nakedjen

Mother of Dragonflies

As I wandered through Phuttamonthon relishing in the small gardens and the lush greenery and getting lost along the paths that led along canals full of fish of all kinds while the air was pulsing with the smell of sweet jasmine, I kept thinking..."I should have brought Buddha.  This would be a grand place for him."    

I know, I know. I'm still carrying around my dead dog in the creases of my heart reserved for just that kind of thing.  Resting places for dead dogs to call upon when you need comfort.  Even while I thought those VERY WORDS, I also admonished myself because I left Buddha in the temple, specifically, at Burning Man, as well as in temples and shrines all over the world *last year* after he graduated.  He's well enshrined, well honored, well remembered.  He's also back sharing my pillow with me every night, let's not forget.


Still...

Just as I reached the tall standing Buddha in the center of the park, again lamenting the absence of my own Buddha, I received a text from my professor asking if I was at "Buddha's Headquarters?"  Meaning, yes, the dog.  I will be the first to admit that we have anthropomorphed the dog into a god, but aren't all dogs gods to some degree to those of us who are lucky to share our hearts with them? 

I was about to reply to him when, out of nowhere, seven dragonflies appeared.  

Dragonflies. 

Of course.

When Buddha died last year, dragonflies appeared.  In late March in Utah.  Dragonflies would appear whenever I walked Stella. In the snow in the middle of the city. At bus stops. Where dragonflies do not fly.  There they were. Choosing to alight on her tail and on my fingers. They were everywhere while I was out at Burning Man. Flying through our little camp. Choosing to land in my hair. There was even an art installation of the life and death of dragonflies.  I chose, because of all of this, not even *knowing* that he'd return so soon, to incorporate a dragonfly into the tattoo story that graces my left arm.  A reminder that we are all light and can reflect light in powerful ways if we choose to do so. 

Dragonflies.  Dead dogs.  Buddhas.  Transformation.  

Sometimes, you travel halfway around the world to find the center of your own heart and plant your feet firmly back on the planet.  

On the wings of a dragonfly, if you're brave enough to hold on. 

 

“A positive mind find opportunity in everything. A negative mind finds faults in everything.” -Buddha

After taking a taxi to what we believed to be a hip night market that might provide some fun opportunities for street food, what we found was a wishful spot where someday, yes, there will be a hip night market, but last night there were maybe seventeen folks gathered together and the most exciting thing happening was the dogs who had figured out that table scraps may be available if they just hung out long enough.

So...we wandered to what we had gathered from the information available was a 24-hour mall.  We walked past all sorts of street food vendors and while I wasn't opposed to stopping at any of them, plucking a seat and asking to eat, the visible food available was definitely of the dead corpse variety slaughtered and prepped in a myriad of ways and I wasn't exactly certain how either of our vegetarian stomachs were going to respond?  We trudged on.  

When we reached mall it was dark, empty, and felt abandoned.  Almost like an amusement park where everyone had gone, but left just a few safety lights on.  Out of one restaurant, a woman appeared who asked us, in impeccable English, if we were hungry?  Yes. She pointed us to a corner restaurant that she claimed would feed us DimSum. 

We wandered over to the spot she had suggested, got inside, sat down, looked at the menus provided and realized both that we were unable to read them because of the exceptionally tiny print, but also they were in Thai and while we're doing our best not to be horrible tourists, we're still not the best kinds of tourists, either.  Together we struggled, guessing we'd just go for it and then, like a vision, the woman appeared again!  And asked us what it was that we really wanted??  

I expressed to her that she was, truly, an angel.  The ambassador of all of Bangkok.  She surmised that what we needed was some noodles with lots of delicious vegetables (this was no where on the menu!) and chrysanthemum tea and she told us just to relax, she'd be back.  With that, she vanished.  Not ten minutes later, two delectable plates of steaming noodles and vegetables appeared out of thin air.  Right in front of us. 

If this had not actually happened to us, I never would have believed it.  There we were in a deserted shopping mall.  Just us.  The lights were all off.  The whole space is under renovation.  But in the best possible way, food appeared and we were fed. 

It turns out the Dee (that's her name) is the GM of the mall.  It is under renovation and isn't set to re-open until August. However, she also knew we were hungry and should be fed.  I shared with her that she was one of us.   A love beet.  I promised her that I would be back.  I'm taking her some pins and stickers to make her official.  

It isn't always about the outside, this traveling to experience new cultures, to see the world with fresh eyes. Oh no, especially for me.  It is about the inside.  The hearts that crash into one another with instant recognition and the love, always the love that bubbles up from the collision.