I think it's important for all of us, but especially for me, to remember the real reasons why I started this blog. To encourage all of us to embrace and love the person that we are, right here, right now. To celebrate and truly love every body because every one of us is truly beautiful and a gift.
This morning, while walking the dogs, I got naked and celebrated me.
It's Friday. Get naked, celebrate you, and try to remember that love goes a whole lot further in this world than hate.
I think the most exciting thing about the new house besides having insulated windows and heat is the fact that I now have a neighbor who noticed the big fat beautiful snowflakes outside this morning and called me to insist that we take naked photos. Called me. To commit a crime.
You can't ask for neighbors better than that, people. I mean, seriously. You just can not.
I am, as always, forever grateful to Laura for so many things, but today I am particularly grateful for her commitment to fun and frivolity in the face of REALLY BIG SNOWFLAKES.
These are the first in what I really hope will be a series of Pink Umbrella photos.
Enjoy!
...of things invisible to mortal sight.
Be well. Be bright. Be naked. And know that I love you.
My sister, NeverNakedBeth, found out I had two free tickets to a sneak preview of the Coen Brothers new movie last night. So even though it was her husband's birthday and even though I had spent most of the day passed out on the floor of my doctor's office drooling as the result of an infantile dose of Tramadol shot into my ass, we decided that we were both going to go, go, go!
She drove like a bat out of hell to my house and picked me up and we arrived at the movie theater at 7:04 p.m. only to be told that we were SOL. All the seats were taken including those reserved for the press. Too bad, so sad for us. There was nothing they could possibly do for us and we just needed to arrive EARLIER next time, please, can't we see that it is 7:04 and the movie started at 7:00 p.m.?
The big surprise came as we were walking back to the car. NeverNakedBeth turned to me and said, "Jennifer, let's go take your naked photos in the sunflowers to this trip to Salt Lake isn't a total waste!" I wasn't sure I was hearing her correctly and thought that perhaps I was still tripping from that shot of Tramadol in my ass that I had received earlier in the day at the doctor's office. The one that was for my migraine. The one that caused me to pass out right there and sleep for three uninterrupted hours on her carpet drooling like a drunk person.
So I asked her to please repeat that? "The sunflower pictures. Do you know where some are? Where you won't get arrested? Let's go do it!"
Salt Lake is replete with massive amounts of sunflowers at the moment. Gorgeous amounts. They're like weeds. Growing in everyone's front yards. Everyone except mine, but I'll perhaps remedy that next year. However, some of the most beautiful ones are actually in the Community Garden which is quite close to my house. Just a block away. A garden where the entire community has come together to grow lovely organic fruits and vegetables. Local, organic fruits and vegetables.
With the occasional 100% organic naked girl thrown in for good measure. It's Naked Friday. Go get naked and celebrate all that you are.
I went to see the new X-Files movie today. And while I was driving there I noticed that the temperature outside? The air? Well, it felt like the Mormons had all turned their high voltage hair dryers on at the exact same time on the hottest and highest setting possible and were blowing them directly in my face. Full-blast.
It was so hot I was actually having trouble breathing. Yes. That kind of hot.
So I decided that I'd actually check, you know, to see how hot it was? Because it felt like I had descended to that section of Hell reserved for the people who truly have made pacts with the Devil. And I hadn't remembered signing any special papers lately with anyone who had horns or a pointy tail, but then, you know, sometimes the Devil doesn't actually LOOK like the Devil when you're signing the papers. He only turns into the Devil seven years later after you've been sleeping with him for a while.
The thermometer in my car which is usually off by about two or three degrees on the side of actually being COOLER than the real temperature outside said that it was 108. People, may I remind you that I am a girl that for the last twenty years has lived beside an ocean where the temperature in July rarely climbs above 70?
108!
Knowing that, I, of course immediately got Naked. Thank goodness it is Friday and I have my "special pass" so I can't possibly be arrested for wandering the streets of Salt Lake without clothes. If the police ask, I'll just show them that pact I signed with the Devil seven years ago and tell them to go take it up with him.
Yes, I realize these pictures are not quite the naked photos you're used to receiving. I got a new camera. I need to get a tripod and a remote.
