nakedjen

Party, Party, Party

Like a rock star.  I have film reviews.  I really do. 

For now, I have pictures.  And a date with a film producer. 

I'll be back. Soon.

Merde

A word to the wise:

When searching for downloads on BitTorrent, be sure that the very important Grey's Anatomy episode that you're downloading and absolutely must see so you can find out what on earth happened to Denny is actually in English.

Unless, of course, you're fluent in French.  Then, by all means, download the French version.

But if you're like me, and you understand only so much French, you'll be screaming MERDE when you push play and Meredith's voice over says, "Quelques jours vous vous réveillez et trouvez dehors vraiment ne devriez pas s'être levé du tout..."

TV for ChezNaked

You know that we don't have television at ChezNaked.  Well, we have a television, but no cable television hook-up beaming us with all the channels all the time to keep us happy happy happy.  Nor do we have Tivo or any of that OnDemand stuff. 

We've managed quite all right though for a home without television.  We've been downloading shows using bit torrent (thanks Dave Winer) and so I've been watching Gilmore Girls every week just like everyone else and am so happy that Lorelai left Christopher (god that was just AWFUL).  Also, you can rent whole seasons of television on DVD from Netflix, so I've been also catching up on Grey's Anatomy (it's actually a very good show) and DearSweetDave and I have been enjoying Arrested Development.  What a fun show that was!  It's always the fun quirky shows that get canceled.

Our lives may have just changed, however.  It may be that our asses are going to grow even wider now that we have discovered this!

Check that out, oh fans of Nakedjen.  That, perhaps, is one of the coolest things I have found on the Internet yet.  Television on Demand.  For your computer.  And if you're like me, and your computer hooks up to your television, well, then it's Television on Demand for your computer that you can enjoy and watch on your TV!

The shows you want.  When you want.  Just like those people who have cable and Tivo. 

Now we're like the cool kids.  Only, I think we were actually cooler than the cool kids when we didn't have TV.  So I'm not sure what we're like now, quite honestly. 

But I'm not ditching the link.  There's more episodes of Grey's to watch. 

The Official Gilmore Give-Up

You're probably quite sick of hearing me talk about Gilmore Girls.  Actually, I'm quite sick of hearing me talk about Gilmore Girls. 

Well, I'm here to tell you that you won't have to hear me talk about it anymore.  At least until this season comes out on DVD or something.  I have been trying to watch the episodes by having my friend tape them for me.  But guess what?  That is just not going so well.  She does her very best.  She really does.  But the last episode I saw was the Parent's weekend episode.  The episode where Lorelei and Christopher decided they were going to Paris.  I haven't seen an episode since.  Why?  Because though my wonderful friend has tried to tape all the episodes that have followed, something has gone terribly wrong and it just hasn't happened.

Quite obviously the Universe is trying to tell me something.  Either to get my own subscription to cable television or to just move on! 

I did try to do the whole bit torrent thing.  Dave Winer was more than patient with me and provided me with an excellent tutorial and all the right tools.  However, we all know that I am quite technically challenged.  The mere fact that I even have a blog is a miracle we shouldn't ponder because if we all think about it too long this blog will probably just go poof into a big puff of pretty fairy dust. 

The bit torrent stuff, despite my efforts and the patient guidance of both Dave Winer and DearSweetDave, proved fruitless.  Right this moment I have three different Gilmore Girls episodes supposedly on my desktop.  Can I watch them?  Nope.  Why not?  Because I can't even figure out how to access them to play them.  I have all the right software installed.  But every time I try to open them the fun little rainbow wheel on my Macintosh goes round and round and round like the wheels on the psychedelic hippie bus of my childhood and nothing else ever happens.  Ever.  Hours go by.  I wait and wait.  Nothing.  It's one long strange trip to nowhere.

So I am officially giving up.  I declare December 6, 2006 as the day I gave up Gilmore.  Will I miss it?  Like I'll miss chocolate and coffee and everything else that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.  But it will be far better than being all excited to watch an episode and realizing that your friend taped an infomercial on a bacon fryer instead. 

A bacon fryer. 

Maybe I should get one for Emily Gilmore.  I bet that's something she doesn't have.

