nakedjen

The 2020 Nakedjen Film Festival

The Nakedjen Film Festival (#NJFF) started over 20 years ago as my way of avoiding the Feast of the Cash Register.  

Christmas Day, as many of us know, can be fraught with family of origin drama or even with the horrors of non-family of origin drama and there was no better way in my own mind to avoid all of this than to go sit in the dark with a bunch of misfit toy friends and watch stories unfold on a big screen.  The kindness of Hollywood meant that they understood this even better than I did and so they saved their best Oscar hopefuls for a Christmas day opening.  I'd spend the week before pouring over the scheduled films, choosing which ones to see when, smuggling in yummy snacks to share and including a break in there somewhere for all of us to gather at a Chinese restaurant to nosh and laugh and, yes, talk about the films. 

The Nakedjen Film Festival is a marathon from start to finish, but it is honestly, the best way to spend the holiday if you need to avoid the trappings of Christmas.

In the year of our Pandemic, 2020, Hollywood (who has never actually known they're participating in the Nakedjen Film Festival) is delivering the #NJFF directly to a couch near you and I could not be happier.  It means that should you like to participate the films are as close as your remote control.  I realize that not everyone has access to all of these streaming services and that makes me a tiny bit bonkers.  In my perfect world, these services would give us a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE and allow you to stream these films FOR FREE at least for the holidays.  Capitalism still rules the day, however.  The studios have not been visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present or Future, I suppose and so, well, while I can share with you where you can see these films, I must admit that they're not free.  Of course they would not be free if we were gathering together in a proper theatre, either.  We need to remember that.

Please remember that these films are simply a suggestion, as always.  Programming for the Nakedjen Film Festival is always done with a nod to both entertainment, but also to films that make you really think and perhaps even go huh?!?  I like to sit and the dark and escape, to be taken on an adventure, to be told a story that I never would have been told otherwise.  Films for me have always been my refuge, my safe space.  

I hope you'll make yourself something truly delicious, share it with your #pandemic pod, plop yourselves on the couch in comfy clothes and let the magic unfold and carry you away.

Happy Festival.  May the story that you find be the one that is written on your own heart.  xo

Festival Schedule

Wonder Woman

Available on HBO MAX
I feel like we have all been waiting ten years for this film. We haven't, we may feel that way after watching it? Who knows?  But it's coming to your couch, so you can watch and decide for yourself. 

SOUL 
Available on Disney + 

PIXAR. Questlove and Daveed Diggs. I swear I'm getting a Disney + sub just for this! Souls in training...yes. xo

TRANSHOOD

Available on HBO Max
I'm here for these kids and learning more about exactly what it means to just be human.

 

KAJILLIONAIRE

Available on Amazon Prime 
It's Miranda July. Yes, it's been out a while. I missed it at Sundance, so I'm including it for my own Christmas present. 

THE MIDNIGHT SKY 
Available on Netflix 

Would we be able to call it a festival if we did not have some sort of blockbuster that dealt with the apocalypse?  No. So here we go.  And we get George Clooney. The end. 

MA RAINEY'S BLACK BOTTOM 
Available on NETFLIX

Viola Davis. Chadwick Boseman.  The esteemed August Wilson.  Do I really need to say anything else?  This film was made to drop on Christmas.  This one is like going to Church. 

LET THEM ALL TALK

Available on HBO MAX

An Amuse Bouche from our friend, Steven Soderbergh.  Starring Meryl Streep.  Alternatively, you can stream THE PROM with Meryl and her friends on NETFLIX.  Or go all in and stream them both.  It's like Meryl decided to show up for you both in your stocking and under the tree!!

WOLFWALKERS

Available on APPLE TV 
Irish folklore, animation, it's actually fun for the whole family.  Maybe a great bedtime story?  

A VERY MURRAY CHRISTMAS 
Available on NETFLIX 

I'm not me if Mr. Murray if not making an appearance.  Hot dogs are on him.  May your holidays be merry and bright. xo

I can't be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight

I sat in silent meditation as the tea swirled in my cup, contemplating the last few days, the last few weeks, the moments that have gotten a bit lighter as the days have found their way from deep darkness around the sun back into a bit more light. 

We were gathered together in a small group, searching for community in this city of strangers that so often pretends that we are not, for a ceremony.  A tea ceremony.  The tea on offer last night was a miner's tea from China.  Cooling to the body and, as I learned, engaging for the mind.  

Six rounds were poured. One after another gently served in beautiful clay cups.  I held mine and with each pour, more tea leaves gathered with a story in the bottom.  I know that there are wise crones that could have discerned the messages in those leaves for me, but what I found was a message from Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Go ahead and laugh.  I certainly did.  Loud and clear, I heard him say, "Ah, Nakedjen, this is the only life you've got."  

Wise and timely words from a dead man.  

****

The last time I really saw Philip Seymour Hoffman he could barely keep himself vertical.  It was far too early in the morning for either one of us, honestly, and a film he had both directed and starred in was screening at an ungodly hour at Sundance.  I'm not sure he actually went to sleep the night before and instead had chosen to acclimate to our thin air and altitude by just drinking all night.  He could have been absolutely any one of the characters he's played standing there, but he was also absolutely himself.  He was charming in his self-deprecation and was completely honest that he felt his film was just, well, not so good and thanked all of us profusely for sitting all the way to the end. 

I chatted with him briefly when he was here, again, the year he died.  I asked him if he was drinking enough water? Altitude sickness, you know?  He laughed his laugh and told me drinking water wasn't the problem.  He shuffled his way, I wandered mine.  That was a strange Sundance year for me for a whole host of other reasons, but I still mark it as the year we said goodbye. 

