nakedjen

The Best Chance for Chance

It is no secret to anyone who knows me even just a little bit that I am in service to all dogs.  That there's a large part of my heart and all of my soul that believes that I may have just been put on this planet to take the finest care of dogs possible.  There's only been a very brief stint in my entire life that I've not shared my life with a dog and that was, by far, the most painful of all my days on this planet.

Of course the love and care and unlimited devotion that I receive in return, even from those dogs I only care for just briefly, far outweighs whatever it is that I'm giving to them.  I am the person you know because of the love of amazing dogs.

I am also, though, the person you know because of the unbridled love of some really amazing and beautiful humans, too.  Many of you can smile and know that you most definitely are included in this category.  I am a very lucky woman to be so very well loved.

One of those beautiful humans whom I love fiercely also happens to be loved just as fiercely by one very special dog.  Stephanie's life entwined with Chance's because, truthfully, I believe, their hearts recognized each other and just knew that they needed one another.  While I know, absolutely, that there is nothing that Stephanie would not do for Chance, I also know that since coming into her life, Chance has gently carried Stephanie's heart on her four paws and has provided her a soft landing when she especially needed one.  They are family.

It so happens that Chance needs surgery.  She has a disc that has ruptured into her spinal canal and it is severely compressing nerve roots in her lower back.  As with any surgery, there are lots of expenses.  Expenses that my dear friend, like so many of us, is unable to truly afford all on her own at this time.

Did I mention that Chance and her owner, Stephanie, are well loved?  A far-flung group of folks who love them truly, madly and deeply have gathered together to hold a fund-raiser to help pay for this much needed surgery for Chance. 

Remember Clyde?  Remember Clyde's Cookies?  I'd like to give any readers of this blog who donate $50 or more towards the Surgery Fund for Chance at least one dozen Clyde's Cookies.  You can receive them now or later and even have them sent as a gift to someone else, if you'd like.  I realize that the cookies are not listed in the gift items on the Surgery Fund for Chance page, but I promise if you do make a donation and let them know you want to receive Clyde's Cookies, I will absolutely make certain that you get them.

I know that you, my readers, the very folks who seem to love me so completely, are really generous. I know cookies are not even necessary.  I actually know that if you can, if you are able, that you will give (even if it is just kind thoughts and prayers) and that you will help me to help Chance have her best chance.

Blessings and Thanks.  Always.

The Light Always Returns

  In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Camus

Sometimes I have to just trust that if I don’t write something intelligent and witty and thoughtful on my blog for a few days, even for many days, perhaps for lengthy periods of time, that all of my readers will not abandon me and will not think that I am a rotten human being.  Who can not write anything of interest at all.

You’ve noticed, no doubt, that my intentions to participate in the Best of 09 daily blog postings started out well, but then faltered.  Best laid plans of mine often do falter.   I’ll go to all kinds of trouble and gymnastics to put the dogs crates back together and in a warm spot in the house so I can truly “crate” them and keep a certain Stella someone from choosing my favorite books to read and eat while I’m at the office on certain days of the week and then, because Buddha can make a person feel guilty just with the lift on one eyebrow, I’ll rush off to the movies with Emily Gilmore and not crate the dogs explaining to them that I know they know they should be in their crates and that Stella really does understand that this means she is not to read and eat any books while I’m gone only to return to just the tiniest bits and pieces of the spine and edges of pages of what was once a signed first edition of Jitterbug Perfume.

There’s a lesson there. I know it.  I’m supposed to learn it. I’m trying to discern the meaning in eloquent words and metaphors digested into dog poop. I really am. If Mr. Robbins were truly available to me, I'd ask him to write me something witty to cheer me up.  I know that he not only could, but that he would.  He actually would probably find great humour (yes with the u) in the fact that Stella is systematically eating her way through my library of signed first editions of his novels.   No doubt, he would at least be amused by her preference for his literature over the works of Sam Shepard.

This is my life. The life I share with my dogs. The life of good intentions that never get written about on my blog because I’m far too upset about the fact that Tom Robbins' eloquent and special inscription to me about eating my beets is now just dog poop on my lawn.