McDreamy meet McBeal

I have to make a blog entry, so I will share this with you.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Don't look at me like that.
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Like what?
Dr. Meredith Grey: Like you've seen me naked!

I have been watching Grey's Anatomy over the last two days.  I got Season One, Disc One from Netflix.  I have watched three episodes.  I know I am very late to the game here, but since nearly everyone I know couldn't stop talking about McDreamy and couldn't stop gushing, I had to see for myself what on earth all the fuss was about.

This is what I've learned so far.

Grey's Anatomy isn't so McDreamy as it is McBeal.  If you watched Ally McBeal, if you were a fan, you'll recognize in Meredith a character who is just as self-absorbed and whiny as Ally ever was.  Like Ally, she's a well-educated career woman who is more obsessed with her love life than she will ever be with her own career ambitions.  Also like Ally she's in an arena that is cut-throat, where people play to win every single moment of every single day.  Instead of a law firm, we've got a hospital.  Instead of John Cage, we've got the Nazi.  Instead of Richard Fish, we've got Dr. Burke.  And instead of Billy, we've got McDreamy.  We've even got Georgia in the form of Cristina and we've got Elaine in the form of Izzie.  Oh and there's George.  Who could easily be any one of the number of men who found themselves in love with Ally while she was still obsessing over Billy. 

The reason, I believe, that folks are chatting about this show around the water coolers on Friday mornings is because it is not just another hospital show like ER.  It is a show about interpersonal relationships that happens to take place in a hospital.  The hospital serves as the backdrop.  But the patient's stories, their lives that are at stake, don't really hold much value for us as we wonder whether or not Meredith will ever date McDreamy.  Or if she'll just continue to obsess. 

Again, I've only seen three episodes on Disc One so far.  So if you're a huge Grey's fan, you'll have to remember that I'm just now arriving at the party and perhaps cut me some slack if I'm getting this all wrong. 

I'm going to keep watching.  I watched every single episode of Ally McBeal.  Every.single.one.  I absolutely loved that show.  So if this show can somehow capture that magic all over again?  I'll keep watching.  For sure.

Oh No Wanda!

This morning I walked outside to put Buddha and Stella in the car to take them for their morning runs and look what I found! 

A smashed tail light.  A scraped up bumper.  A squished wheel well. 

I also found a note.  Linda Martinez left me a note telling me she had touched my vehicle.  She also left me her phone number.  I've been calling her all morning, but so far I've only gotten her answering machine.  I'm hopeful, though.  Most people who leave a note, also have insurance.  So while this is a huge pain in the ass, it isn't the end of the world.  And my car was just sitting there parked.  No one was hurt.  No animals were harmed.  It's just going to be one more thing on my big long list of things that need to be done. 

Meanwhile, is anyone else sad about the passing of Ed Bradley or is it just me?  I'm really sad.  As you all know, we no longer have television at ChezNaked.   But when I was a younger Nakedjen, 60 Minutes was a staple of my Sunday evening fare.  I watched it pretty religiously.  Far more religiously than I ever attended church.  Ed Bradley's interviews were always my favorite.  Especially when he was interviewing a musician or a film director.  His own passion for the arts, and especially for jazz, always came shining through and you, too, got swept up in the glee you know he felt at being able to share those moments as both a fan and a reporter.  I remember Ed Bradley as a White House correspondent, as the reporter from the floors of the political conventions, as the man who just seemed to always give it to me straight.  I honestly feel like a part of my own history is now gone.

It makes me sad to find out that he died of complications from leukemia.  I know that our most public figures lead very private lives.  But I wish that I had known.  Maybe I could have helped him in some small way?  I would have certainly tried to help. 

I will miss him.  I really will.

NaBloPoMo links for today:

Fly Around My Pretty Little Mess

Four Legged Furry Penguins

Fruit Loops and Porn

I'll also remind all of you that it's Friday.  So go get naked.  For at least a few minutes.  And remind yourself just how absolutely beautiful and lovely you are.  Every single inch.

Why Craig Newmark is My New Best Friend

As has been mentioned on here quite recently, I am a rather rabid fan of the Gilmore Girls.  I don't just watch the show, I worship it.  And we don't even have television at Chez Naked.  Which means that in order to actually watch Gilmore Girls, I have to rely upon the kindness of my good friends.

