nakedjen

We used to play for silver, now we play for life...

I wasn't supposed to go.  We all know that I was not going to Las Vegas.  Sphere or no Sphere.   I have been to more Grateful Dead shows than I can even count.  No matter what witchery and magic they concocted inside that ball, I was pretty darn certain it was not going to conjure up anything I had to experience.

Then the phone (no really THE PHONE) rang.  The best of the best of my deadhead friends was on the other end and he insisted that we had to go.  He was so fired up and I love him to pieces and well before I knew it I was headed to Las Vegas.  I still had pretty low expectations, I'm not going to lie.  Remember, Jerry is dead.  Dead and Company is, quite honestly, the best Grateful Dead cover band ever assembled.  It is NOT the Grateful Dead.  

My biggest surprise when I got to Las Vegas was how very many deadheads I met who have never actually seen the Grateful Dead.  They have only seen Dead and Company.  I also met so very many folks this weekend who were attending their very FIRST show.  Mind blown.  I mean this sincerely.  I would hug them and welcome them to the family. 

Here's the thing those of you who have not met me need to know about me: I am extraordinarily curious and I will talk to absolutely anyone.  I will find out who your grandfather is and where you went to kindergarten and what kind of pizza you love best and also if you ever have visited the White House?  If I find out this is your FIRST show?  I'm going to dig deeper and sort out how you learned about the Grateful Dead and who is responsible for you showing up and then I'm going to try to thank that person for sharing the music with you.  The first night I was in the Sphere, I met this beautiful man named Christopher Robin.  His nickname is BEAR.  I actually already have a friend named Christopher Robin, so I had to chat with BEAR about THAT, but also all about his life as a father, a deadhead, an environmental scientist, and the fires in Maui.  See?  I can't just stop at..."Hi, have a good show..."  I spent time talking and chatting with the staff at the Sphere (this is something I also do at every *show*) and I thanked them for the amazing job they all did.  

I won't continue to bore you with all the conversations I had over the course of the four days I found myself in Vegas, but there were a lot.  I used all my words.  I hugged a lot of people.  I made a lot of new friends.  I ran into a lot of OLD friends.  I couldn't believe it.  Sometimes I felt as if I was some sort of princess who had been put under a spell and woken up 35 years later.  You were there and you were there and YOU were there, too.  It was like I had stepped right back into my spot and never actually left.  

Thursday evening found us in section 104.  Unobstructed view.  The stage was right there.  The sound was off the charts.  The graphic experience was, well, just insane.  I kept thinking about Jerry Garcia and right now you're going to have to indulge me for a moment because I may have shared this story before, but I need to share it again just so you all can understand why it hit my little heart so hard.

In the summer of 1990, I had dinner with Bob Weir and Jerry Garcia.  (I KNOW!!!).  I sat next to Jerry and across from Bobby.  (I KNOW!!!).   Jerry arrived late to the dinner because he was at Silicon Graphics.  I gave him a hard time for being late, but then I also was very curious what he was doing there?  I asked him if he was cooking up a new guitar sound or something?  He then shared with me that Silicon Graphics had put him a complete Virtual Reality suit.  Jerry was giggling and his eyes were sparkling as he told me about being a LOBSTER.  "Jen, I was a lobster on the bottom of the sea!  A LOBSTER!! With real claws.  I was snapping at fish.  I was blowing bubbles.  I was looking up at the top of the water.  It was better than ANY drug!"   I asked him if I could go do this?  (Remember it was 1990!).  Like the Wizard of Oz he looked at me over his glasses and said, "No way, no how! This is something special!"  Then he just kept giggling.   He was beside himself with glee.  And I really couldn't blame him.  He was SPECIAL.  

So is the SPHERE.  It's special.  Jerry would have loved it.  I kept imagining him up on stage fiddling with things and thinking to himself, "What happens if I push THIS button?!?"  Not to spoil anything for anyone, but there's a visual segment where we are all together under the sea and, well, I know Jerry would have loved it.  I have to believe if he were STILL alive (and we did talk about this a lot amongst ourselves this weekend) that the Grateful Dead would STILL be doing its thing.  Maybe not touring extensively all over the place all the time, but playing is what Jerry (like Bobby) had to do.  It was his lifeline.  

The band chose to honor Bill Walton that night in an incredibly meaningful and emotional way and every person in the Sphere was included.  I wandered out of Thursday night's show gobsmacked that we still were going to get to see two more.  

Friday night found us in Section 205 and at this point I knew that what we were there for was a total immersive selection of our favourite dead songs played live with our entire family.  What I wasn't expecting, though, was that Bobby was going to take me to church.  I've sometimes explained moments of dead shows in that way and on this night, he chose to do just that.  Stella Blue made me a puddle on the floor.   It was damn near perfect.  The whole experience soaked its way into the cells in my body and I remembered, really remembered, who I am.  You guys...this was medicine of the very best kind.   The woman who has been languishing really NEEDED this and I had no idea that it was exactly this medicine that I've been missing the most. 