Thing is, I haven’t been too busy to write.  I actually never want to be in a place where my life is filled with busy. Busy just isolates me.  It just allows me to shut everyone else out.  It just closes doors and removes opportunity. That is not living.  That is filling time.  I had that life, that life of filled time and no time for living.  It nearly killed me, as I forgot how to breathe and how to love and how to do a whole host of other really important things that are required to truly live your life.  I never want to be busy again. 

No, I’m not too busy.  

I am still.  I am listening to my heart.  I am aching for the rhythms that guide my soul.  The whispers are faint, but I am hearing them. 

As the light is about to return to all of us in this hemisphere, so will my own inner strength.  It is these last few days when the days are their shortest that are always hardest for me.  The light always returns.  My light never really goes away. I just go still, go quiet, find my true center, and then like the firefly, I light up, I burn with the love of a thousand hearts and I glow.

Give A Dog A Home

One thing that I am absolutely certain about the readers of this blog is that you love dogs.  Some of you possibly love dogs even more than I do.  It is hard for me to imagine how that is even possible, but I feel quite strongly that living and breathing among the readers of Nakedjen are those whose hearts beat only for our canine companions.  Who will do, quite literally, anything for their own canine companion and just about anything for any other dog, as well.  I know I just described myself. 

This isn't a contest, actually.  We just love our dogs.  Period.  And how lucky are we to be loved so unconditionally and completely in return?  We only hope to be as lovely as our dogs believe that we are.

There are a myriad of dogs that always need our help.  Always.  Right now, though, there are two specific dogs who very much are in need of a kind and loving forever home. 

Meet Molly:

 

and now meet Mo:

 

The good life for these two dogs came to a rather tragic end when their owner passed away just before Thanksgiving.  Of course, it's not like they ended up wandering the streets scrounging for food.

Remember Jeni?  Of the tomatoes?  These dogs were her father's beloved pets.  He lived in the country in Arkansas and Jeni was worried that even though she had someone to go and care for the dogs at his property that they would be hurt or worse and so she has been caring for them at her own home in Memphis.  But, unfortunately, she can not continue to care for them.  As much as she loves dogs, her life just doesn't really allow for the care and feeding of two dogs right now. 

I know the power of this blog.  I know that we can find these dogs amazing, loving, perfect homes.  Yes, they are pit bulls.  Jeni assures me they are non-aggressive, very loving, adorable sweet babies.  She was raised with pit bulls and understands their misunderstood and bad reputation.  I'll say this again:  There are no bad dogs, or bad breeds, just very irresponsible and bad dog owners. 

These dogs are a "couple" and Jeni hates to see them separated, but they can be if necessary.  They come with kennels, treats, toys, bowls, blankets, kongs, training collars and thick leashes.  They were scheduled to be neutered on Tuesday, but Molly just went into heat, so that procedure needs to wait.  However, it can happen.  I'm willing to help make sure that it does.  They are current on all other vaccinations and their heart worm preventive, too.

I'm absolutely willing to help with transportation costs for these two dogs.  If you are willing to provide them with a good forever home.  I can also get you a discount on dog food.  As we know, feeding dogs is expensive.  Of course, Buddha and Stella are champion eaters of Honest Kitchen dog food, but if you'd rather feed the dogs kibble, I can assist with that, too.

A dog is a huge responsibility.  We all know this.  Our hearts are forever changed by the love of a dog.  Molly and Mo want to love you.  All they need is for you to say yes.

You can contact me via my email address if you'd like to give a home to Molly and/or Mo.  They're in Tennessee right now, but they're ready to go on their grand adventure to a new home.  Will it be yours?

Love in Three Parts

WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING LEASHES

I am running, nearly out of breath, my lungs filled with the smells I love and know so well of sea water and rotting kelp.  The sand gives way beneath my feet and each step reverberates up to my heart thumping it just a little bit harder, bursting it open just a tiny bit further with joy.

I pass the fallow field.  The same field I fought so hard and diligently to keep filled with happy tail-wagging dogs and their smiling owners.  Dogs chasing balls and frisbees and each other off-leash. Dogs communing.  Dogs being dogs.

The field is empty and sorry and sad.  Trash billows against tree trunks and no one even ventures to cross.
It is a wasteland of used condoms, discarded syringe needles and taco bell wrappers.  It is a loss to everyone, but mostly to the dogs that I now pass tethered to leashes, pulling towards the ocean, longing to run free.

If I lived here, now, surely I'd be an outlaw.  My dogs don't live at the end of a leash.  Neither do I.