Until this year, I was able to share my Tuesday nights with Gail and Gilmore.  Gail lived just 110 steps away from my front door and she had cable.  And before you go thinking that I was just using Gail for her cable television, think again, grasshopper.  Gail also had a daughter, Amanda, who was the absolute perfect apprentice for my burgeoning tea business.  Plus that daughter was a Virgo!  You know what that means don't you?  It means she organized my office, my tea shop, my everything right down to the last paper clip.  God how I loved that child. 

But back to Gilmore.  Tuesday nights I would walk the 110 steps to Gail's, plop on her couch, and watch Gilmore.  Often times we would plan a meal together to share during the show based upon the previous week's previews.  No joke.  I know it sounds sick, but come on, doesn't it also sound like fun?  You know that it does.  I mean there are Rory and Logan in 1920's garb jumping off of a platform and Gail and I were enjoying a formal High Tea.  You so wish you were there with us.

Much to my dismay, Gail decided to follow her heart (and why that heart is NOT with me in Santa Cruz I'm still trying to discern) to Santa Barbara and I no longer have a comfy couch and cable television 110 steps from my front door.  Oh, well, I'm sure the person who has moved into Gail's apartment probably DOES have a comfy couch and cable television, but as to allowing me to plop down next to her and watch Gilmore?  Not so much.  Especially since I forgot to mention that while watching Gilmore with Gail, I would hit her when I got angry about the writing.  And let's just say I got angry about the writing quite often.  Those story lines with Logan and Rory and with Emily and Lorelai (NakedMom could play Emily Gilmore without a script!) always tend to piss me off because they so closely mirror my own life and when Amy was writing them...well...she'd get it close and I'd scream at the TV, hit Gail, and then go on my ten minute diatribe about how it could have been even better. 

The best part?

Gail would sit and point and laugh at me!  Making me realize just how absolutely silly and full of myself I really was.  What a good friend, huh?

But Gail left!  She left me high and dry without a television! 

I will admit that as the debut date for this year's season of Gilmore Girl's drew nigh, I actually momentarily considered getting cable television at Chez Naked for the sole purpose of being able to watch the show on Tuesday nights.  But my sanity returned when I realized it would require a complete rearrangement of nearly every room in our house to accommodate the cable wires and, well, I really kind of like the current placement of furniture in our house.  Especially where we have our bed.  Moving our bed just felt all kinds of WRONG for a television show.

But what to do?  Santa Barbara was certainly much much more than 110 steps away.  If I was going to walk to Gail's to watch the show, I'd have to leave on Wednesday to get there on Tuesday.  It just wasn't an option. 

My friend, Tree, who is also my business partner in the Travel Agency (you all do remember the Travel Agency, don't you?  I am STILL doing that!) actually loves the Gilmore Girls and likes to watch it.  She lives quite a few more steps away than 110, but she is here in town.  So problem solved.  She would tape the shows for me and I would pick the tape up and watch it. 

This worked out absolutely fine for the first episode.  Which I reviewed for you previously.  But guess what?  It didn't work out so fine for the second episode.  And here is where the whole Why Craig Newmark is My New Best Friend part comes in.  Tree forgot, just plain FORGOT, to tape the show.  She totally spaced that it was even TUESDAY!?! 

So there I was.  Gilmoreless.  A girl without her Gilmore. 

But let's remember one thing if we remember nothing else.  As has been mentioned here ad nauseum, but I'm going to say it again, I am a Deadhead.  And when you've traveled hundreds of thousands of miles following an ancient band of drug addled musicians hoping for one more magical show one thing you learn, practically by osmosis, is to be resourceful. 

I got on Craig's List.  Oh sweet Craig's List.  If only it HAD existed when I was following the Dead.  Hell, if only the Internet (in its current form) had existed when I was following the Dead.  Imagine how much easier those miracle tickets would have been to manifest?  Not to mention trading all those tapes of all those shows?  Or finding a ride to the next show?  Or a couch to call home while on tour?  Sweet Jesus, it would have all been so very simple. Maybe too simple.  I may not have learned anything at all!

Finding a tape of a missed Gilmore Girls episode should be a piece of cake.