I promise I'll have a chat with the Devil about that the next time I see him.
As you all may have heard (or perhaps you choose to ignore unpleasant news) the man who happens to currently occupy the White House and portends to be our President was here in Salt Lake for two days this week. Two days! Here. In this city.
My own sister, NeverNakedBeth, actually phoned me on the first day that the President was here to find out if I had gotten naked in protest? When I informed her that I had not, but then shared that what I really wanted to do was infiltrate the $30,000 a plate dinner and perhaps get a photo with him naked, she implored me to please NOT do that.
NeverNakedBeth knows me well.
Because, you see, I do have what I like to call my "invisible ticket". I have been able to make myself invisible for quite some time. It's a parlor trick I learned while I was traveling with the Grateful Dead. And if there's a venue with tight security that I want to enter, well, I just make myself invisible and walk right inside.
I know it sounds a tad implausible, but I assure you I can do this. It really isn't that difficult. You could do it, too.
So I was all set to go up to the very expensive dinner chock full of secret service agents in Deer Valley and get myself inside and then grab my opportunity to take a naked photo with the President.
Now, dear readers, I do not support our President. I have never agreed with his policies. I'm aghast most days when he even opens his mouth to speak. However, a naked picture with him? Well, that is a political statement I am more than willing to make.
But...alas...I didn't even go to Deer Valley. I didn't get naked with the President. I stayed in Salt Lake, went to the local protest, and decided that being naked with George wasn't going to happen on this particular visit.
So, this is not the naked photo I was hoping to share this particular Friday. In fact, there's another naked Friday photo I was also hoping to share, but that one actually seems even more probable than the Naked with George photo, so I'll save the details in the hopes that on a future Friday I can share it with you.
Imagine (or perhaps it is too scary to think about) a naked George with a naked Jen. Perhaps that would be the start of a new and different world, indeed.
P.S. I keep hearing rumblings that the world food crisis and gas crisis and global warming is a complete fabrication of the Democrats in order to make the Republicans and current administration look bad. Um, hello? Fabrication??? I think people need to wake up, look at the real economic factors and realize that we're in deep shit. And all of us are responsible for this. Not a single political party. Not even a single bumbling political leader. It's a global problem. Not just an American one. We must, absolutely must, acknowledge that we are all responsible and take that responsibility to make the changes necessary or it will only lead to bigger and more dramatic problems.
I know it's an old photo. But you know what? I can't help but look at it and smile the biggest and happiest smile.
Today, folks, is Friday as you all may very well know. Fridays, around these parts, we sometimes like to take our clothes off and get naked. We call them Naked Fridays. I started Naked Fridays back before I even started this blog. I bet some of you didn't even know that, did you? I'm also guessing that there are some of you who also have no idea why I started Naked Fridays and what they're really all about.
I'm going to tell you.
The reason I'm choosing today to tell you as opposed to last Wednesday or the second Tuesday from March 23, whenever that might have been, is because, well, obviously, today is Friday. So it kind of sort of makes a little bit of sense to explain it today. But also it just so happens that the good folks at KRCL radio here in Salt Lake City are going to have me on as a guest! Can you believe that? Public radio in Salt Lake City has asked me, Nakedjen, to be a guest?! I just want to take this opportunity to point out that I lived in the Bay Area for 20 years and was never once invited to be the guest on a radio program while I lived there. I move to Salt Lake City, a move that was seriously questioned by most of my friends and family, and what do they do? They invite me to come and be a guest on the radio. I'm not kidding about Salt Lake. I really do like it here! And not just because everyone is being so damn nice to me all the time!
Anyway, I was explaining about Naked Fridays.
Even before I began this blog, I was already known on the Internet to lots of really fabulous people as Nakedjen. And a lot of these fabulous people had some pretty unhappy feelings about their own bodies. Feelings of hatred and remorse and guilt and shame.
It bothered me that these beautiful women (and men) were so tormented by the shape of their own bodies. They would share with me how they avoided mirrors. How they would wear clothes a little too big to hide their shape. How they avoided swimming pools and locker rooms and didn't even allow their own wives or husbands to see them naked. It was just awful to me. Such self-hatred can only lead to bad things. If we can't love ourselves first, how can we possibly be open to loving others?