I fluffed the people around me with pizza during set break and I swear to all that is holy that they had no idea what on earth happened?  None.  I'm pretty certain they're still confused and wondering about that crazy lady who just appeared with the pizza and then vanished.  

Later that evening...much later...we found ourselves back in our apartment and it was nearly three in the morning and I turned to TB and said, "How the fuck did we do this all the time?  Do you realize that right about now we'd be piling in the car to DRIVE to the next venue?  My body hurts.  I can barely walk.  My head is spinning like I'm Linda Blair in the Exorcist!"  And TB just smiled.  He knew.  He knew his work was done.  He had given me exactly what I needed the most.  ME. 

Saturday arrived and TB and I found ourselves in the middle of the Venetian trying to find our way to an art gallery show and I ran smack into Jonathan Van Ness of Queer Eye and I couldn't help it, I told him I was surprised to see him there, I hugged him (with consent) and wished him a HAPPY PRIDE.  What I do wish is that I had asked him about my hair, but in retrospect I'm sure he would have had a lot to say and probably would have even more to say about my lack of skin care routine.  Onward.  The gallery show proved to both of us that old and new deadheads still have lots of dollars to spend on the little things (and the big things) and everything in between.  

By the time I got to the Sphere on Saturday night, I really thought I had used all my words.  I also did not realize how emotional I would be standing in General Admission on the floor.  I was once again in awe of the amount of new family friends who were there to experience the band for the very first time in their lives.  Traveling from distant shores to be standing right there simply because.  Wow. 

If I'm going to be at a Grateful Dead show, a proper one, I'm going to be on the floor, somewhere on the rail.  Bobby is going to spit on me.  It's an honor to say that.  

There I was.  There they were.  A band beyond description.  Like Jehovah's favorite choir.  I forgot about the time.  Saturday night at the sphere was pure unadulterated magic.  Every single note, every single memory, every single emotion, every single every THING just blissed together and I will never ever be quite the same.  To the other 18,000 people who were there creating that alchemy....Thank you.  You are kind. 

I have no regrets.  The shape of my heart has changed.  Better days are definitely ahead. xo

Edit this setlist | More Dead & Company setlists

Edit this setlist | More Dead & Company setlists

Edit this setlist | More Dead & Company setlists

Best Tips for Dead and Company Residency at the Sphere

If you decide that the Dead and Company Residency is something that you just have to experience (and if you consider yourself a Deadhead, you really should experience it) here are some helpful tips so that you don't have to spend your kids college funds or mortgage your house or max your credit cards to make it all happen.  We all LOVE this band, we all have already spent a fortune following them around, we all have the t-shirt.   If you want to go and be a high roller Vegas style, go for it.  I'm not going to tell you how to spend your money.  However, if you're wondering how to make this happen AND still be responsible and do all the other things in your life this is the list for you.

Look at all the remaining shows they're playing and choose a weekend that works for you.  I will share that Las Vegas only gets HOTTER as the summer wears on and so the cost for hotel accommodations tend to drop.  However, I'd absolutely skip JULY 4th weekend (lots of people have that as a built in HOLIDAY) and I might not go for the shows on August 1 simply because that is Jerry's BIRTHDAY and, well, Jerry's Birthday.   

If you're flying, try to fly in the day before your FIRST show.  Whatever day you're thinking that will be.  Not everyone wants or needs to go to all three shows in a weekend run, but I will admit that it is absolutely exhilarating after experiencing the FIRST one to know that you've got at least one more.  The reason I'm telling you to come the day BEFORE is because so many people have already missed their shows COMPLETELY because their flights were changed/rescheduled/cancelled.  You do not want this to be you. 

There are thousands of options for places to actually stay in Vegas, but I am going to recommend that you choose one of the many that are walking distance to the SPHERE and I'm also going to recommend that you take advantage of the ones that have a kitchen.  Highly recommend Holiday Inn Club Vacations at Desert Club Resort.  You get everything you need including a view of the SPHERE.  There's no gambling, quiet, a kitchen, coffee makers (these are NOT available at the VENETIAN) and swimming pools! 

Ask your LYFT or UBER driver to take you from the airport to the grocery store of your choice before going to your hotel, especially if you're staying at one with a kitchen.  STOCK UP on lots of water and electrolytes, but also foods that will make you happy during your stay.  Things you usually eat.  Not too much, but enough.  This way you don't have to eat out for every meal.  I never ate out for a single meal the entire time I was in Vegas, but that's just me.  You're going to want to be sure that you're always drinking WATER, as well as ELECTROLYTES.  You get dehydrated in Vegas very quickly.  They allow you to bring a CLEAR empty water bottle into the show, so I actually did this along with an electrolyte packet.  Emptied it into my water bottle.  Had electrolyte water to drink for each show.  I can't stress this enough.  You're going to be walking a lot.  You're going to be DANCING a lot.  You need to pace yourself, but just make sure you HYDRATE. 