GOOD VIBRATIONS

I've landed on the planet Saturn for lunch.  Not truly, but it might feel that way to the casual observer.  It certainly feels that way to my two BFF's who have never eaten at this all vegan restaurant before and have agreed to meet me here for lunch because if I'm in Santa Cruz, I'm going to eat a Cowgirl Blues Salad at least once, if not twice.

I'm so happy to see them and they're both already tucked in to beers and sweet potato french fries having learned that the menu is void of any meat at all.  Courage, they said.  For the non-meat food items.  I love both of these women more than I can possibly ever express to either of them, but I do my best and we spend the entire lunch laughing loudly (oh boy do I laugh loudly) and sharing deep and emotional and heart-felt secrets of the sorts that you can only share with the friends who have known you forever and a day plus one. 

The lunch lingers and I don't want to say goodbye.  I never want to say goodbye.  I'm terrible at the goodbye.  I assure them I'll be back soon, perhaps even in two weeks and maybe we can squeeze in hugs and kisses and a hello when I'm here?  Life is so full of hellos and goodbyes and some days.  I linger on the sidewalk, not wanting them to go, knowing we have to leave Saturn and return to our lives on Earth.

Lives on Earth. Lives that don't come with batteries included.  Lives that instead of ending in goodbye ended with the three of us discussing the various best and worst attributes of twenty different kinds of vibrators in one of Santa Cruz's only adult sex toy stores.  Lives that celebrated my BFF's purchase of her very first vibrator.  Because, well, sometimes life needs some vibration.  Or a lot of vibration.  Along with the love vibrations of your very best friends.

FISH FULL OF LOVE

There's a spider web, made from white crepe paper, carefully woven on the ceiling.  The first time I ate at this sushi restaurant, I had to stand in the pouring rain, outside, waiting for one of the twelve available seats at the bar.  That was it.  The bar.  It was all that was available.  Now, the restaurant has blown through walls on both sides, sports two different sushi bars, and seating for what feels like the entire town of Santa Cruz.  It is overwhelming, but the same waitress I have always had is still here and so I don't even have to explain my allergy to avocado, I barely even have to order, I just smile and basque in the love of my friends who will always be glad to join me at a table here.  Always.

We're noisy, full of laughter, sharing stories about this, that, oh and yes, that too.  I can not believe how very blessed and loved I truly am.  I live thousands of miles away from this small hamlet by the sea in a city that has, I will admit, wrapped its tendrils around my heart is holding it gently and steady.  I am loved now in Salt Lake, and I am loving Salt Lake right back.  With all my heart.  I am also so very well loved here.  Santa Cruz wraps its arms around me, squeezes me very tight, tucks me in its bed at night, kisses my cheek and wishes me only the sweetest of dreams.  Those dreams?  They're very sweet, indeed.

First, We'll Make Snow Angels

There, just at the end of those two leashes, lies my heart. Cleaved so gently in two. Beating gently on eight paws. Diamonds of large snowflakes glittering on their backs.  Large, puffy clouds of dog breath remind me on this very cold Utah morning that we are all, truly, gloriously alive.

Now You Are Four

Dear Puppies,

Now you are four. Four. If there is one wish I could make for you, now, right this very minute, right this very second, here on this planet Earth, I'd wish that you'd not get one second older.  Please.  That while I might age, I might get older, I might push along to that grand old age of 136, you will just stop and stay four forever.

My life with both of you is, well, just magical. I know that there are people who just read that sentence and snorted coffee out of their nose.  Or Diet Coke since we now live in Utah and those Mormons don't actually drink coffee, but for some reason they believe that Diet Coke is an elixir sent by Jesus to save them from the devil.  Coffee or Diet Coke, it simply does not matter. You are, really, just magical dogs. 

Last Saturday, which was your actual fourth birthday, I wanted to celebrate you in a way that would make you know just how much I love you.  Well my abilities to teletransport us to Santa Cruz for a romp on the beach were not up to snuff as every time I squeezed my eyes shut and imagined us there, smelled the ocean air, heard the gulls, felt the cold salty water swirling about my feet, heard the thunder and screams of the Big Dipper, I'd open my eyes and we'd be standing, the three of us, knee deep on the muddy banks of the Great Salt Lake, the black flies swirling about for the kill over our heads. You both are so forgiving, will find happiness even in those salty flats, but we all know that it is not the same.  Not at all.

