So you know those fabulous plans that I had to attend the Oregon Country Fair? The same plans where I invited all of you along? To join me in the pilgrimage to the celebration of all things fabulous that I never ever miss and that I have declared my religion if I were to practice any kind of organized religion at all?
Yes, those plans.
The thing about life is that it always happens while you're making other plans. My life is no exception. My head, actually, is the culprit here. It's not happy or healthy right now. I've been having an increased frequency of seizures and there's suspect scar tissue that seems to be growing in size and my blessed neurologist whom I really do love has decided that my life is total crap and needs a complete overhaul.
Instead of providing her with proof positive that she's wrong and long list of folks who might vouch that my life is not, in fact, utter crap, I decided that a life with as many seizures as I have been having is, well, actually not a life I care to live. I actually do want to LIVE, all caps, the way Maude would choose to live and I suppose if Maude were told her life was crap and she was having all these seizures she'd at least find some oat straw tea and a new yoga pose to calm her brain the fuck right down.
I've been drinking the tea, that we know. I've also been doing all kinds of salutations to the yogic deities, but there's some piece of the magical puzzle that actually keeps my brain on an even keel that is just missing.
My neurologist and I are starting from scratch. Which means taking me off the medications I've been taking and starting a whole new regimen of new ones. Let's remember, or perhaps I should share for the uninitiated, I am very sensitive to pharmaceuticals. Crazy sensitive. If there's an undiscovered side-effect, I'll be the one to discover it and exhibit it in ways that make the doctors almost clap with so much glee you'd think they were trying to keep fairies alive.
I never, honestly, want to even take medications. Which makes me a difficult patient. I know you're laughing because I also realize that is just one very small line on a very long list of the reasons I am a difficult patient.
This is a very long way of saying, truthfully, that I won't be sharing the merry with my fairies. Not this year. I am trying not to allow the reality of that to tip me over the edge and into the abyss.
Now, all is not possibly lost.
There's a social media conference, EVO11, right here, right in my back yard, that very same weekend that I attended last year and LOVED with all caps in the way that Maude LOVED Harold. I couldn't say enough good things about that conference and it is, hands down, one of the best offered.
I was going to be merry with the fairies, so I did not, of course, volunteer to work the conference this year (like I did last year) thus missing out on a chance to attend the conference for *free*. I was disappointed that they were both on the same weekends in July, but we both know my heart lies in the woods along the Long Tom River in Oregon if I'm forced to choose.
But now, as life will have it when it decides your plans for you despite your desire to be merry with fairies, I will actually be right here. It turns out I have an opportunity to secure a pass, but the pass is $400. That I don't exactly have at the moment. I know, go ahead. Give me the lecture about how I should be far more careful with my MONEY. I hear you. I completely agree. What can I say, doctors and drugs are expensive. There's a reason I avoid them only I can't exactly do that anymore if I want to LIVE.
I would really love, LOVE, to go to EVO11. Lots of the women and men who are going are being sponsored and I thought, well, surely there must be some vegan organic holistic company out there that might want to sponsor me? I seriously think GT's Kombucha should be sending me. Goodness knows I've been selling more bottles of their kombucha and this would be a whole new audience for them. Of crazy mad twitter people. Who are there to understand how to harness the power of all the tools of the Internet to sell their brands. Or maybe Jamie Oliver should send me. Because let's face it, I've been like his single glitter fairy leading the Food Revolution in Utah since before there was a food revolution. Even Luna and Larry's. Which, honestly, would have quite a lovely symmetry to it since I discovered them at the Fair and they even have NAKED flavors. I just know there has to be someone out there that wants a girl who is not afraid to share a BOLD LOVING MESSAGE with the crowds to represent them at EVO11. Or maybe it is just one of you. Some random stranger who reads my blog. I'm happy to go and represent YOU. T-shirts, tattoos on my arms and across my chest, hashtag tweets, sharing your unique product and message with some pretty fantastic members of the social media elite. You tell me what you want, I'll do it. Let's face it, I'm not afraid to get naked. So it would be hard to ask for something I won't do.
So that's my wish. A sponsor for EVO11. I honestly have no idea if this will work or who even reads this blog these days, but you know, you will never get it if you just don't ask. So, this is me, Nakedjen, saying please (and thank you!).