So I started Naked Fridays. I encouraged these people to spend a little time naked. It could be 30 seconds. It could be 30 minutes. It could be all day. But on Fridays, I encouraged them to get truly naked and celebrate the beautiful bodies that were uniquely theirs and theirs alone.
No one else has a body just like yours. No one. And let me tell you, no one else is as perfect and beautiful as you are, either. I know, I know. Those of you who are uncomfortable being naked are shaking your heads and perhaps even laughing at my new age mumbo jumbo. But let me share this with you. I have received thousands (yes thousands) of emails from people all over this planet who have celebrated their naked bodies on a random Friday and realized that, yes, they are beautiful. That yes, their body is worth cherishing. That, yes, a naked body is a gift. A gift that should never be shamed.
It makes my heart swell to know that there are so many lovely people in this world who have taken the chance, who have gotten naked, who have learned to love themselves just a little bit more because of Naked Fridays. It really does. We're all only given one body during our journey on this earth. Don't you think it's a good idea to really cherish and celebrate it? I do. So, if you're in Salt Lake and within listening distance, feel free to tune in today and hear me blather on about this and other things from 6-7 p.m. on KRCL. But if you're not? I suggest that you go get naked. It is Friday after all.
Even before I arrived in Salt Lake, I received a lovely email from Laura Moncur welcoming me to my new city. She was a friend of a friend and she had heard that I was making the move and wanted to be sure that when I arrived I knew that I had at least one person who was ready to give me a hug.
Well, Laura did more than that, truthfully. She came over bearing beautiful gifts! A hat and fingerless gloves that she had crocheted herself (I have worn them nearly every single day) and two different moisturizers that I had no idea how very very very much my body would appreciate. I also got a great Utah Geeks t-shirt (because, hey, now I'm in Utah!).
She has honestly become a very dear friend to me here. Especially when I find myself confused about the "culture" of Salt Lake. It can be confusing sometimes to this girl from California. Laura has lived here nearly her entire life and she's not Mormon, so she's able to give me a very down-to-earth explanation of things in ways that I can understand. Not that being a Mormon would make that more difficult, but it is just that some of my questions are actually about the Mormon culture and there are many Mormons who are so indoctrinated that they just say, "Well, because, that's the way it is..." without truly even knowing why. Isn't that the way it is with many organized religions?
This week, Laura and I met and went out for a delicious Indian meal. She's also been quite wonderful about making sure I know where all the best restaurants are for vegetarian food. Afterwards, she came over to my house and we had a little "Nakedjen" photo shoot. How fun is that? I finally have someone else besides me to take a picture for Naked Fridays!
She even featured me on one of her own blogs, Starling Fitness. I love what she wrote about me, because I do feel like she captured a lot of the heart of Nakedjen. I have been writing this blog for over 4 years now, and hoping that with each Naked Photo, I am touching at least one person and helping them to love their own bodies just a little bit more. It's really nice to have Laura in my life. She makes being in Salt Lake just a little bit easier.
Oh people. I am so angry at Oprah right now that I could spit. Seriously.
Let me back up.
Because Mercury is Retrograde ten city blocks in Salt Lake were without power today. One of those city blocks was mine. Yes, I'm blaming Mercury because it is Retrograde. You can blame whomever you want including the Rocky Mountain Power Company. I'm blaming Mercury. Since I was without power and the folks at Rocky Mountain Power Company kept extending the time when the power would be returned to "indeterminable", I decided to evacuate my very cold house and head for my sister's very warm house in Lehi.
My sister and her family were supposed to be going to St. George for the holiday weekend, so my plan was to take both dogs and spend the night at her house and return to Salt Lake in the morning when perhaps the power would truly have been restored AND my house may have also returned to a livable and breathable temperature. There are, truthfully, moments when my house is so damn cold that it hurts to breathe. The dogs and I sit around and practice making smoke rings with our breath. Like you all used to do when you were cool seventh graders and wanted people to think you were smoking cigarettes. (Or, yeah, maybe you really WERE smoking cigarettes!) But in any case, the dogs and I do get a kick out of seeing who can make the biggest one or those funky co-joined ones that turn into figure eights.