Do not buy your tickets in advance.  You're a deadhead, tried and true.  You do not need to do this.   Cash or Trade and TickPick are your very best friends.  Ask me how I know?  If there are a whole slew of you coming, well, you may want to be more assured that you have your tickets.  Even so, I highly recommend you watch the forums and these sights and even put out a request for the tickets that you need.  You will absolutely find what you want.  Anything in sections 104/105 or 204/205 or if you really love GA then GA will make your whole experience.  The 400 level is just VERTIGO inducing, but I am an OLD LADY and YMMV.  Also, just talk to people.  I found a ticket just by mentioning to someone randomly while helping him with his poster at the Merch Booth.  I will also share this observation:  I was out in the hallways on the 100 level for a bit and I had the WHOLE PLACE to myself and thought..."Wow, in the before times this would have been FILLED with spinners."  The sound was better out there than any arena anywhere I've ever been.   Back to TICKETS:  Watch Cash or Trade and TickPick.  Make an ISO on Cash or Trade for your tickets specifically.  As with everything, the closer you get to the actual SHOW, the lower the ticket price goes AND you can negotiate.  MIRACLES do happen.  Do not panic.  We never panic.  The ticket will always show up and it will be exactly the one that you're supposed to have.  

Take a walk through SHAKEDOWN STREET and the GRATEFUL DEAD EXPERIENCE at the Venetian.  Let people know that you're looking for tickets (I had a sign!).  But also just soak in the glory of being there with your extended FAMILY of 18,000 other fans who love this band as much as you do.   Buy a t-shirt (because you know that you want to) or a sticker.  Support these artists...they're our family!  SHAKEDOWN STREET is located in the TUSCANY RESORTS.  SHAKEDOWN SHUTTLE SERVICES provides a donation based shuttle between Shakedown and various resorts.  Also other spots.  Definitely worth supporting them! 

Eat before you go to the show.  Of course they sell food and drinks inside the SPHERE.  You're far better off eating before you get there.  Again, I'm not going to tell you what to eat, but I am going to tell you to HYDRATE. I'll mention here, that you also want to wear really comfortable shoes.  The entire place is CONCRETE.  Also, it's COLD.  Or it was for me.  The second night I was freezing in my 204 seat.  The ushers/security could not be kinder or more helpful.  I am going to share here that if you happen to have NARCAN and you know how to administer it, I'd suggest bringing it with you.   You may save a life.

So, to repeat:   
Eat. Hydrate. Comfortable Shoes. Water Bottle. Electrolytes. TICKET!!! (because by now I'm sure you've found one). 

Let's go see this incredible show!!!! 

Wake up to find out...Rinse. Repeat.  As I've mentioned, you need to pace yourself.  If you have a pool at your spot, take advantage of it. SOAK.  But do not overdo it in the SUN.  Naps are a good idea.  Rest.   Vegas is high over stimulation.  You get PLENTY OF THAT at the show.  Again, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life.  You do you, boo.   I will just share that dropping over and passing out inside the SPHERE is not the way you want to remember this experience.

There's nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.  Enjoy.  I really believe that all of us who have ever stood there at any time in our lives and born witness to the glory that is this band should share in this experience.  It is just that great.  xo

 

The Languishing

a.  over the past 5 days, i've seen 3 doctors.  4 if you count my acupuncturist, but who is really counting?  i honestly have not been myself since, well, i'm not even certain when all of this started?  maybe when i got back from the trip to thailand?  maybe then?  maybe after Sundance?  i certainly kind of sucked it up and felt myself during Sundance, but it was a slippery slope and i definitely clung on to every single solitary hug and smile and interaction during that festival as if they were lifebuoys drifting by just to keep me afloat.  the other days, the days not counted in the festival days, the inbetween times, i have felt like i've been sitting on the bottom of the ocean looking up through the murky dirty waters holding my breath and waiting for that moment when i might, just might, float back to the top.

it's been awful.  and i feel awful even writing about it here because, let's face it, putting it into words and telling anyone else about it means that these feelings are real.  while i'm sitting there on the bottom of the ocean, looking up, holding my breath, trying to find my mojo to just SWIM, damn it, i also remind myself just how very fucking privileged i am and that i really need to stop with the ache in my chest and get over myself and, you know, stop with all this languishing.  i make promises to myself and bargains and then immediately break them and then make excuses and then decide that i'll do better tomorrow and then, well, i don't and there i am staring up at my ceiling trying to gamify my own life and this is not going to end well is it?

