items made in China that we'll foist upon those who we hope love us who probably do not really need any more things at all.

What they may need, just maybe, is more of us. I am just as horribly guilty of not giving of myself enough as any of the rest of you who may be reading here and feeling a slight twinge of awful about the time your friend asked you to please meet her for lunch and you begged off because you really just wanted seventeen minutes to sit in your comfy pants on the couch in absolute silence by yourself and eat a Snickers bar and not have anyone ask you for anything at all.

Time. Attention. Love.

Who doesn't always want just a bit more of any of those things?  I will admit that this year, especially, I have learned that I can always give more of me.  There's magic in love.  It actually does make more time.  

Around the Salty House, we actually are having quite a mixed review of the holiday season.  Mostly because the two men who live here are much bigger fans of Christmas than the naked girl who shares the house with them.  'LilSalty asked me very directly why I didn't celebrate Christmas and I told him it was because, quite frankly, I celebrate the *meaning* of Christmas every single day and I don't need just one day, in December, to pile on the presents to show how much I really care.  He cocked his head to the side (which is what he does as he considers something that I've shared carefully in his very seven year old way) and then said, "Good point! You really do. You give everything to every body all the time!"  I may not actually give everything to every body, but I appreciate that since joining his family he's noticed that I feel it is very important to give when we can.  Even if it is just a smile, some love and some of your time.  We all need kindness and more love in our lives.

Now, that said, if you're also looking for a gift that may keep on giving long after the wrapping fades and the crazed madness of the most wonderful time of the year stops jingling in the space between your ears, I have just a few suggestions.  Just suggestions.  I know all of you are very thoughtful and loving souls who may have even better and greater ideas than these.  Feel free to share them, too. 

1. You know I'm going to give a shout out for animals. Hooray for The Underdog is a husband and wife photography team from Dallas that photograph shelter dogs for rescue organizations (love that!) and create various cards, stationary, and gifts that you can purchase.  Ten percent of proceeds then go back to shelters and animal rescue organizations.  Of course, obviously, a direct donation to your own local shelter is a fantastic way to help and there is also donations still needed for the various shelters that rescued many of the animals from SANDY. 

2.I now share my life with a seven year old. I refer to him, often, as the small child who sometimes lives with us and people who don't know me well look at me like I am possibly forcing him to go live in the park under a random tree or something in the days when he isn't living here.  No, people.  He's living with his beautiful and loving mother.  The woman who actually birthed him, all warm and cozy.  However, there are kids who are not living in a warm and cozy house.  Those kids can use a warm security blanket, a book to read, a stuffed animal. The comforts of a home.  Project Night Night provides exactly those things to thousands of children.  This year, they've already provided 1,000 bags to children who were affected by Sandy.  For just $20, you can help give a blanket and book and stuffed animal to another homeless child.  I know that 'Lilsalty will be doing that with me. 

3. From the Four Corners of the Earth is not just a Jewish story or an African story. It’s a profoundly human story. Our human need to belong drives us to find and connect with one another. It’s a need so strong that it shrinks the distance between nations, between cultures, between people. 

The filmmakers intent with this project is to tell a story about a shrinking world: a world made smaller by people focusing on those things that bring them together rather than those things that push them apart.  You can be a very important part of bringing this extraordinary story to the world.  It isn't just a documentary, it is a historic journey and with a Kickstarter pledge, you will become a part of it!  This is a story of hope you can share with your own pledge and then give to honor those you love.

4. The ladies and gents of Warwick Rowing have stripped it all off for charity.  Of course, it made me give some serious thought to actually offering up a Nakedjen Calendar of my own with all profits going to Epilepsy Research or something, but given the late hour, that idea may have to wait.  All of our bodies are beautiful, as I always say, and these naked bodies are no exception.  The profits of the ladies' calendar are going to Cervical Cancer research, which is a very worthy cause.  Of course, not everyone really needs or wants a calendar of naked folks, but if you're the one who does, I think this one might be the one you'd really like!

5. The Network For Good offers you the best gift card option for that impossible person on your list.  With THE GOOD CARD you get to choose the amount and give it to your Uncle who already has everything including a Maserati and he gets to choose exactly which Charity he'd like to give to this year.  You fill his stocking, he fills the stocking of a child with AIDS in India.  Or of a Hurricane Sandy victim who is still not able to live at home. Or perhaps providing a goat to a family in Bosnia. The giving is happening, the love is spreading, everyone is sharing for good. 

