I have been getting up really early in the morning. In fact, I've been getting up so early that I'm unsure it can even be considered morning. I think what most normal people on the planet might say is that I've been getting up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I wonder, actually, why I bother to go to bed at all. I mean, if I'm going to crawl out of bed at 4:00 a.m., shouldn't I perhaps just stay up so I don't even have to deal with the whole crawling business? Wouldn't it be easier to just party the night away and then at 4:00 a.m. just grab the dogs for their morning walk? Or should that be their late night walk?
The reason for all this insanity is that I'm back to work at Sundance. This year, I need to be in Park City before 8:00 a.m. My clocks are not broken. I do realize that 4:00 a.m. is a long time BEFORE 8:00 a.m. However, have you met my dogs? Have you? The big, black furry ones that are STILL puppies? Yes, I realize they're three. Yes, I realize that puppyhood is over after two. Buddha and Stella obviously did not get that memo. Or maybe it came in an envelope with a crunchy plastic window? If it arrived from the Director of Puppy Rules and Regulations in one of those envelopes, Stella ate it long before any of us had a chance to inspect and read its important documents. She has a penchant for those envelopes with plastic windows. She can't seem to help herself from eating all credit card bills that arrive at my house. I promise that I did NOT teach her this behavior in the hopes that I can call the credit card company and tell them that I can't possibly owe them any money because my dog ate their bill and therefore there's no evidence of the monies owed. No, I promise she's developed this very strange habit all on her very own. Still, it probably explains why both dogs, though three, still believe they're only 3 months old. And behave absolutely accordingly.
So where was I before I started babbling about lost memos from the Director of Puppy Rules and Regulations. Oh yes. 4:00 a.m. See? It's not an hour where anyone should be crawling from anywhere unless perhaps it's from the bowels of a dive bar where your favorite indie band has been jamming without a break all night long! That is definite worth a crawl. On all fours, even!
I am not so lucky, I'm afraid. No indie bands and dive bars for me right now. Instead, as I mentioned, I'm crawling from my bed, donning the ever popular dog walking clothes, putting on my headlamp (HEADLAMP!), leashing up the puppies and heading out into the most frigid air on the planet to exercise.
EXERCISE! Well, perhaps more exercise for Buddha and Stella than for me, but yes exercise. You see as I've mentioned they still believe they're puppies. Puppies who need lots and lots of exercise. If they don't get lots and lots of exercise, Stella decides that she'll exercise her brain by eating my favorite books and Buddha decides he'll exercise his favorite Superdog moves by turning over all the furniture. As I quite like my books, especially the very few that I still have since the great Divorce Sale of 2008, I try to make sure the dogs get lots of exercise.
It's for that very reason that the three of us found ourselves at Fairmount Park in Sugarhouse a few days ago in the dark long before sunrise. As is customary, I took the dogs off their leashes when we arrived at the park. Now, this park is not designated as an off-leash park in Salt Lake, but at 4:00 a.m. in the dark who is going to notice? Fairmount Park is a rather large park with lots of soccer fields and a very nice skateboard park, too. There's a duck pond, there are nice trails and my dogs really do love it there.
The dogs were busy chasing each other around in the snow and I was busy keeping track of them. Stella had gone over to the edge of the skateboard park where she had found some delicious ground score. Not sure what it was, but it was keeping her quite busy. As both my dogs have somewhat sensitive constitutions (and I admit this is all my fault for cooking organic diets for them and never allowing them junk food!) I decided I should go investigate what Stella was eating. I headed in that direction and it was then that Buddha realized exactly what she was doing.
Now, Buddha doesn't care if Stella is eating a mouse, a rabbit or frozen McDonald's french fries. If she's eating, he wants it, too. In fact, he'll push her out of the way and gobble it down without even pausing to ask for the ketchup.
As he was more concerned with the yummy treat Stella was eating, in typical Buddha fashion, he just wasn't paying very close attention to his surroundings. So just as he was about to reach Stella, he realized that he was completely suspended in mid air and that the ground beneath paws had completely vanished. The look of shock and surprise on his face was priceless. There he was, suspended above an 8 foot deep skate bowl, and there was nothing he could do. He pawed the air for what felt like FOREVER and then he simply vanished.
At first, I just giggled. But then when he did not reappear, I worried that he had seriously hurt himself. I ran over to the edge of the bowl and there he was standing at the very bottom, a look of astonishment on his face, wagging his tail at me.
The bowl he fell into actually has very steep sides. Pretty much vertical. There wasn't really a slope for him to walk out. There also were no steps, no ladder, no way to exit if you were not skating out!
I leaned over the edge and called to him to try to get him to come to me. That silly dog just sat there at the bottom of the bowl wagging his tail. He wouldn't budge. So that's when my own head started creating all kinds of scenarios. I imagined I was going to have to call the police. Get the rescue squad. Have Buddha air lifted (no not really) by helicopter from the bottom of that bowl. I would have to explain why I was there at 4:00 a.m. and what my dog was doing off his leash. And then the good folks of Salt Lake would escort all three of us to the edge of town and tell us never to come back. We'd already been kicked out of Santa Cruz for our off-leash antics. Now we'd have to leave Salt Lake, too!
Buddha still was not budging. No amount of cajoling him could convince him that he could jump back out! I was getting a bit desperate as I had to still get the dogs back home, cook them breakfast, get myself pulled together and get to Park City.
I called Stella over, who by this time was finished eating whatever yummy dead thing she had found on the other side of the skate park, put her on her leash and then told Buddha that we were leaving. Often this is the only way to get Buddha to come along. It's to give him the impression that he's going to be left behind.
Stella and I said good-bye to Buddha and then we walked away. As I got to the edge of the skate park I saw one sole black paw creep over the edge of the bowl. I rushed back, grabbed Buddha's paw, then somehow managing not to tumble in to the bowl with my 150 pound dog, I pulled one paw, then two paws, then grabbing him behind his shoulders managed to get him up and out.
That silly dog. I checked him over thoroughly to make sure that he was not injured in any way. Of course we had only just started the daily exercise regime, so I got both dogs safely away from the skate park and then off we went for more play time. The dogs chased their ball and wrestled one another in the snow until I was certain they were properly exhausted.
I'm not sure if Buddha will remember falling into the skate bowl. Honestly, he surprises me with his brilliance on some days, but other days I'm quite sure that he needs to ride the short bus to school. He really is my special needs dog. In so very many ways.
P.S. There's a new blog located here. I think it's fairly self-explanatory.