b. the doctors stuck me and prodded me and told me there's nothing wrong with me.  except, perhaps, that i eat too much.  i kind of laughed at that because i hardly eat anything except beets, arugula, espresso and kombucha, but...i suppose even those things can comprise too many calories if you're the size of a gnome and not the size of the jolly green giant.  i was told to stop consuming so many calories.  ahem.  i swirled about the drain with this for about 48 hours and then decided that i will just eat whatever it is i want to eat, thank you very much.  as a person who already has disordered eating and thinking, i can't be told to just STOP eating so many calories.  i'll get dogmatic about it and just stop eating completely because i'll be determined to be the valedictorian of not eating.  i believe, but i'm not certain, that not eating is not a helpful way to find my way to the surface.  i'll just keep eating the beets. 

c. is there a c? oh, yes.  i don't feel useful.  i think that's the biggest quandary here.  i need a bigger purpose. or project. or...i don't know??  there are so very many of you out there that i love and support who are quite honestly changing lives and making this world a much better place.  every.single.day.  and what am i doing?  languishing.  sigh. 

i fully admit (100%) that this entire post is the kind that makes you want to slap me upside the head and say: DUDE! SNAP OUT OF IT! and i kind of need someone, somewhere to just show up and do that.   this (c) is where i tell you that i have passed up on a few opportunities in the past month because of mental health AND financial reasons and i am so damn tired of saying no and it is time for me to turn that beat around.  or beet as it were.  it feels like every morning i get reminded that tomorrow is not promised.  if i don't say YES right now, no one else is ever going to say it for me.  i understand that grief is a bitch, but this is not that. or i don't think it is?  a good dose of YES and showing up and embodiment would definitely help. 

d.  i may have forgotten how.  i'm actually serious.  i might just have to fake it.  and i don't like faking it. we all know that.  

Get A Load Of This...

A couple of weeks ago, I was enjoying a Chinese New Year celebratory dinner with a group of my professor's colleagues and somehow I shared that I had attended a boarding school on the East Coast for high school.  A school where every moment of every day was truly regimented.  Tick tock we were always told where to be and what we were supposed to be doing.  We actually had to get ourselves up and sign in at breakfast every single day no later than 7:30 a.m. on the dot and from there our days continued complete with a dress code to follow and all kinds of rules that would make most of you laugh at loud thinking about Nakedjen not only being agreeable but, you know, showing up and complying.  The other professors at the dinner found it hard to believe that I thrived in this environment, but I explained that I appreciated the structure and I really loved that the school provided me truly expansive and safe space for my mind to flourish.  

Those who were there with me, who went to that tiny little school in Delaware, all have their own stories to share.  You all can do the math.  This was over 40 years ago.  The lens is softer, fuzzier, perhaps even a bit gentler than when were all there running the one-mile loop before an afternoon practice or staying up far, far too late sharing the biggest possible bag of M&M's just so we could finish a paper in time for class in the morning.

Blah, blah, blah...where's all this going?

Yesterday, I got to hang out with my roommate.  I haven't seen her in 40 years.  That's a really long time in dog years or even in people years, honestly.  
You know what I'm going to say next. 
Our conversation picked up right where we left off.  Not making that up.  Hearts absolutely recognize one another and just know.  They just do.

We did not even try to fill in any blanks.  We just used all our words and I remembered, so clearly, why I loved her the most and why Mary O had always been my first and best choice as a roommate.  She sees me for who I am.  Then and now.   What a gift to have someone who understands you for who you are and loves you completely anyway.  Treasures.  

Remember how I mentioned that we should be checking in on the ones we love?  Showing up?  Pick yourself up off the floor and just make it happen? Don't wait for tomorrow? 
I promised Mary that I wouldn't wait 40 more years before I showed up for our next hug.  xo

So, I'll ask again....How can I help?

I promise you, I'm not the rehab counselor that you're looking for. Unless you're hoping to eat lots of beets & arugula & drink kombucha! ❦

 

I tweeted that 12 years ago...

Yesterday, while I was standing in line at my local health food emporium to purchase a few supplements, the woman in front of me noticed that I was getting a particular supplement from Source Naturals and said, "Oh, my friend told me I should be taking that..."  I looked at her, surmised that she probably SHOULD be taking it, asked her if she would like my bottle and explained that I would go back and get another one for myself.  She added my bottle to her myriad collection of things and I went back to find another bottle.  When I came back she asked me how I possibly knew that she needed the bottle and I quickly explained that I was an herbalist.  

Remember that all of this is happening in the checkout line.  

"You're an herbalist who volunteers at Sundance?"  
"Yes.  I am.   I've been volunteering at Sundance for a very long time." 