So as I mentioned, I got on Craig's List.  I did a search.  Gilmore Girls.  And low and behold I found someone in San Jose who was actually looking for a tape of the FIRST episode.  A tape I happened to have.  So I wrote to this person.  And asked, oh so politely in my nicest Nakedjen way, if he may have perhaps taped the SECOND episode?  And if he did would he be willing to trade for my copy of the FIRST episode? 

He did.  He was.  We did.  Good deeds all around.

Not only that, but he's become my new Gilmore Girls buddy.  He's got my back.  If for some reason Tree and her wonderful husband Steve forget that it's Tuesday again, my new Gilmore Buddy in San Jose will provide me with HIS tape as my back-up.  So now I don't have to stress and worry that I'm going to miss a single episode.  The beauty of Craig's List.  Bringing Gilmore fans together with the click of a simple search button!

It still isn't the same as watching with Gail 110 steps away.  It never will be.  But a girl has to do what a girl has to do or she'll wind up being a girl without Gilmore. 

And a girl without Gilmore will just never do. 

Gilmore Girls: Keep it Smart

as a lot of you know, we don't really have television here at chez naked.  but i have a small (or maybe not so small, maybe it's as big as me) obsession with the television show, gilmore girls.  such is my obsession, that as the premiere for this season grew closer, i actually chatted with dearsweetdave about getting cable television for chez naked so i could watch my beloved show.  i used to watch it every tuesday night at gail's house.  she lived just 110 steps away and it made it quite convenient because she was just as obsessed as i was.  as my gilmore buddy, we used to actually plan meals around the show.  this is not a joke.  we would watch the preview for each week's episode, determine what kind of meal would be most appropriate for that evening's episode and then one or the other of us would be in charge of either preparing or procuring the food.  our gilmore tuesdays were sacred.  and when she decided to move to santa barbara i don't know if i was more sad that she was leaving santa cruz or that our gilmore tuesdays would no longer be. 

my dear friend tree, who is also my biz partner in the travel agency venture, just so happens to also be a gilmore girls fan, as well.  so when i started to have a slight nervous breakdown on tuesday evening (we elected NOT to install cable here at chez naked as it would involve moving lots of furniture into lots of different configurations and we happen to like the current configurations) tree agreed to tape the episode for me.  thank goodness for tree and vcr's, huh?  i watched the premiere episode last night.  what follows is my review of gilmore girls. and if you haven't seen it, stop reading now. because i'm going to write about it. right now.

first off, with the exception of gail, i'm not sure there is anyone on the planet who is quite as passionate about this television show and its characters as i happen to be. i actually chat about them as if they're real people who exist. in my head, they DO exist. i worry about them. i think about them. i'm sick, yes, but for me, they are my friends who live in stars hollow, just down the road from hartford (where i went to college) and who have lives not so very different from my own.

that said, the premiere episode for this season was a shadow of its former self and so were all the characters.  blech.

it is not unlike when aaron sorkin was ousted from the west wing and the writers scrambled to figure out how to write a show that was just as intelligent and witty and engaging in the wake of his departure.  those were big shoes to fill.  i'm sure amy left some pretty stylish and fab pumps to fill, as well. 

amy sherman-palladino has most definitely left the gilmore. and what we're left with is empty storylines and ridiculous dialogue that you don't even want to hear.

when i first started watching gilmore i drooled over the repartee between rory and lorelai. DROOLED all over my own cashmere sweaters. i couldn't believe what i was hearing. the double entendres. the obscure pop culture references. the vocabulary! the rat a tat stacatto.  these people talked like i talked. it was brill. just plain brill. i found myself leaning forward on the couch just to be sure i really heard every.single.solitary.word. i didn't want to miss a single second because i was certain if i did i'd surely miss something fantastically sublime.

in this premiere episode we were given a rory who was stumped by a gift of a rocket ship from her wealthy boyfriend logan. now, okay, perhaps she was stumped at first. but when she figured it out? please tell me that lorelai is NOT going to immediately know the episode from twilight zone that rory is talking about and that the two of them would not fall right into a lightening fast back and forth tit for tat that included a reinactment of the entire twilight zone scene? it was so difficult and painful for me to watch and believe that all lorelai could do was say, "what??...who??...oh, you should go to london!" come on, people. at the very least she'd have picked up her telephone while rory was saying..."i have never felt so loved!" and been calling an airline to book rory a ticket.