NeverNakedBeth insisted that you would love the lakes up in the Uinta Mountains.  She said it wasn't a far drive (remember that detail, because I did) and that we could go up, take a hike, you could go swimming and we could still be home in time for dinner.  It sounded like a great way for you to celebrate your fourth birthday and that is why we were up much earlier than we ever like to arise on a Saturday.

I had told you on Friday night, when we were doing our NakedFriday usual, that we were going on a special trip to celebrate your birthday and because Stella can speak seven languages fluently in addition to DOG, she nearly knocked NeverNakedBeth over with her enthusiasm when she FINALLY arrived the next morning.  I think Stella was certain that NeverNakedBeth was just never ever ever going to get here, that NeverNakedBeth certainly must have had difficulty putting on her special undergarments that morning, stuck both legs in the same leg opening, fallen over, banged her head on the corner of the fish tank and was actually lying HALFNAKED in the middle of her bedroom for her God and all the rest of the world to see and our trip, that special trip, was ruined all because of the special undergarments.

But Stella's fears were for naught, because there she was, special undergarments all put on correctly, wearing her hiking boots, carrying her water bottle, odd snack bars stuffed in her pockets, ready to go,go,go! 

We drove and drove and drove and drove some more up highway 80 like we were going to go to Yellowstone, or Montana or maybe even Canada, it felt like, only in reality I suppose we didn't go quite that far.  And it is a good thing.  Because after we entered the National Park, after we were headed up, up, up the big mountain, I asked NeverNakedBeth quite innocently if she thought an 1/8th of a tank of gas would be plenty to get us where we were going and back?!

Puppies, remember that scene in the Exorcist?  That one where Regan's head turns green and spins all the way around and her eyes bulge way out of her head?  Remember that one?  The devil had possessed her, remember?

If I did not know better (and I truly do because she is, after all an upstanding, card-carrying SISTER) I would have thought, in that moment, that moment when I asked that innocent question about the gasoline, that NeverNakedBeth's body had been possessed by that very same devil.  Her head spun all the way around!  Her eyes bulged out of her head!  She spit!  She spat!  She sprayed! 

"What kind of idiot drives up the mountains into the National Forest with NO GAS?!?!  Oh wait, I forgot, you do!  This is exactly like our trip on Maui.  We're going to be coasting all the way home!"

(Puppies, I took NeverNakedBeth to Maui for her 40th birthday....oh...wait....should I share this with you..are you going to be upset that I didn't take you to Maui for your 4th birthday?  Tell you what, make it to 40, I'll take you to Maui, too.  Yes, of course, 40 in dog years!  Yes, I realize that's very soon.  Stella, stop doing the Hula! Yes, Buddha, you can have a coconut drink with a straw.  I took NeverNakedBeth to the Maui Film Festival for her 40th birthday and I also took her on a drive around the entire island.  All the way around.  With NO GAS.  And we had to coast the last ten or so miles until we finally found a gas station.  Obviously, this is the way I roll!).

I looked at her.  The woman beside me who had left her body and was now possessed by a she-devil.

"NeverNakedBeth," I said, "I had no idea where exactly we were going today.  We had gas in the car when we left the driveway.  That's all I ever worry about."

"Nakedjen!  You now live in Utah.  You are no longer in Hippy Dippy Do California.  In Utah we always have a full tank of gas.  Always.  It's just what we do. We are always prepared for the big disaster, the end of the world, Armageddon."

"Well, I still don't really want to believe that I actually live in Utah, you see.  I'm still living in California in my head.  And I don't really drive my car, honestly, that much anyway.  Only to come see you.  So, well, the gas tank and its quantity is not on my list of priorities!"

She hrumphed. Then said we would have to change our plans.  There was no way we were going to the BIG LAKE ON TOP OF THE BIG MOUNTAIN.  We'd have to find another lake and just make that do.  Too bad, so sad for the puppies.  But she wasn't getting stuck in the middle of nowhere without gas.  And we'd lost the GPS signal so, you know, we were now clearly in the middle of absolutely East Jesus no where.

Still, we kept winding our way up the road, higher and higher, with NeverNakedBeth now focused solely on the gas guage until she suddenly said, "Turn left!  Right here! Now!!"