She rattled off a few films from this years festival that she saw and also shared that her sister had a documentary in last year's festival.  Salt Lake City is really Small Lake City and this happens here pretty frequently.   Then she noticed another supplement in my stash and wanted to know why I was getting it?   The cashier wanted to know, too.  So I shared about its particular benefits and the reasons why my menopausal body just feels BETTER when I take it twice a day and she nodded along and I explained to the cashier that it wasn't quite time for her to add it in to her regimen, but did share that there was something else for her if she was feeling less than optimal.  

We're still standing in the checkout line.  There's a snafu with her member number.  I still have not paid for my supplements.  I actually have to go to my own appointment, but I also realize that this woman, in this very moment, needs just a smidge of kindness.  We all can do that.  I absolutely can do that.  

She asks me where I work.  I explain that I work at an acupuncture clinic, but I don't actually provide the acupuncture or even do herbal consults there, I just take good care of the patients.  I offer to give her my phone number and share that I am happy to help her and that I never charge for my services.  

She looks at me like I have literally just sprouted a unicorn horn from the middle of my forehead.  

"Why would you not charge?  That's insane!" 
"I just really believe it's a gift.  We share our knowledge and help one another to feel better.  That if you're better, it will ripple out and our world will be better." 
"Wow."

We exchanged phone numbers.  I told her to put me in her phone as NAKEDJEN because, well, obviously.  I also told her it was a very long story and I'd explain later.  She left, I apologized to the cashier for taking SO MUCH TIME, the cashier said she LOVED with this kind of thing happened, I paid for my supplements and hurried out the door to my appointment.  When I got there I sent this text: 

Nice to meet you today at checkout. 
Definitely take two a day.
How can I help? 💜

"Who's The One That Knows Illegal Ninja Moves From The Government?"

It's officially week two of Sundance and because of circumstances a bit above my pay grade, I have barely seen any films at all.  

On the second day of the festival, I was pulled from the job I thought I was going to do to a job I am certainly qualified to do, but that requires me to use all my fluffing talents all the time non-stop.   It's really fun, honestly and I love it, but goodness gracious, I think my pampering and catering muscles are maxed out.  Phew.  

I've met some extraordinary and lovely filmmakers and talent from all over the world in the last few days.  People who have, honestly, risked their own lives to bring their stories to the screen.  While we sit in a small dark theatre watching a kidnapping happen in Haiti or the training of soldiers in Ukraine or how painting helps to heal from a traumatic childhood what we we may not realize is that these stories took lifetimes, years upon years, to bring to the screen.  

It is a privilege and an honor to be able to support these artists in a very small way while they are here at the festival.  With each screening, as they come into the Green Room, my first words are:  I'm so very happy that you're here.  How can I make this your best screening yet?  

And then?  We do just that.  

P.S.  I have seen, in no particular order, GHOSTLIGHT, PORCELAIN WAR, MY OLD ASS, DOCUMENTARY SHORTS, ANIMATED SHORTS, and THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF MAGICAL NEGROES and I'm going to tell all of you to go see GHOSTLIGHT and PORCELAIN WAR if you're able to do so.  The end. Oh...and also see KIDNAPPING, INC.  I saw about 20 minutes of it last night.  I am going to see ALL OF IT and you should, too. 

60

Sixty is twenty times three.

Or, probably more appropriately in my case, three times twenty.  

And today, on this day, on this given Sunday, it's the number of times I've twirled all the way around the sun. 

I honestly, very honestly, figured that by the time I got here I'd have accomplished a whole lot more with my life.  I'm looking around and thinking, my God, how did I get here?  It isn't a nonsense question.  My three year old self had mighty ambitious plans.  Like being President kind of plans.  However, somehow, my three year old self is kind of still in charge.  Making all kinds of crazy-ass decisions, zigging when she should zag, rescuing strays of all sorts, free-falling just to see if the net will still catch her, and setting fire to bridges not just so she can find her own way in the darkness, but also so she can keep the monsters that haunt her from following behind. 

I want to believe that I'm a grown-up adult who is responsible and dependable and reliable and honorable and someone you can trust with your secrets.  Inside?  I feel like the most you can trust me with is your dog.  I'm great with your dog.  And your beets.  I'm also really great with your beets.  Also?  I actually am very good with your secrets.   I never spill the beans.

I am, though, still that 3 year old who will throw off all her clothes and get naked to make the fairies come out of the trees because she can STILL see them sitting there and knows that it is exactly what makes them feel the most comfortable.  While that calendar may say that I am sixty today, my heart, the one beats way outside of my chest, the one that will stop and check on strangers to make sure they're ok and shares all her sandwiches with people she's never even met, that one, is still, well, three. 

Three times twenty. 

Girl math. 

Twirling and spinning and refusing to all fall down.  xo

 

So You Want To Go To Sundance...