i felt so sorry for the actors. they were all so flat. like they had their feet stuck in molasses and were trying their hardest to unstick them. to move faster. to make it all just a little bit more like it used to be.

this was no where more clear than in the final scene with luke and lorelai. luke arrives at lorelai's front door with his truck packed to the gills. this is after kirk has driven taylor's 1964 cherry thunderbird into his diner in a completely silly scene that really was totally unnecessary, but was obviously the writers trying to figure out a way to just a) fill time and b) make sure they included as many of the extra actors who work on gilmore girls in the premiere episode as absolutely possible. but, as i said, totally unnecessary!

luke arrives at lorelai's. he says in 9000 words, asfastashepossiblycan, that he understands that he needs to catch up and that they should go to maryland to get married. or if not maryland, a boat. or to vermont to camp. or whatever. whatever she wants. and the entire time all lorelai keeps saying is, "luke, stop." or "luke, wait."

lorelai doesn't say, "luke stop." she butts in. BIG TIME. in fact, in that scene, luke would have been giving his entire speech and at the same time, lorelai would have been giving her entire speech. luke's would have been WHY THEY SHOULD BE TOGETHER. lorelai's would have been WHY IT'S OVER. and it would have ended like this, both of them simultaneously speaking:

luke: "and we belong together, because, without you, i'm nothing."
lorelai: "and we can't be together, because, last night, i slept with christopher."

and then luke HEARS that, they stare at each other in a long silence and luke gets in his truck and drives off.  fade to black. 

that's gilmore girls, people.

whatever it was we all saw in the premiere is a good attempt at an imitation of gilmore girls. of course, i'm going to stick around and hope that it gets better. HOPE. because i love those people. they're very real to me. and my little visits to stars hollow every tuesday evening really do make me smile. 

dear gilmore girls show runners,

let's keep it real.  and witty.  and smart.
and i'll keep watching.

love,

nakedjen

Perfect Bruschetta and a BIG ASS FAVOR!

It's a well known fact to friends of Nakedjen (that would be me) that I am somewhat picky about the food that I eat.  Actually, the term somewhat is rather relative because to ME I am somewhat picky about what I eat.  To everyone else, I am nearly impossible about what I eat.  Going out to eat with me is always a challenge because there never seems to be anything on the menu that I actually want and if there is something I want, I want to change it.  Meaning that instead of the creamed spinach that comes with the entree, I'll beg them to give me the garlic mashed potatoes that come with that other entree instead.  Or instead of the any of the entrees, I'll ask them to just bring me a plate of all the side vegetables that are being served that night.  Or to make me their eggs benedict without the eggs, without the ham, but add some sliced tomatoes and spinach on the muffins and, oh yes, keep the hollandaise sauce. 

I make the waiters and waitresses of this world crazy.  But...I do tip them veryveryvery well for all the trouble.

Now, in addition to all of this, I'm also always in search of the perfect bruschetta.  Why it is so difficult for otherwise decent Italian restaurants to manage making a classic bruschetta is something that still stymies me.  Poor DearSweetDave has been my companion more times than he probably cares to remember as I've ordered the bruschetta in hopes that it would fulfill my fantasies only to have something less than edible appear.  And then he's listened as I've whined and moaned and carried on and threatened to go back in the kitchen and teach the chef how to make a proper bruschetta because I really do think it is a crime against humanity when you have bruschetta on your menu and then you just butcher it.

Yesterday afternoon was a glorious sunny afternoon in Santa Cruz.  A picture perfect day.  The kinds of days were supposed to have EVERY SINGLE DAY, but have not had very often at all, lately.  We've been socked in gray and dismal weather for what feels like an eternity and I don't know who did something wrong to piss off the weather goddess, but when I find out, I will certainly be giving them an ear full of Nakedjen pissoffedness.

With the sun shining and the weather so warm we could wear t-shirts and sandals, DearSweetDave suggested we go to Felton and try out a restaurant he'd been wanting to try for what felt like an eternity.  It even had outside seating.  We could eat and enjoy the day!  A perfect combination. 