I was not about to argue with her.  I had survived the head spinning.  Not sure what else might happen if I did not do as I was told!

We parked.  We walked.  We hiked.  The dogs, well, they were in absolute bliss.  No, really, absolute bliss.  We found three lakes.  Lakes that might as well have had neon signs shouting "WELCOME LABRADORS!" right at the waters edge because my dogs, when they even got the slightest hint that they were in the vicinity, did not even hesitate to just dive right in.  In fact, at one point we had "lost" Stella only to find her far ahead of us swimming laps around one of the lakes.  Literally.  Laps.  I do think that in a previous life Stella was Gertrude Ederle.  No really.  If I threw her into the English Channel, the dog would swim to the other side, parler avec les Français because she is fluent in seven languages, swim back and then ask me if she could, pretty please, do it again?!

It was, in terms of a dog's life, a day that would get ten wags.  Maybe even eleven. 

We coasted home, on our 1/8th tank of gasoline, me assuring NeverNakedBeth that it was all good, that I'd just "believe" that we'd make it without incident (and of course we did!).  The dogs and I are headed back up there tomorrow.  We're unplugging.  We're going to spend the weekend swimming laps.  Because if we can't live at the beach, we can certainly, absolutely, celebrate and enjoy the majestical beauty with which we're blessed right here.  Celebrations are not just for birthdays, you know.  Life is worth celebrating every day.

Love,

Mama

 

P.S. Internet?  You all need to know, that this NakedFriday photo was all NeverNakedBeth's idea.  True story.  She absolutely insisted we do it and celebrate the beauty of Utah. And...in the making of this fine photo for you we both nearly caused an entire cadre of Japanese tourists to snatch up their passports and busywalk as fast as their legs would take them right to the SLC airport for the first plane back to safety and sanctity of Japan where you can hike in the mountains and not worry about rounding a corner to find a very naked woman standing there CELEBRATING NATURE'S BEAUTY! My apologies to the tourists.  It's America.  Land of the Free, home of the Naked.

MALCOM IS MISSING!

Malcolm stolen from car in Denver, Colorado

April 29, 2009

HELP!
 
Michael Davis, lost his Airedale Malcolm near University and Asbury at around 5:30 pm on 4-29-2009.

He is beside himself that his beloved Malcolm is missing. Please alert everyone you know and anyone in that area to look for Malcolm.

Malcolm is wearing a black collar with yellow bones on it. He is micro chipped. Also, call or send him any ideas you may have to locate this Airedale...we need to get this boy back!

Michael lives in Lakewood, Colorado, so Malcolm could be headed in that direction.

Reply to Michael at: fugueman@hotmail.co.uk This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Or call him at: 303-619-9551

Sadly, this is becoming all too common.  I've got a special website in the works to help with these very special lost and missing companion animals.  They're far too precious to go missing, as we all know.  And I believe we must band together to keep all of them, each and every one, safe and sound.

Since we're talking about missing dogs, we are still looking for Haley.  I am still convinced that she's out there, that someone has her, that they're unaware that she has a forever home that misses her terribly.



Call me if you have any information about Haley.  Or Malcolm.  I'll gladly help reunite either dog with their owners.

---

GOOD NEWS!!  Malcolm has been found.  He's been reunited with his owners and this story of the stolen missing dog has a happy ending.

Now if we can also have a very happy ending for Haley and her owner in San Luis Obispo, well that would be a wonderful fabulous thing.

The Object of His Affections

I think that Buddha may actually love Darby more than he loves me. 

When we were leaving for Santa Cruz last week, the only way I could coax him into the car that was obviously loaded with provisions for a long journey (a journey Buddha was not at all about to take) was by telling him we were going to see Darby.  The mention of HER name got him to jump right into the back of the car.

I suppose I can't blame him.  Look at her.  She's as yummy as an ice cream sundae with a luscious cherry on top.  I'm certain Buddha thinks so.

Buddha and Darby have been head over tails in love with one another since Buddha's big clunky puppy feet first hit the dog beach in Santa Cruz.  He adores her.  She's much faster than he is and will usually catch whatever ball has been thrown long before he lumbers up beside her but he will then follow her faithfully up and down and all around until she finally is willing to drop it so that he can do his proper retriever duties and bring the ball back.