• I tell people that this entire Festival business is like a huge game of chess. You are the queen. Which means, yes, you have all the power, but you also can fall over and collapse if you are not careful. I have encouraged those who join me in the festival madness to hydrate, choose good shoes, get sleep now, and remember that we do this because the Filmmakers have risked everything to tell us their story. I appreciate them so very much. Here we go!
  
  Tomorrow, I pick up my credential and a bunch of other stuff that gives me full access to Sundance. If you've actually met me (and I know some of you actually have met me) you'll no doubt have heard me say at least once that the ONLY reason I live in Utah is because of Sundance. I mean, well, I may also live here because of a certain professor and his not so small child (who is joining me in the festival madness this year) and maybe even a certain coffee shop, BUT…Sundance is how I ended up here in 2008 and Sundance, if I'm really honest, comes around at just the moment when I'm ready to pitch it all in and cry UNCLE. So, thank goodness for this festival that happens in January and breathes life back into my soul.
  
  Enough about me. Let's talk about you. Here are my tips for making your festival the best festival ever even if you're not famous and do not have a PR team making or have ever been a part of the Hollywood machine. Yes, even if you're just a person who loves film and wants to come and see what it is all about. This is especially for you because I feel like Sundance is for all of us, especially those of us who really love film.

• It's not too late to come and enjoy SUNDANCE.

  I know you think you've missed out. You haven't. There are still single tickets available to a whole lot of films. There are also passes for those of you who want to splurge! If you don't want to come to Utah, you can even watch from the comfort of your own home and, as with the NJFF, sometimes that isn't such a bad thing.
  
  Here's my best secret. The WAITLIST and/or the tried and true friends who do not show up. If you know me, you also know I'm a deadhead who has stood in a million parking lots and gotten tickets to every.single.show ever. The same is true for Sundance. I have never NOT gotten into a film that I have really wanted to *see* no matter how many seats were available or if it was SOLD OUT. It is about persistence and patience and, yes, perhaps a bit of magic. The ECCLES THEATRE is the largest of all the Sundance theatres in the festival and your chances of finding a ticket for any screening there are pretty darn good. But before you go trying to find your MIRACLE TICKET, my better suggestion is this: Go to the Park City Box Office and ask them directly: What do you have available for today? A whole lot of people turn in their tickets and/or exchange them because they change their minds or their schedules change or things just happen. I used to work at the Box Office and it was amazing to me how many tickets we'd have come available DAY OF because of this. Plus? There are also tickets *dropped* the day of, as well. All this to say, you can have an amazing festival just by being really FLEXIBLE and being open to what the Universe is going to provide.

• Walk Main Street and pop in to the pop-ups!
  
  First off, you never know who you'll bump into while walking Main Street in Park City, especially during the opening weekend. It's kind of a madhouse (admittedly) but what festival is not, really? Every sponsor has taken over a storefront of some sort and has a pop-up. A lot of these are ONLY for the opening weekend (they used to last all week) and while you may feel like you do not *belong*, trust me, you absolutely BELONG. YOU, my friend, ARE THE FESTIVAL. I tell this to everyone. We're so glad that you're here, we're so happy that you've decided to come and we want you to have the best time ever. The sponsors want you to enjoy their *experiences* with you. Last year, I went to a SLUTTY VEGAN party, quite by accident. I want to tell you that was one of the highlights of my entire day that day. All I kept thinking is, "Why don't we have this food in Utah all the time?!” I’m still waiting for that to happen. All this to say, if you're feeling called to *step inside* I want you to step inside and enjoy yourself. Please. If you do find yourself inside the Sundance Merchandise Store and you're contemplating ANYTHING available there, don't hesitate. I've done this one too many times only to have that special something just VANISH. It is not lost on me that the STANLEY CUP dropped today and is already sold out (hello Utah). Get it while you can. It won't be there when you circle back. Which brings me to my *next* subject:

• Wear sensible shoes and sensible clothes.

  This is Utah. It will be snowing. There will be ice. You do not want to teeter totter up and down Main Street and in and out of buildings for twelve plus hours (I'm not joking) in your Louboutin heels. I've assisted a whole lot of ladies who have made this mistake. It's NOT pretty. Sorels are your friends! If you must, get those damn Prada lug boots. However, for the love of all that is holy, let's stay away from spiky heels and slippery red bottom shoes.
  
  Your cute one piece apres ski outfit? It's great. However, remember that you're going to need to go to the bathroom and a whole lot of these spaces that are being repurposed have minimal bathroom facilities and you may not want that one piece you're sporting to be ON THE FLOOR while you're taking care of business. Trust me. Some of these spots are just glorified porto-potties. My best recommendation? Make it comfortable and black. You also want a warm, but not too bulky coat. It's Utah. Accent with an oversized colourful scarf that can double as a blanket in the theatres. Especially if you are planning to sit in the dark and watch films in addition to hitting Main Street. Carry a sensible *bag* for your water bottle, phone, an extra charger possibly even a physical notebook. So, yes, let's talk about that bag…

• You need a sensible bag because….
  