So we drove to Felton (which isn't very far, but far enough that we drove) and found La Bruschetta tucked under the redwoods just below Henry Cowell Park.  There were loads of picnic tables outside and we were encouraged to just choose the one we wanted.  We chose one that was half sunny and half shady.  Fresh foccacia bread and garlic infused olive oil as well as kalamata olives instantly appeared.  I liked this place already! 

Our waiter was more than helpful.  He started rattling off all the specials and then when he learned that it was our first visit he also told us about he "secret" menu that included dishes the kitchen could make but that you'd never know about unless you were a regular.  The restaurant also boasted it's own bruschetta menu with about seven different kinds of bruschetta. 

I won't lie.  They all sounded rather yummy and tempting.  But I am a classic bruschetta girl.  A girl who wants her bruschetta on toast rubbed just so with the freshest olive oil and garlic cloves, topped with chopped organic tomatoes, basil and more garlic and a drizzle of, yes, more olive oil.  The bread needs to be warm.  The tomatoes perfectly ripe. 

It's a tall order, especially on the final day of April.  And I was willing to be forgiving about the quality of the tomatoes, but I had to order the bruschetta and find out if these folks might just possibly know what they're doing.

I told our waiter I was a bruschetta snob.  That I had to give it a whirl.  And then DearSweetDave and I ordered the special roasted beet salad, the baked gnocchi and the talpia all to share.  We were having a feast!

I knew the moment that the bruschetta arrived that I was not going to be disappointed.  It was picture perfect.  But even more importantly?  It tasted even better than it looked.  The tomatoes and basil and garlic were combined exquisitely.  There were just the right amounts of each one so that no one flavor dominated the others.  What you got with each bite was a quick trip to Italy.  La Dolce Vita in your mouth.  Total and complete heaven. 

Even DearSweetDave noticed that they had rubbed the bread just right with the garlic.  It was warm, it was toasted just so, did I mention that it was heaven? 

I was so happy I wanted to go in and KISS the chef.  And order another round.  Oh the sweet goodness of those tomatoes.  Where on earth had they found them?  Perfection.

The rest of the meal did not disappoint either.  Every course was just as good as the one before.  The restaurant prides itself on using all organic ingredients where possible and you all know this made Nakedjen's mouth and stomach a happy mouth and stomach, indeed. 

I was so glad that DearSweetDave had suggested we try this restaurant.  We're definitely going back.  We realized we don't often drive to restaurants anymore because we live downtown.  So we walk.  We eat at the places within walking distance.  But that bruschetta will definitely have me driving to Felton for more.

A CALL TO MY FAITHFUL READERS FOR A BIG ASS FAVOR!!!

Did any of you, any one of you, happen to Tivo or tape West Wing last night (4/30)?  DearSweetDave and I would like to see the episode.  If you did and you'd like to send me a tape, I'd be evereverever so grateful.  My mailing address is:  Nakedjen  P.O. Box 1198  Santa Cruz, CA 95061  I can send $$ for postage and handling and the tape or DVD, if you'd like.  Just let me know.

LiveMeeting Apprentice

It is no secret that we don't have television at ChezNaked.  DearSweetDave and I, in a moment of clarity two years ago, decided that we would be much more productive if our house was not home to over 100 channels of broadcasting enjoyment.  So as soon as Sarah Jessica Parker and her Sex and the City counterparts gave us our final lesson on just how to be fabulous, we pulled the cable plug. 

Our house is situated in such a way that getting even regular broadcast television is no easy challenge.  However, we can, if we're lucky get exactly two stations.  Fox and NBC.  But the weather has to cooperate, the moon and stars must be aligned and the certainly the wind must be blowing at exactly the right velocity and in exactly the right direction.  Otherwise, all you get is a screen filled with gray snow.  And I really like my snow crisp and white and crunching under my feet.

As you regular readers of NakedJen know, I am very optimistic person.  So optimistic, in fact, that I believe that world peace will happen, that George W. Bush will one day be out of office, that Lockheed Martin really will tell us the truth about what they're doing in Bonny Doon and that if I set my VCR to record the NBC broadcast of The Apprentice it will actually, in fact, record it. 

Last night I watched a veryveryvery snowy recording of last week's Apprentice episode.  So snowy that I was quite certain that The Donald had drifts of the white stuff sitting on both shoulders and that winter had come early to Manhattan.  I was really interested in watching this particular episode because it featured none other than Microsoft LiveMeeting.