They will do this for hours if we let them.  It's a match made in dog heaven.  I adore Darby's mom and it was with her that I completed the long, arduous San Francisco marathon last year.  She was my partner in crime, my source of inspiration, my support when I was certain that my two feet could not go another inch.  She was my Darby.  Carrying the ball just beyond reach and coaxing me along and reminding me that a sexy fireman wearing a tuxedo was waiting for me with a little blue box from Tiffany's if I would just take one.more.step.

Yesterday, of course, Darby and Buddha had a reunion.  The presence of Stella did not dampen the joyous occasion at all and we made plans to make sure they had another date before the dogs and I had back to Utah (yes, Utah, I promise I am coming back!).  In a moment that would make the Dog Whisperer so very proud, I got all three dogs to actually sit still for a photo opportunity!

Good dogs.  Really, good dogs.

Honestly, Must We Have TV?

It's official.  I have the world's most spoiled dogs.  It is my own fault, I know.  I did it.  I allowed this to happen.  I did not teach them that no means no and I really forgot to teach them how to say please.

Ever since we got up this morning the two of them have been yammering non-stop about how we are not as good as all the other dog houses on the block because we do not have cable television.  How listening to NPR all day long while I'm at the office is just so BORING and how they want to be able to surf hundreds of channels and how I am the world's worst possible dog mama because I have denied them, DENIED THEM, the joy that is Animal Planet their entire short doggie lives.

Good Grief. 

Of course Stella is the loudest complainer.  I have a sneaking suspicion that she's putting Buddha up to all of this and that Buddha really does enjoy listening to NPR all day.  He often likes to talk to me about the things he's heard when I come home at the end of the day and it is because of him that I actually have been far more informed than I want to be about our impending economic doom.  Buddha is really pissed off about the AIG bonuses, but he's even more angry about the way that Congress is handling their own mistakes!  He feels it is totally wrong that they're enacting new taxes to essentially make up for their own initial mistakes.  Buddha insists, to me, that they're reneging on their initial good faith contracts and that it's a very slippery slope when we allow Congress such free reign.  It has his dander up, let me tell you.

But back to this yammering about the cable television.  I have continued to put my foot down.  To say no.  To tell the dogs that they will just have to extract invitations from their other dog friends who DO have cable television for play dates if watching Animal Planet is just so important.  Then Stella, who is nothing if not dramatic, rolled over, played dead, and told me that she was not going to stand up again until I promised to get the Food Network for our television and it MUST HAPPEN BEFORE MONDAY.

The Food Network?  Home of Rachel Ray (who is so saccharin she makes me want to throw up on my own shoes) and Paula (how much butter can one person consume) Dean?  The only reason I can possibly think to ever have the Food Network in our home would be for the occasional re-run of very old episodes of Iron Chef.  Episodes where they use really strange and odd ingredients like sea urchin and they turn it into ice cream!  Stella is quite lovely and sweet but she has yet to actually cook me a meal (dead mouse not withstanding) and so this demand for the Food Network has me quite perplexed.

Turns out that The Honest Kitchen is going to be featured on the Food Network on Monday.  Stella and Buddha are spokesdogs for The Honest Kitchen.  They have been eating Honest Kitchen food since they were just 8 weeks old.  Honest Kitchen's line of dehydrated human foods, specially formulated for pets, makes it really simple for me to cook for the dogs twice a day every single day.  And Stella and Buddha LOVE it.  Which is also lovely.  I will often supplement the food with some of my own vegetarian leftovers (whatever I'm cooking for myself that evening will get tossed in) but I can truthfully say that this food has been such a godsend for both me and my dogs.  They have beautiful coats, they do not have stinky breath, and they have beautiful teeth.  Plus they lick the bowl clean.  Every single time.

So that explains it.  This sudden request for television in our non-television household.  Stella really wants to see Lucy and Laurette and and all her dog friends at the Honest Kitchen when they're on the Food Network on Monday evening.  I've told her that I will try my best to get one of our friends to let us come over so she can watch it, but that we are NOT getting television in our house.  We just are not.  She'll have to continue to SUFFER with NPR.  Poor puppy.

Oh, and now she's asking for a plane ticket.  To San Diego.  For a tea party.  It just does not end with her.  However, the rest of you really should know, especially if you're in the San Diego area and have a dog, that the Honest Kitchen is hosting a dog tea party at Cafe Merlot on March 24. 