  If you've never been to Utah, altitude sickness is a real thing. You are going to want to have a refillable water bottle in that bag. Not only are you now at an altitude you may not have experienced before, but the air is also VERY DRY. You're going to want to hydrate. Way more than you think. In addition to the water bottle, I suggest you throw in some lip balm. Whatever kind makes you happy. Also, some Emergen-C. Or whatever it is that you take to keep the ICK away. The Sundance Flu is not a laughing matter. We're all in small theatres and jammed in small party spaces and yelling loudly to be heard. Trust me. There are so many people who by Day 6 are complaining of a sore throat and worse. Snacks are also a good thing to throw in that bag. What makes YOU happy? Throw those in because there are times when you literally go from film to film to film without a break and those snacks and your water bottle? LIFE SAVING. There's a reason I call this my BLISS BAG. Mine also just might have a fork and spoon and definitely a few extra handkerchiefs and most certainly a mask (you never know)!! Also? An extra phone battery and charging cords. Why? Because Park City is NOTORIOUS (!!) for having crap cell reception and our phones die just when we need them the most. These days, as in 2024, everything SUNDANCE happens online. You need to download the Sundance2024 App to your phone and then do just about every.little.thing right from there. So if your phone is not working…pfft. You're SOL. Trust me, I'm so damn old school, I absolutely wish this were not so. I'd far rather be your girl in Uggs scoring a miracle ticket from the friend she just made on the bus. THAT DOES HAPPEN. It will happen, though, while you're phone is sitting in your bliss bag.

• You can NOT possibly do everything. A NO is a very powerful YES.
  

  I've been doing this particular festival for a very very long time. It is tempting to try to squeeze all of the films, all of the panels, all of the dinners, all of the parties, all of the after parties, all of the after after after parties and then some in because of FOMO. Let's remember that you're only ONE person. You can not possibly suck this entire festival through an earth friendly metal straw even if it is as thick as a tail pipe. Just not happening. I encourage you to listen to your own body and to happily smile, say thank you to whomever is inviting you to that oh so exclusive party way up in the canyon and remember that these are all just PEOPLE, just like you, but…and this is important, there is NO ONE ELSE quite like you and your own health and well-being and happiness is priority number one.
  
  My other golden rule? Smile. Talk to people while you're waiting in line. Stay off of your phone. There are no strangers at SUNDANCE. We're all here, from all over the world, because we really love film and the people who risk everything to make them. You will not regret sharing your heart with the people around you in line, in the theatres, on a bus, in a random bathroom, in a shared LYFT ride, at that party where you never expected to end up. Tell your STORY and then listen with your heart as the people your sharing this festival with dare to tell you their own.
  
  The magic is all about to begin.
  #sundancefilmfestival #sundance

How It Started....How It Is Going

This parade is for every one of us who got chosen last for the kickball team.

It is for seven year old me who played by herself on the playground during recess.

It is for that small child in all of us who always struck out at bat, never got the ball in the basket, rode her bike to school, but never won a race.

It is for all of us who were never quite good enough for Varsity sports teams in school because we were just too damn slow, not quite tall enough, too clumsy and not a good *fit*.

It is for the ones who finish last, but still finish because you are not going to not finish. You always finish what you start.

It is for those of us, the survivors, (of #allthethings) who after trauma somehow choose to still show up.

This is for every one of you. For your unbridled joy. The world needs your joy more than ever right now.

This is me on the day the #Peloton arrived. I knew I needed it. I had no idea how much. 

For 365 days in a row, somehow, some way, I chose me and I chose to be here, on this bike, every.single.day.

In a year robbed of every ritual I had ever known before, the handlebars held me up, absorbed my grit and my sweat and my grief, allowed me to remember that being human is being really messy and taught me with grace that the one thing in this world I can control is actually being right here, breathing in and out, one two one two, on the bike that goes absolutely nowhere but has taken me to places I never knew I needed to even go.

Exactly 365 days later. This is me. Hopping off the bike after doing exactly the same ride I had done the very first day the bike arrived.  My improvement and transformation speak for themselves, but honestly, I am so very grateful for the community I found while sitting here on this bike that goes nowhere. 

 

 

 

I learned what everyone else already knew.

Movement really is medicine.

It's always been more than a bike.

Showing up with my love goggles and my sparkles to celebrate just being ALIVE. It's been a very long year. 

 

Together we go far.

Here's to another 365 days.

One blue dot at a time.