****

My last few months have found me struggling with time.  With age. With love. With relationships. With the masks that we wear.  
Self-medication can take so many forms and can cause harm in our lives in such varied ways.  The devil in our own hearts is sometimes a mistress whose lies are far sweeter and nicer to hear than the hard truths we're tasked with facing about ourselves.  So we eat the pecan pie doused with bourbon while sitting on the couch in the dark with a dog in our lap and hide under our blanket and believe that it might not be such a bad way to disappear.  

****

Then the light hits you square between your eyes. Brightly. 

You put on your love goggles that you remember you actually do own. 
You get some fresh air. The dog stops snoring and wags his tail and reminds you that walks in the woods are good for you, too.  You say yes to an invitation. 
You actually get out of your pajamas, extract yourself from the bottom of the couch, make no excuses, stay sober. 
A dead man finds his way into the bottom of your cup and reminds you that this is the only life you've got and a smile finds its way to the corner of your frown.

I'm not making promises about tomorrow. Today, I'm showing up for the living. 

I don't know why it's been so long

"Pleasures
First look from morning's window
The rediscovered book
Fascinated faces
Snow, the change of the seasons
The newspaper
The dog
Dialectics
Showering, swimming
Old music
Comfortable shoes
Comprehension
New music
Writing, planting
Traveling
Singing
Being friendly" 
— Bertolt Brecht 

• What I am reading A million years ago, I was fortunate enough to stumble into a theatre on a very cold February night in East Berlin and see a performance of this play. That same year, I also saw it performed with breathtaking brilliance by none other than Dame Judi Dench in the title role at the Barbican Theatre in London. That cast also included Zoe Wanamaker and Tilda Swinton (and I saw the play, not joking, for like $5 because, well, London 1984).  All this to say that it still speaks to us now, just as it did then, perhaps even more so.  Mother Courage lost all her children in the war. We're still losing the battle. As humans, I am afraid, we may never actually learn that our past is prologue. 

• What I am eating  Ultimate comfort food. It's FREEZING in SLC right now. Big pot of this. It lasts. My professor is missing (not really, but he is not here this week) and this warms up and allows me to eat quickly after working all day at the clinic and dashing to other evening activities. 

• What I am Listening To  You pulled me up when you took my hand/There was silence in my heart/And now I'm striking up the band/They lit the bonfire but now we can light the lamp. Dirty Projectors latest release, Lamp Lit Prose, is a testament to everything that made me fall in love with them many years ago and remember that they're just good medicine for me. They're quirky, they're not everyone's favourite, but they're one of mine. 

• What I am watching  Rickey Jackson served nearly 40 years in an Ohio prison on death row for a crime he did not commit. He shares part of his story. 

• What I am thinking about When the powers that be decided to scrap the Medical Marijuana proposition that the good people of Utah voted for and passed, they also scrapped edibles along with it.  And with that, they scrapped my own plans to relaunch Dreamsweet Organics as a medicinal edibles company.  It is no secret that I have been also talking about how someone should actually come up with a CBD infused KOMBUCHA, so, hey, I'm glad to see that Dave was already thinking about this and was working away at it.  I also can't help but smile that he's calling this product DREAM CATCHER. Ahem. I've been aligned with this company since it was just one single offering on a shelf in small independent health food stores. I'm proud of his success. I honored to have been a part of it.
  
  And...I'm also still very angry at my so-called representatives in the state of Utah for preventing the citizens from having what they actually wanted in the name of Jesus Christ our Saviour, Amen.  Eventually this state will learn that democracy is not spelled MORMON. 

• What I am really feeling: Frustrated.  Introverted, as well.  I'm supposed to be at a party right this minute.  I didn't go because I decided pajamas and warm socks and a big black dog sitting in my lap were far more my style right now. I know, shocking. 
   

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got.

You have a high calling etched into your bones and written on your heart. You are made of stardust and magic and the tears of unicorns. You were made to explore, to share and to love. I love you, the most, and I'm so glad that I get to share this ride around the sun with you. 

• What I am reading From a small town in West Virginia, a shocking story that we believe we have heard before of police and lethal force. This is not the same story and it worth the time it will take you to read it. 

• What I am eating  Since the trip to Bali last May, my tastebuds have wanted more and more coconut. All the ways. This soup works and it's easy to make. 

• What I am Listening To I listen to this a lot. At work. Because troubled times mean I need music that keeps my head from exploding off my shoulders. This music does just that for me. It may do that for you, as well. I don't know? I appreciate that Moby gave it to us for free. 

• What I am watching  Sandra Bland's message was that we need to listen to one another. Indeed. We absolutely do. I will watch. I will listen.  I never believed that she committed suicide. I want to know more, I hope that this documentary will allow all of us to listen and learn and also, perhaps, allow Sandra's fight for social justice to go on. 

• What I am thinking about I worked hard to both get Prop 2 on the ballot in Utah and to get it passed. The THEOCRACY that rules this state dismantled what the voters passed on election day. I am angry that the voice of the people has been squashed under a very heavy BOOK OF MORMON. Do I want to know if the dispensary will offer medicinal green jellies with carrots in them? Not really, no. I don't want to know that. I'm actually furious. The states of Nevada and Colorado must be rejoicing at our stupidity. 

• What I am really feeling: Grateful. I was certain I was going to have a grand mal seizure earlier, so I got myself into a chair at the acupuncture clinic, had the needles put in just the right places and released the Kraken before I flopped onto the floor. I have such a beautiful team of healers that take such amazing care of me.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, should be so blessed.