Here are the details:

The Honest Kitchen Hosts High Tea for Pups at Café Merlot

We are teaming up with a local restaurant to Introduce our
New Herbal Tea for Dogs and a Pet-Friendly Menu.

The Honest Kitchen and Café Merlot, a chic fine dining establishment located in the Bernardo Winery, have partnered to host a High Tea for Pups, a one-of-a-kind, whimsical tea party for pooches to celebrate the launch of Lithe Tea, The Honest Kitchen's newest product – and raise money for San Diego Humane Society.

The event will take place at Café Merlot, on March 24th from 2:30-4:30 p.m., at:
Café Merlot at the Bernardo Winery,
13330 Paseo del Verano Norte,
San Diego, Calif. 92128.

San Diego dog owners are invited to bring their pooches to sample the delectable and healthy offerings being provided by The Honest Kitchen and Café Merlot.

While the event is free-of-charge, attendees are encouraged to offer a $5 donation for each cup of Lithe herbal tea. The Honest Kitchen will donate 100 percent of all contributions to the San Diego Humane Society to support their programs and services.

You can RSVP at 619.985.9519 or via email at Natalie@rkpr.net, or just show up!

That herbal tea that they're introducing, Lithe tea, I helped them to develop.  It actually is based on a formula that I originally created for Clyde in his senior years.  It's a GREAT formula and it really does work.  The herbs in that tea are terrific for the entire musculoskelatal system and includes some great support for joints and ligaments.  I credit it for improving and extending Clyde's quality of life for many of his 17 years.  It makes me happy and proud to be a part of the Honest Kitchen family and to have that tea shared with so many well-loved dogs. 

In Which Buddha Finds Himself In A Very Deep Place

I have been getting up really early in the morning.  In fact, I've been getting up so early that I'm unsure it can even be considered morning.  I think what most normal people on the planet might say is that I've been getting up in the middle of the night.  Sometimes I wonder, actually, why I bother to go to bed at all.  I mean, if I'm going to crawl out of bed at 4:00 a.m., shouldn't I perhaps just stay up so I don't even have to deal with the whole crawling business?  Wouldn't it be easier to just party the night away and then at 4:00 a.m. just grab the dogs for their morning walk?  Or should that be their late night walk? 

The reason for all this insanity is that I'm back to work at Sundance.  This year, I need to be in Park City before 8:00 a.m.  My clocks are not broken.  I do realize that 4:00 a.m. is a long time BEFORE 8:00 a.m.  However, have you met my dogs?  Have you?  The big, black furry ones that are STILL puppies?  Yes, I realize they're three.  Yes, I realize that puppyhood is over after two.  Buddha and Stella obviously did not get that memo.  Or maybe it came in an envelope with a crunchy plastic window?  If it arrived from the Director of Puppy Rules and Regulations in one of those envelopes, Stella ate it long before any of us had a chance to inspect and read its important documents.  She has a penchant for those envelopes with plastic windows.  She can't seem to help herself from eating all credit card bills that arrive at my house.  I promise that I did NOT teach her this behavior in the hopes that I can call the credit card company and tell them that I can't possibly owe them any money because  my dog ate their bill and therefore there's no evidence of the monies owed.  No, I promise she's developed this very strange habit all on her very own.  Still, it probably explains why both dogs, though three, still believe they're only 3 months old.  And behave absolutely accordingly.

So where was I before I started babbling about lost memos from the Director of Puppy Rules and Regulations.  Oh yes.  4:00 a.m.  See?  It's not an hour where anyone should be crawling from anywhere unless perhaps it's from the bowels of a dive bar where your favorite indie band has been jamming without a break all night long!  That is definite worth a crawl.  On all fours, even! 

I am not so lucky, I'm afraid.  No indie bands and dive bars for me right now.  Instead, as I mentioned, I'm crawling from my bed, donning the ever popular dog walking clothes, putting on my headlamp (HEADLAMP!), leashing up the puppies and heading out into the most frigid air on the planet to exercise.