 

If you want to join in the fun with me, you can find me, as with everything as #nakedjen on the leaderboard on the bike that goes nowhere.  Also, if you'd like to purchase one for yourself you can use this discount code GUYQYU to receive $100 of accessories for the bike (or tread) at purchase.  I used it when I purchased to get a mat for under the bike, shoes AND weights and honestly that made my commitment to ME that much greater.  

The 2020 Nakedjen Film Festival

The Nakedjen Film Festival (#NJFF) started over 20 years ago as my way of avoiding the Feast of the Cash Register.  

Christmas Day, as many of us know, can be fraught with family of origin drama or even with the horrors of non-family of origin drama and there was no better way in my own mind to avoid all of this than to go sit in the dark with a bunch of misfit toy friends and watch stories unfold on a big screen.  The kindness of Hollywood meant that they understood this even better than I did and so they saved their best Oscar hopefuls for a Christmas day opening.  I'd spend the week before pouring over the scheduled films, choosing which ones to see when, smuggling in yummy snacks to share and including a break in there somewhere for all of us to gather at a Chinese restaurant to nosh and laugh and, yes, talk about the films. 

The Nakedjen Film Festival is a marathon from start to finish, but it is honestly, the best way to spend the holiday if you need to avoid the trappings of Christmas.

In the year of our Pandemic, 2020, Hollywood (who has never actually known they're participating in the Nakedjen Film Festival) is delivering the #NJFF directly to a couch near you and I could not be happier.  It means that should you like to participate the films are as close as your remote control.  I realize that not everyone has access to all of these streaming services and that makes me a tiny bit bonkers.  In my perfect world, these services would give us a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE and allow you to stream these films FOR FREE at least for the holidays.  Capitalism still rules the day, however.  The studios have not been visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present or Future, I suppose and so, well, while I can share with you where you can see these films, I must admit that they're not free.  Of course they would not be free if we were gathering together in a proper theatre, either.  We need to remember that.

Please remember that these films are simply a suggestion, as always.  Programming for the Nakedjen Film Festival is always done with a nod to both entertainment, but also to films that make you really think and perhaps even go huh?!?  I like to sit and the dark and escape, to be taken on an adventure, to be told a story that I never would have been told otherwise.  Films for me have always been my refuge, my safe space.  

I hope you'll make yourself something truly delicious, share it with your #pandemic pod, plop yourselves on the couch in comfy clothes and let the magic unfold and carry you away.

Happy Festival.  May the story that you find be the one that is written on your own heart.  xo

Festival Schedule

Wonder Woman

Available on HBO MAX
I feel like we have all been waiting ten years for this film. We haven't, we may feel that way after watching it? Who knows?  But it's coming to your couch, so you can watch and decide for yourself. 

SOUL 
Available on Disney + 

PIXAR. Questlove and Daveed Diggs. I swear I'm getting a Disney + sub just for this! Souls in training...yes. xo

TRANSHOOD

Available on HBO Max
I'm here for these kids and learning more about exactly what it means to just be human.

 

KAJILLIONAIRE

Available on Amazon Prime 
It's Miranda July. Yes, it's been out a while. I missed it at Sundance, so I'm including it for my own Christmas present. 

THE MIDNIGHT SKY 
Available on Netflix 

Would we be able to call it a festival if we did not have some sort of blockbuster that dealt with the apocalypse?  No. So here we go.  And we get George Clooney. The end. 

MA RAINEY'S BLACK BOTTOM 
Available on NETFLIX

Viola Davis. Chadwick Boseman.  The esteemed August Wilson.  Do I really need to say anything else?  This film was made to drop on Christmas.  This one is like going to Church. 

LET THEM ALL TALK

Available on HBO MAX

An Amuse Bouche from our friend, Steven Soderbergh.  Starring Meryl Streep.  Alternatively, you can stream THE PROM with Meryl and her friends on NETFLIX.  Or go all in and stream them both.  It's like Meryl decided to show up for you both in your stocking and under the tree!!

WOLFWALKERS

Available on APPLE TV 
Irish folklore, animation, it's actually fun for the whole family.  Maybe a great bedtime story?  

A VERY MURRAY CHRISTMAS 
Available on NETFLIX 

I'm not me if Mr. Murray if not making an appearance.  Hot dogs are on him.  May your holidays be merry and bright. xo

Clyde's Cookies

Pandemic Times call for cookies.  Clyde's Cookies.  

Here's the recipe.

Here's the recipe:

RECIPE

1 cup dates (soak in hot water if using medjool)

1 cup almond flour

1/2 cup walnuts

2 Tbs Vanilla Extract

Vegan Chocolate Chips

METHOD Pulse dates and Almond flour together in food processor to make dough. Transfer to mixing bowl and add in chocolate chips and vanilla extract and walnuts (if you want those things), combine. Using a tablespoon, drop and press out on a cookie tray. Bake at 345 degrees for about 10 minutes (watch them carefully). Let rest and then EAT!