So the dogs and I landed in Lehi around 3:45 today. Only to be met by my sister, NeverNakedBeth who informed me that she and her husband were both too sick to make the weekend trip to St. George and she was retiring to bed that instant and I was welcome to stay with the dogs, but really, they weren't going anywhere and she was worried I was going to get sick.
Now, last night Nakedmom had sent me an email telling me to watch Oprah today because it was about being Naked. I do not watch Oprah as a general rule. I don't really watch television, as a general rule, as you all know. But Oprah and Naked did pique my interest. I mean what was Oprah going to talk about? Naked?! And why hadn't she talked to me??
So at 4:00 p.m. today I found myself sitting on my sister's bed in her bedroom watching Oprah. The topic of her show today was actually to highlight another show entirely that is on the Lifetime Television Network called How To Look Good Naked. I just learned about this show this week, actually, as some other online friends had been chatting about it and how it had disturbed them that perfectly good looking women (to them) had such horrific body issues and if they thought themselves disgusting what must the general public think when looking at my friends (who are all truly beautiful women in their own right, but who do not fit the magazine stereotype shoved down our throats every day that I'm constantly railing against).
So Oprah opens her show today by asking her audience with a show of hands how many of those sitting in the audience love their bodies naked. About 1/10th of the audience raised their hands. Oprah then asked these women to "Stand up because I want to get a better look at you!" So the women all complied. These were all lovely women. Of course, I, Nakedjen, am going to say that because I really do think all of us are lovely! I embrace all women, and men, as you know. I think our bodies are all beautiful precisely because they are ours and ours alone and they're what make us unique and special.
So Oprah, this is Oprah remember, the woman who is watched and worshiped by MILLIONS around the world, says, "You're really happy with yourself naked?" And one of the women says, "Oh, yes. Absolutely. Every inch! Front and back!" And Oprah says, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?!"
I was so angry I threw a pillow at the television and then I started screaming. Yes, me. Screaming. I could not believe that Oprah, OPRAH, had just said such a thing. I wanted to slap her. I don't care if she thought it. She should never had said it. Even if she meant it in jest. You do not perpetuate the "girl you have no right to love your body when it looks like that" mentality by asking a woman who clearly LOVES her body if she's looked in the mirror lately.
What Oprah SHOULD have said is, "You go, girlfriend. Right on! I wish I could be that confident!" Because obviously, Oprah is NOT that confident or she would have not belittled this woman on national, make that international, television.
I was already angry at Oprah over the way she handled the Autism/Vaccination link with Jenny McCarthy. But this? This hits so close to home I'm ready to stand Naked in front of the Harpo Studios in Chicago with a sign that says, "I love my body, Oprah, and I HAVE looked in the mirror lately, have you?"
Who wants to join me?? I'll make you your sign!
Absolutely true conversation:
NeverNakedBeth: Jennifer, it's been on my mind. You've been in Utah for a few months now and you haven't taken a really good naked picture yet for your blog. We should do that today.
Nakedjen: Really? It's been on your mind? You've actually been thinking about it?
NeverNakedBeth: Yes! I mean your fans must be wondering if you're ever going to get naked in Utah?!
Nakedjen: I can't believe you, the Mormon sister, are the one whose worried about me getting naked in Utah?!
NeverNakedBeth: Look, I know it's important to you. We should take a picture today. With these mountains as the backdrop.
Nakedjen: All I've got is my cellphone.
NeverNakedBeth: Well, can you still upload those pictures? We can make that work for now, right? And then next time I see you, we'll make a better plan. Right??
Nakedjen: God, I love you. Thank you!!
NeverNakedBeth: Well, I still think you're crazy. But I know it's important!!
Nakedjen: I just love that even though you think I'm crazy, you'll take the photos, bring a blanket to make sure I don't freeze AND not deliver me to the loony bin after we take the shot.
NeverNakedBeth: I grew up with you as my big sister. You'd have to do far more than get naked in Utah for me to deliver you to the loony bin!
And with that I give you these. Taken by NeverNakedBeth. With my cellphone. I promise we'll get better ones. Soon!
And yes, it was REALLY cold!