EXERCISE!  Well, perhaps more exercise for Buddha and Stella than for me, but yes exercise.  You see as I've mentioned they still believe they're puppies.  Puppies who need lots and lots of exercise.  If they don't get lots and lots of exercise, Stella decides that she'll exercise her brain by eating my favorite books and Buddha decides he'll exercise his favorite Superdog moves by turning over all the furniture.  As I quite like my books, especially the very few that I still have since the great Divorce Sale of 2008, I try to make sure the dogs get lots of exercise.

It's for that very reason that the three of us found ourselves at Fairmount Park in Sugarhouse a few days ago in the dark long before sunrise.  As is customary, I took the dogs off their leashes when we arrived at the park.  Now, this park is not designated as an off-leash park in Salt Lake, but at 4:00 a.m. in the dark who is going to notice?   Fairmount Park is a rather large park with lots of soccer fields and a very nice skateboard park, too.  There's a duck pond, there are nice trails and my dogs really do love it there.

The dogs were busy chasing each other around in the snow and I was busy keeping track of them.  Stella had gone over to the edge of the skateboard park where she had found some delicious ground score.  Not sure what it was, but it was keeping her quite busy.   As both my dogs have somewhat sensitive constitutions (and I admit this is all my fault for cooking organic diets for them and never allowing them junk food!) I decided I should go investigate what Stella was eating.  I headed in that direction and it was then that Buddha realized exactly what she was doing. 

Now, Buddha doesn't care if Stella is eating a mouse, a rabbit or frozen McDonald's french fries.  If she's eating, he wants it, too.  In fact, he'll push her out of the way and gobble it down without even pausing to ask for the ketchup. 

As he was more concerned with the yummy treat Stella was eating, in typical Buddha fashion, he just wasn't paying very close attention to his surroundings.  So just as he was about to reach Stella, he realized that he was completely suspended in mid air and that the ground beneath paws had completely vanished.  The look of shock and surprise on his face was priceless.  There he was, suspended above an 8 foot deep skate bowl, and there was nothing he could do.  He pawed the air for what felt like FOREVER and then he simply vanished.

At first, I just giggled.  But then when he did not reappear, I worried that he had seriously hurt himself.  I ran over to the edge of the bowl and there he was standing at the very bottom, a look of astonishment on his face, wagging his tail at me.

The bowl he fell into actually has very steep sides.  Pretty much vertical.  There wasn't really a slope for him to walk out.  There also were no steps, no ladder, no way to exit if you were not skating out! 

I leaned over the edge and called to him to try to get him to come to me.  That silly dog just sat there at the bottom of the bowl wagging his tail.  He wouldn't budge.  So that's when my own head started creating all kinds of scenarios.  I imagined I was going to have to call the police.  Get the rescue squad.  Have Buddha air lifted (no not really) by helicopter from the bottom of that bowl.  I would have to explain why I was there at 4:00 a.m. and what my dog was doing off his leash.  And then the good folks of Salt Lake would escort all three of us to the edge of town and tell us never to come back.  We'd already been kicked out of Santa Cruz for our off-leash antics.  Now we'd have to leave Salt Lake, too!

Buddha still was not budging.  No amount of cajoling him could convince him that he could jump back out!  I was getting a bit desperate as I had to still get the dogs back home, cook them breakfast, get myself pulled together and get to Park City. 

I called Stella over, who by this time was finished eating whatever yummy dead thing she had found on the other side of the skate park, put her on her leash and then told Buddha that we were leaving.  Often this is the only way to get Buddha to come along.  It's to give him the impression that he's going to be left behind.

Stella and I said good-bye to Buddha and then we walked away.  As I got to the edge of the skate park I saw one sole black paw creep over the edge of the bowl.  I rushed back, grabbed Buddha's paw, then somehow managing not to tumble in to the bowl with my 150 pound dog, I pulled one paw, then two paws, then grabbing him behind his shoulders managed to get him up and out. 

That silly dog.  I checked him over thoroughly to make sure that he was not injured in any way.  Of course we had only just started the daily exercise regime, so I got both dogs safely away from the skate park and then off we went for more play time.   The dogs chased their ball and wrestled one another in the snow until I was certain they were properly exhausted. 

I'm not sure if Buddha will remember falling into the skate bowl.  Honestly, he surprises me with his brilliance on some days, but other days I'm quite sure that he needs to ride the short bus to school.  He really is my special needs dog.  In so very many ways. 

P.S. There's a new blog located here. I think it's fairly self-explanatory.