Now, if you've been reading NakedJen for longer than two years, you might remember that I once worked for a little evil empire located here in Santa Cruz.  And that my job at this little evil empire involved being the product and marketing manager for an enterprise desktop videoconferencing solution that was EXACTLY like LiveMeeting.  In fact, we did it before the folks at Microsoft did it.  Way before. 

You also, if you're a long-time reader, may remember that I, NakedJen, actually considered applying to be a contestant on The Apprentice.  This was when I was still mightily entrenched in the corporate world of evil empires and my thinking was that I could certainly work for The Donald and perhaps teach him a thing or two.  Har!  Obviously not all synapses in my poor little brain were firing!  And I quickly realized that on the day I showed up to actually audition for The Apprentice and decided that I had much better things to do with my life than work for The Donald.  Like I would actually win!  Double Har!  But we all know that I am, in fact, NakedJen and believe that I can do absolutely anything, especially if I am determined, and that if I think I am going to win a job with Donald Trump than I am going to win a job with Donald Trump.  Because, as I said, I am NakedJen and I get what I want.  Triple Har there, just for good measure.

So anyway, last night I watched this very snowy wintry episode of The Apprentice.  It was down to the FINAL FOUR and the two teams of two were tasked with creating a sixty-second commercial for Microsoft LiveMeeting.  My first BIG SURPRISE was who was actually on Microsoft's team of judges.  It was none other than Dustin Grosse.  He who actually interviewed with my small evil empire when I was working there.  I know him!  Smallsmallsmall Silicon Valley world.  I watched as the teams came up with their two separate commercials and I'm screaming at the television and them about how they're missing the key selling points and why are you leaving that point out and on and on and on.  I literally felt my blood pressure start to rise and I got all hyper-active and I realized, rather quickly, that I am SO DAMN THANKFUL that the Universe stepped in and got me out of that corporate madness when it did. 

What was even more interesting to me was the final product from each team and how NICE the Microsoft folks were about what was produced.  I know, very well, that Microsoft agreed to do this whole Apprentice tie-in so that they could get exposure for their LiveMeeting offering.  And I know that the general thought in this world is that there is NO BAD PUBLICITY.  But honey, let me tell you, as a woman who understands that particular technology better than most and who used to market it to the masses, Microsoft got absolutely NO FAVORS from the second 60 second commercial that was created.  NONE.  It only served to further confuse the market about what exactly LiveMeeting does and why anyone would ever think that it would be a value-add solution for their employees or their enterprise business. 

Now granted the average Apprentice viewer is NOT the decision maker at the Fortune 500 office.  Probably not by a long shot.  So most folks who watched that particular episode of The Apprentice will now just know that LiveMeeting exists even if they have no fucking clue what it does or why they'd even want to use it.  So yes, it was exposure.  Free exposure at that.  And Microsoft is continuing the exposure by offering a LIVE CHAT on the software with The Donald this week and another LIVE CHAT with the winner of the Apprentice next week.  Good for them.  That is huge.  What it will do is get the software on loads of desktops across the country.  And that's exactly what you want to do with that product.  Get it on people's desktops and get them to experience it in a FUN way so that they can see the "potential".  When I was at the evil-empire I was always looking for ways to do this, as well.  It would just be interesting to see how many of those attendees evereverever use the software again.  And I can't believe I just wrote that sentence.  Why the fuck do I even care??

I don't, really.  Just in a "I used to do this and can talk about it ad nauseum" kind of curiosity kind of way.  I know if I had actually been on the show (Quadruple Har!) that they NEVER would have had the LiveMeeting as a task.  At least not one that I was going to participate in.  Because surely Mark Burnett and his team must consider the resumes of the folks on the show when creating the tasks.  It would be totally unfair to have that be a task for me.  Or maybe not.  Perhaps The Donald would have stood there and pontificated that NakedJen used to be the Product Manager for a product just like this so he's expecting a stellar performance from her or she will be fired.  Or something like that.

Can I say it again?  I'm so happy that I WAS FIRED.  Thank you, Universe.  The corporate life was not for me.  No matter how much I tried to fit in, Naked people just don't work in corporate environments.  You need too many clothes!