6. Finally, because I am me and wouldn't be me if I didn't mention it, I need to share a link to the good folks at McSweeney's.  I give gifts from them frequently.  The charity here, truthfully, isn't quite as obvious or direct, but I'm an English and Theatre major who appreciates that Dave Eggers created McSweeney's and the 826 Tutoring Centers and now, the VAD Foundation, to bring the love of language to a our most precious resource, the next generation of writers and thinkers.  By supporting all the wonderful quirky things that McSweeney's gives us we directly support their altruistic efforts, as well.  Here at Chez Salty we have a regular subscription to LUCKY PEACH and we devour it the moment it arrives in our mailbox.  We also have, because how can we not, a subscription to WOLPHIN.  If you love film and you especially love film festivals, but do not get to go to all the ones you wish you could attend, WOLPHIN is like getting a film festival delivered right to your house.  It is just that much fun.  Pop the popcorn, snuggle on the couch and prepare to have your mind explode! 

Finally, for excellent writing already curated for you in the best of ways, I highly recommend Timothy McSweeney's Quarterly Concern.  Really.  These are all gifts, honestly, you should just give to you.  I know you've been very good this year.  You've given love, you've spread good cheer, you've shared all your glitter.  Santa told me.  These are the things just for you.  ♥

 

 

You make my soul blossom, you simply just do. Thank you.

It's impossible to even begin to try to pay back all of you who sustain me so very generously with your love and kindness, but I will always say thank you, thank you, thank you for every.single.drop.

1. Laughter. Always. Especially when it's too loud and people wonder what could possibly be so very funny. That laughter.

2. Kombucha.

3. Farmers

The feed me beets and arugula and garlic and everything else, generously, all year long. I hug them fiercely in return.

4. These dogs.

Buddha lives with his very large head in my lap no matter where my lap may actually be. It is his head that makes certain my head stays here on this planet. He is the guardian of my soul and carries the glue for my heart.

We all live in Stella's world. She owns all the balls, even the ones that belong to the boys who now share the house with us. It is because of Stella that I wake up every single morning. It is her most important job and she makes absolutely certain of it.

5. This Crazy Family.

6. My friends. Every single solitary beautiful one of you. From A until ZZ, from beginning until way beyond the very end.

7. My professor.

He wears pink feathers proudly. For me. He makes a pecan pie all over again just because he wants to get it right. He saves the planet. He allowed me inside and kept me there. He might just be more passionate than me. He also knows exactly how to wrangle my crazy. He loves with abandon and he loves me just as much.

8. This boy.

He squeezed his way into my heart and made me a mother. He allowed me to teach him that fairies really do exist. He's teaching me all about how to love in all kinds of new ways.  He's reminding me that life really is full of magic and really does need some glitter.

9. Cute boys in tight t-shirts who make me espresso every morning and serve it to me just how I like it with a smile and forget to charge me quite what I am supposed to pay. Those boys are my daily therapy and I love them for taking such good care of me.

10. Every blessed new breaking day that I get to try all over again.

 

♥

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.

so we went to florida. which is what we do. and we laughed. that kind of laugh that makes you gasp for your breath and think you're going to pass out on the floor if anyone says one more thing or looks at you sideways. there were so many moments when i just found myself (and michelle will give me her look for saying this outloud) truly GRATEFUL that i made the journey and we took that trip because, honestly, when you live in the great tundra that utah can sometimes be (and it was a blizzard while i was away) the beach and the ocean and the salt air really do heal your soul. but combined with the love of people who truly know you inside out and squeeze the stuffing out of you with the kind of love that makes you just WANT to be a better person and know that you will absolutely, positively, without question show up for them in whatever way they need whenever they ask, well, it just can be the best kind of medicine anyone can every hope to have.

the end.

no really. there isn't much more to say.

i needed that trip. i needed the hours of crazy conversation in the car. i needed every single possible moment. i wish i was still there. and yet i'm really and truly happy to be home with my dogs and my professor and that small boy who shares his life with us. i am.

perspective. going miles and miles away and dunking under waves in a ocean and getting sandy and salty and covered in glitter is just the way to make certain where all the pieces of your heart might just belong. mine is scattered, it's true. i have bits of my heart in lots of places. and you know what? it's exactly how it should be.